GolfGTIforum.co.uk
General => General discussion => Topic started by: MrBounce on 06 May 2009, 14:37
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What it says in the title. Let's hear it! :sick:
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yours first, your thread!?!
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yours first, your thread!?!
+1
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Sophy Tidworth.
Nick
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driven a perodua :sick:
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Where's Fielder :grin: :grin:
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Pissed on myself.
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YOUR MUM! :grin:
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Thrown up in the bath! :sick:
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Thrown up in the bath! :sick:
Wouldn't a toilet be worse? People's feces go there lol!
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Thrown up in the bath! :sick:
:sick: a bath of sick!
I dont know. Too many to remember :grin:
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Fingered my bumhole.
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Thrown up in the bath! :sick:
Wouldn't a toilet be worse? People's feces go there lol!
But I have never had a bath in a toilet! :grin:
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yours first, your thread!?!
Leant out of the library window at school, hocked up a big green lugie and gobbed it out. It landed on a teacher's head. I was a hero for several weeks and got away with a lecture and no other punishment!! :laugh:
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The ex hurled in the bedroom bin when we were on holiday in majorca years ago. Luckily there was a bag in there so I offered to get rid of it. We were on something like the 7th floor so I found a small window in a stairwell and tossed it out...............straight onto the verranda of some people opposite who were sitting having a bbq!!!
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Unfortunately i don't think i've got anything that's "disgusting".
However! Mine and Chris's housemate came home after we'd had a heavy night out and made himself a raw sausage sandwich with ketchup, and then went to bed to eat it, before throwing it back up perfectly on his jeans which were on the floor. I'm sure Chris will put the pics up later....
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My bro's house mate once pulled a bird and mid through giving her one leaned out of bed and yacked in her shoes.
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
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swallowed my own vomit in the back of a taxi :sick:
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
suprising that no one cares! ...where's sharpie?
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
suprising that no one cares! ...where's sharpie?
:huh: indeed we need answers here ToRo!
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
suprising that no one cares! ...where's sharpie?
:huh: indeed we need answers here ToRo!
Why the intrigue?
Seems a pretty normal thing to me! :rolleyes:
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
suprising that no one cares! ...where's sharpie?
:huh: indeed we need answers here ToRo!
Well I was drunk and I kinda slipped off my toilet mid wipe?
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
suprising that no one cares! ...where's sharpie?
:huh: indeed we need answers here ToRo!
Well I was drunk and I kinda slipped off my toilet mid wipe?
:huh:
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I dug a squirels brains out his skull once, with a teaspoon, to make a full sized squirel lure to train a buzzard to kill them.
Also a crows brains too, to make a neckercheif. (using the skull as the togle)
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Due to the official secrets act I can post all the details.
but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
and to those who said your mum - after 3 years in south wales and the the pleasure of the " valley commandos"
I raise your your mum to " your Gran " :lipsrsealed: :laugh:
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some of you need to keep this sh!t under wraps, squirrels brains and bum fingering! great :afro:
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Surprised there's no sheep admissions!
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but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
I hope you didn't lose!
nick
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but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
I hope you didn't lose!
nick
nope - thankfully :sick:
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Soggy biscuit? You sicken me!
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Soggy biscuit? You sicken me!
This coming from Poo Finger!
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Owned a Ford :cry:
cant stop laughing at the BUM-HOLE thing :laugh:
Soggy biscuit = I FEEL ILL
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I cant look at you guys straight anymore.......
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I'm now pretty glad I don't live anywhere near you guys!! hahaha! :sick:
thumb up the ass... thats pretty bad dude, I don't care how drunk you were.. :sick: LOL
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One ate a 4 day old Kebab meat pizza straight from the box without re heating it! think i even put some sald cream on it!
Not as bad as toro's finger to bum experience, but its no soggy biscuit! :sick:
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I just had to look soggy biscuit up :sick: :sick: :sick:
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Soggy biscuit? You sicken me!
This coming from Poo Finger!
Feck me lol that was a quality reply ahahahaha!!!! :laugh:
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ye poo finger really takes the biscuit.... or is it soggy biscuit really takes the SH*T! haha! :laugh:
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I just had to look soggy biscuit up :sick: :sick: :sick:
So did i on "WIKI" i stopped at the point where it said "looser eats the biscuit" :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
If i ever come to a meet and one of you guys (but plug thumb and jizz cookie) are there i wont be able to stop laughing :laugh: :laugh: :evil:
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I just had to look soggy biscuit up :sick: :sick: :sick:
So did i on "WIKI" i stopped at the point where it said "looser eats the biscuit" :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
If i ever come to a meet and one of you guys (but plug thumb and jizz cookie) are there i wont be able to stop laughing :laugh: :laugh: :evil:
premature ejaculation does have benefits when playing soggy biscuit :grin: :grin: :grin:
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I just had to look soggy biscuit up :sick: :sick: :sick:
So did i on "WIKI" i stopped at the point where it said "looser eats the biscuit" :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
If i ever come to a meet and one of you guys (but plug thumb and jizz cookie) are there i wont be able to stop laughing :laugh: :laugh: :evil:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ( but plug thumb and jizz cookie) HAHAHAHAH!!!! I can't breath I'm laughing so much!! hahahaha!!
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I just had to look soggy biscuit up :sick: :sick: :sick:
So did i on "WIKI" i stopped at the point where it said "looser eats the biscuit" :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
If i ever come to a meet and one of you guys (but plug thumb and jizz cookie) are there i wont be able to stop laughing :laugh: :laugh: :evil:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ( but plug thumb and jizz cookie) HAHAHAHAH!!!! I can't breath I'm laughing so much!! hahahaha!!
Quality! :grin:
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milked my own prostate, more than once :D
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milked my own prostate, more than once :D
..... I'm scared... take the bad man away.... :lipsrsealed:
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milked my own prostate, more than once :D
:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
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Way to lower the tone Bratty... :sick: :grin:
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
I really hope your a chick.... or that isn't funny....
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
wassup with that?
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CHucked up in a club toilet, then came out and snogged a lovely young lady! :D
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It was up!
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
WRONG JUST SOOOO WRONG
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but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
I hope you didn't lose!
nick
everyone loses - it's a bunch of guys wanking together
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
WRONG JUST SOOOO WRONG
Totally agree! :sick: Never again!
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Licked a girls asshole :laugh:
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It was up!
i really dont understand why you dont find men attractive, i bet you've never wiped your minge on the curtains eh???
:D
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Done a girl up the bum :laugh:
:sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick:
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
WRONG JUST SOOOO WRONG
Totally agree! :sick: Never again!
Never understand this one, whats wrong with intercourse between opposite sexes? You must use objects when with another woman so the real deal is better than a plastic replica?????????????????
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
WRONG JUST SOOOO WRONG
Totally agree! :sick: Never again!
Never understand this one, whats wrong with intercourse between opposite sexes? You must use objects when with another woman so the real deal is better than a plastic replica?????????????????
INcorrect, there is a man attatched to the en of it, which is part of the problem, plus they are full of infection, pregnancy aided juice, sweat and scank. Enough said. Would you put a thingy inside you? No.
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
WRONG JUST SOOOO WRONG
Totally agree! :sick: Never again!
Never understand this one, whats wrong with intercourse between opposite sexes? You must use objects when with another woman so the real deal is better than a plastic replica?????????????????
INcorrect, there is a man attatched to the en of it, which is part of the problem, plus they are full of infection, pregnancy aided juice, sweat and scank. Enough said. Would you put a thingy inside you? No.
Erm, your missing the point hunny, I am a bloke and do not play cricket for the other side.................................
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Had sex with a bloke! :sick: PMSL! :laugh:
WRONG JUST SOOOO WRONG
Totally agree! :sick: Never again!
Never understand this one, whats wrong with intercourse between opposite sexes? You must use objects when with another woman so the real deal is better than a plastic replica?????????????????
Its the thought of intimate manly contact. I think. :cool:
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Licked a girls asshole :laugh:
life is alot like oral sex.... one slip of the tongue and your in the sh*t! :grin:
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You guys are messed in the head, seriously, you should get checked out!
Hetrosexual sex? WTF is with that?!
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You guys are messed in the head, seriously, you should get checked out!
Hetrosexual sex? WTF is with that?!
you have no saing in this, butt plug
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You guys are messed in the head, seriously, you should get checked out!
Hetrosexual sex? WTF is with that?!
pipe down brown digit :grin:
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I've never done anything disgusting.
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Khare your stealing his nickname given to him by me. Only i can do that "slaps hand" :laugh:
Anyway Buttplug
This weeks Buttpluging award goes to "drum role" :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :evil:
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buttplug is his new nickname.
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You guys are messed in the head, seriously, you should get checked out!
AGAIN
This coming from Poo Finger!
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You guys are messed in the head, seriously, you should get checked out!
AGAIN
This coming from Poo Finger!
HAHAHAHA, This is torture for the poor bloke...Keep 'em' Rollin :smug: :evil:
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i might have to put toro's quote in my sig lol
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
not touching it cus nothing comes to mind
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This is just quality :grin: :grin: :grin: Not laughed so hard on here for a while!
Poo finger, CLASSIC, INSTANT CLASSIC!
Raven, sex with guys is awesome LMAO!
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Licked a girls asshole :laugh:
+1 :drool:
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Licked a girls asshole :laugh:
+1 :drool:
+2 lol. im durty like that but she didnt like it :embarassed: lol
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Licked a girls asshole :laugh:
+1 :drool:
+2 lol. im durty like that but she didnt like it :embarassed: lol
Why. Why would you lick a hole where waste comes out of? If you could, would you lick your own asshole?
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Licked a girls asshole :laugh:
+1 :drool:
+2 lol. im durty like that but she didnt like it :embarassed: lol
Why. Why would you lick a hole where waste comes out of? If you could, would you lick your own asshole?
if it looked as inviting as hers did i might but i doubt it does... :laugh:
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What do brussel sprouts and pubic hair have in common?
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Uh oh, tell ? :grin:
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you put both of them aside and eat the main course :laugh:
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one of my mates mom's took his big bag of porn off him, so he went to rob it back out of her bedroom when she was out. anyhow instead of the porn he found her rabbit, shouted 'eurghhh f**k'. i picked it up and slapped it round his face, chased him outside with it and his mom came back as i was chasing him.
bit of an arquard moment tbh :smiley:
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:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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one of my mates mom's took his big bag of porn off him, so he went to rob it back out of her bedroom when she was out. anyhow instead of the porn he found her rabbit, shouted 'eurghhh f**k'. i picked it up and slapped it round his face, chased him outside with it and his mom came back as i was chasing him.
bit of an arquard moment tbh :smiley:
LMAO! that is a classic!
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one of my mates mom's took his big bag of porn off him, so he went to rob it back out of her bedroom when she was out. anyhow instead of the porn he found her rabbit, shouted 'eurghhh f**k'. i picked it up and slapped it round his face, chased him outside with it and his mom came back as i was chasing him.
bit of an arquard moment tbh :smiley:
LMAO! that is a classic!
Something similar happened to me and my mates once lol! Round a friends playing Timesplitters 2 and one of us went to the bathroom, me and my mate are there playing the game still, and the other one comes in with this pink dildo from his Mum, LMAO! We are like "What the f**k are you doing??" and he throws it at Matt (who's Mum dildo belongs too haha) and he lets it drop to the floor, it suddenly turns on and is wiggling around on the floor, I pick it up and started doing things as if I was going to use it...
...we had our laughs...
...I turned it off and put it back haha! My fingers strangely smelt like fish afterwards... :sick:
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:sick:
ROTFL :laugh:
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OMG.. where do i start, spent 5 yrs at uni trying to do disgusting things :grin:
Me and a mate found another mate pissed on his bedroom floor face down totally starkers. So be lubed up his ass with shaving gel and stuck a paint brush handle right up his ass. Never laughed so much whilst doing it, so took some pictures too... just incase evidence was ever required.
Left some man juice inside my mates pillow case.
Got seriously fecked off by a mate on holiday. Fortunately he was due to fligh back home a couple of days early so once he was packed i opened his case and put his a nice dozen eggs in his case to ensure he had a nice smooth journey. That was only the decoy of course... a nice fat log in his side pocket in a bag of Lays just incase he got peckish on the way home.
Would always wate until my mates oven chips were about 5mins to being cooked and then chuck in a few frozen ones.. he never did get how that oven worked :laugh:
oh the good times eh :grin:
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^^^
You cruel bastard, I love it!!! LOL!
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OMG.. where do i start, spent 5 yrs at uni trying to do disgusting things :grin:
Me and a mate found another mate pissed on his bedroom floor face down totally starkers. So be lubed up his ass with shaving gel and stuck a paint brush handle right up his ass. Never laughed so much whilst doing it, so took some pictures too... just incase evidence was ever required.
Thats just sick but funny hahaha
My Brother got shaved head to toe and then to make up for the lack of pubes they where replaced using gloss spray and marker pens :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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At school i bet a mate £1 that he couldnt drink a bottle of vinegar.. he won, but it was the best pound i ever spent.
Mate had a headache in maths, I had some paracetamol but told him he could only have them if he chewed them + 50p for good measure. He won also... best 50p I ever spent, especially when i pulled out my ribena half way through his ordeal and refused to give him some.
My flat mate once told me that he loved mayo so much that he could eat gallons of it. Obviously I saw this as an opportunity to challenge this claim. So me and another mate put up £50 that he couldnt eat 3 tea spoons full, he took up the challenge. 3 heaped tea spoons of mayo is alot of mayo!! He failed after the second and threw up.... Has never had mayo since, that was 6yrs ago :grin:
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At school i bet a mate £1 that he couldnt drink a bottle of vinegar.. he won, but it was the best pound i ever spent.
Mate had a headache in maths, I had some paracetamol but told him he could only have them if he chewed them + 50p for good measure. He won also... best 50p I ever spent, especially when i pulled out my ribena half way through his ordeal and refused to give him some.
My flat mate once told me that he loved mayo so much that he could eat gallons of it. Obviously I saw this as an opportunity to challenge this claim. So me and another mate put up £50 that he couldnt eat 3 tea spoons full, he took up the challenge. 3 heaped tea spoons of mayo is alot of mayo!! He failed after the second and threw up.... Has never had mayo since, that was 6yrs ago :grin:
hahaha LEGEND, thats awesome keep the storys coming if you have got more :evil: :laugh:
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R32UK - you are a bad man to the bone... and we all wish to do the things you do :laugh:
good work soldier!! haha
keep em comin!
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Me and a mate found another mate pissed on his bedroom floor face down totally starkers. So be lubed up his ass with shaving gel and stuck a paint brush handle right up his ass. Never laughed so much whilst doing it, so took some pictures too... just incase evidence was ever required.
Dude... :sad: :huh:
Awesome thread though!!
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I regularly flick big bogies onto my technicians chair at work, then watch him sit on them when he returns to the office.
Either that or I flick em onto his jacket, which hangs on the back of his chair.
In my last job, I put dirt from a plant pot into my boss's kettle, then also put some washing up liquid in it for good measure.
I also spat in her mouthwash ;)
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My flat mate once told me that he loved mayo so much that he could eat gallons of it. Obviously I saw this as an opportunity to challenge this claim. So me and another mate put up £50 that he couldnt eat 3 tea spoons full, he took up the challenge. 3 heaped tea spoons of mayo is alot of mayo!! He failed after the second and threw up.... Has never had mayo since, that was 6yrs ago :grin:
3 tea spoons? seriously? I could eat far more than that, and that is challange!
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We managed to convince a guy at school to eat a bar of soap. He managed about a quarter and was then ill for about 2 days :laugh: And some guy in my brother's house found a slug in his salad so he ate that too :sick:
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Aww there really is loads more... just that half the time we were all quite drunk so struggle to remember them all. Im sure a few more will come back to me! Will phone a friend and see what he can remember.... painting mates nails and drawing on faces was pretty common place though... ahh another..
Not really disgusting but... We did have an ongoing feud the group of lads that lived in the block opposite us at halls. The war started when they thought it would be funny to throw an egg through an open kitchen window. We very quickly all put in a fiver each and took a trip to ASDA where we bought £25 worth of value eggs.
We very cunningly waited until a nice sunny morning and plastered 4 floors of their building with about 500 eggs. That was one big scrambled egg!! Warden wasnt very happy... funny watching 30 people hanging out of windows cleaning the side of a building. Obviously that was too great an opportunity to miss so we went to the back of our building and continued to randomly throw them over the top in the hope that we would get a few of them. Dont know if we did but it was pi$$ funny doing it!
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My flat mate once told me that he loved mayo so much that he could eat gallons of it. Obviously I saw this as an opportunity to challenge this claim. So me and another mate put up £50 that he couldnt eat 3 tea spoons full, he took up the challenge. 3 heaped tea spoons of mayo is alot of mayo!! He failed after the second and threw up.... Has never had mayo since, that was 6yrs ago :grin:
3 tea spoons? seriously? I could eat far more than that, and that is challange!
You might want to try a trial run first. If you have a big enough jar, you will be suprised by how much you can actually fit on the spoon when its scooped up. Only hellmans of course :wink:
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My flat mate once told me that he loved mayo so much that he could eat gallons of it. Obviously I saw this as an opportunity to challenge this claim. So me and another mate put up £50 that he couldnt eat 3 tea spoons full, he took up the challenge. 3 heaped tea spoons of mayo is alot of mayo!! He failed after the second and threw up.... Has never had mayo since, that was 6yrs ago :grin:
3 tea spoons? seriously? I could eat far more than that, and that is challange!
You might want to try a trial run first. If you have a big enough jar, you will be suprised by how much you can actually fit on the spoon when its scooped up. Only hellmans of course :wink:
will hellmans light be suitable? :huh:
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LOL @ Guy.
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the most disgusting thing i have seen today is embarrassing bodies on C4... :sick: :sick:
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My flat mate once told me that he loved mayo so much that he could eat gallons of it. Obviously I saw this as an opportunity to challenge this claim. So me and another mate put up £50 that he couldnt eat 3 tea spoons full, he took up the challenge. 3 heaped tea spoons of mayo is alot of mayo!! He failed after the second and threw up.... Has never had mayo since, that was 6yrs ago :grin:
3 tea spoons? seriously? I could eat far more than that, and that is challange!
You might want to try a trial run first. If you have a big enough jar, you will be suprised by how much you can actually fit on the spoon when its scooped up. Only hellmans of course :wink:
will hellmans light be suitable? :huh:
light or not. I eat mayo with food, rather than food with mayo.
Let me just go grab a spoonful of mayo, will report back.
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My flat mate once told me that he loved mayo so much that he could eat gallons of it. Obviously I saw this as an opportunity to challenge this claim. So me and another mate put up £50 that he couldnt eat 3 tea spoons full, he took up the challenge. 3 heaped tea spoons of mayo is alot of mayo!! He failed after the second and threw up.... Has never had mayo since, that was 6yrs ago :grin:
3 tea spoons? seriously? I could eat far more than that, and that is challange!
You might want to try a trial run first. If you have a big enough jar, you will be suprised by how much you can actually fit on the spoon when its scooped up. Only hellmans of course :wink:
will hellmans light be suitable? :huh:
light or not. I eat mayo with food, rather than food with mayo.
Let me just go grab a spoonful of mayo, will report back.
things you MIGHT regret saying :grin:
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My mate took a dump off the top of a multi-storey carpark once. That was messy...
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could tell a mayo story, but i think Khare bear might :sick:
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My flat mate once told me that he loved mayo so much that he could eat gallons of it. Obviously I saw this as an opportunity to challenge this claim. So me and another mate put up £50 that he couldnt eat 3 tea spoons full, he took up the challenge. 3 heaped tea spoons of mayo is alot of mayo!! He failed after the second and threw up.... Has never had mayo since, that was 6yrs ago :grin:
3 tea spoons? seriously? I could eat far more than that, and that is challange!
You might want to try a trial run first. If you have a big enough jar, you will be suprised by how much you can actually fit on the spoon when its scooped up. Only hellmans of course :wink:
will hellmans light be suitable? :huh:
light or not. I eat mayo with food, rather than food with mayo.
Let me just go grab a spoonful of mayo, will report back.
things you MIGHT regret saying :grin:
I might regret saying it, but...i just had a TABLE spoon full, not a pooney little tea spoon, and it tasted great :smiley:
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Im glad im not the only warped student in the house...
Disgusting things... mmmm
I've been dared to do a triple bloody mary. that didnt end well, espically on a night out..
Also i chinned 8 dbl gins that were in a pint glass which my "friends" decided to tell a half cut capoot that it was water and he shud neck it to make him sober up. opposite effect... trust me..
Oh and leaving a used jonny on my mates pillow, then fabricing a story that i had lost it.. haha
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Right it's settled boys, Bristol Volksfest we are taking a jar of mayo for khare on Sunday ;)
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could tell a mayo story, but i think Khare bear might :sick:
not about the KFC that was supposed to not contain mayo..
after biting into it and inspecting it, turned out not to be mayo...
but a tumor on the chiken :sick: :sick:
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Right it's settled boys, Bristol Volksfest we are taking a jar of mayo for khare on Sunday ;)
IF i do go to volksfest that is :grin:
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Right it's settled boys, Bristol Volksfest we are taking a jar of mayo for khare on Sunday ;)
IF i do go to volksfest that is :grin:
gay - FACT :grin:
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Your a sick guy khare!!! has to be full fat version by the way!
That does remind me of the time my mate fell asleep in the kitchen/lounge. Knowing how much he hates chilli food we sprinkled a little red chilli powder on his bottom lip. Unfortunately he woke up as we were doing it, the usual fits of laughter from us whilst a fair bit of swearing and abuse from him.
He managed to wipe it from his lip... but in his still slightly sleepy state, walked straight out of the kitchen and into the pi$$ pot. Was only a couple of minutes later when we seen him run out holding his crotch. The dumb a$$ forgot to wash his hand he wiped the chilli power off with and ended up with it on the end of his tickle tackle. got a few laughs :grin:
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your all girls....I once let a doctor stick an umbrella thing up my jap's eye (and that really frickin hurts b.t.w!) :cry:
I had to walk very gingerly for days...weeks even and i couldnt drive in case my trousers rubbed!!
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one of the worst when i was a junior soldier in the army at bovington we were in an 8 man room and this dopey prick kept f00king up our room inspections
so one night after we'd been on the piss in bouremouth we comes back and there he is in he's pit snoring like a fooking fog horn
so at my mates suggestion we had a wank and wiped the spunk on his eyelids :grin:
well you know happens when spunk drys :grin:
he woke up in the morning and thought he'd gone blind as he couldn't open his eyes :grin: :grin:
never laughed so much in my life :grin:
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:grin: :lipsrsealed:
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:grin: :grin: :grin:
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your all girls....I once let a doctor stick an umbrella thing up my jap's eye (and that really frickin hurts b.t.w!) :cry:
I had to walk very gingerly for days...weeks even and i couldnt drive in case my trousers rubbed!!
:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
F*CK THAT!!!!!!!!! no one is stickin s*!t up my jap-eye
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what about not having any bog roll, heading out to local shop, no andrex, buy this crappy cheap sh!t, go for a relaxing dump, use the cheap sh!t bog roll and nearly loosing half my middle finger where middle fingers shouldnt go.
does that count ?
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yes....refer to toro's post, yet i rekon he done it on purpose
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yes....refer to toro's post, yet i rekon he done it on purpose
No wonder, he drives a spanish car. :grin:
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Some of my mates have done some funny things.
When I was younger/teanager me and my mates would gate crash any tean house party, but my one mate would go and find the parents bedroom and sh!t in their bed. :grin:
I've seen a female friend toss a horse off once, and lick her hands after. There was about ten of us lads watching, and we were like
:shocked: :laugh: :shocked: :undecided: :evil: :smug: :drool: :sick: :sick: :embarassed:
One of my mates picked up a used condom in a shop doorway, undone the knot, and and swallowed the contents. :sick:
The same lad also stuck his finger up a dogs arse, and sucked his finger after. :sick:
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One of my mates picked up a used condom in a shop doorway, undone the knot, and and swallowed the contents. :sick:
The same lad also stuck his finger up a dogs arse, and sucked his finger after. :sick:
Mentalist
(http://www.unreflected.com/~kate/3.gif)
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This thread has become very disturbing yet hugely funny!
Nick
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one of the worst when i was a junior soldier in the army at bovington we were in an 8 man room and this dopey prick kept f00king up our room inspections
so one night after we'd been on the piss in bouremouth we comes back and there he is in he's pit snoring like a fooking fog horn
so at my mates suggestion we had a wank and wiped the spunk on his eyelids :grin:
well you know happens when spunk drys :grin:
he woke up in the morning and thought he'd gone blind as he couldn't open his eyes :grin: :grin:
never laughed so much in my life :grin:
:D :D :D
That is so wrong but funny as fook!
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Some of my mates have done some funny things.
When I was younger/teanager me and my mates would gate crash any tean house party, but my one mate would go and find the parents bedroom and sh!t in their bed. :grin:
I've seen a female friend toss a horse off once, and lick her hands after. There was about ten of us lads watching, and we were like
:shocked: :laugh: :shocked: :undecided: :evil: :smug: :drool: :sick: :sick: :embarassed:
One of my mates picked up a used condom in a shop doorway, undone the knot, and and swallowed the contents. :sick:
The same lad also stuck his finger up a dogs arse, and sucked his finger after. :sick:
I am concerned about your mate, is he still walking the streets?
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lol at uni once we poured dry milk powder on this guy when he was asleep and then everytime he got hot for about a month after he would stink of gone off milk! not really gross but very funny! we should include embarrassing stories into this thread got loads of them!..........
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filled my mouth will sherbet n then cherry coke n shook my head about :grin: and the my mate dared me to put his gf underwear on n run round the streets lol
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your all girls....I once let a doctor stick an umbrella thing up my jap's eye (and that really frickin hurts b.t.w!) :cry:
I had to walk very gingerly for days...weeks even and i couldnt drive in case my trousers rubbed!!
you been shaggin skaggy women then weren't you?? :rolleyes:
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your all girls....I once let a doctor stick an umbrella thing up my jap's eye (and that really frickin hurts b.t.w!) :cry:
I had to walk very gingerly for days...weeks even and i couldnt drive in case my trousers rubbed!!
you been shaggin skaggy women then weren't you?? :rolleyes:
I have had that done, hurts like hell when you wee, like pi55ing fire! Twas thrush, dirty bi tch that was my girlfriend at the time!
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I've had a trip to the clinic to, tis not fun!
Nick
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most. disturbing. thread. ever. FACT
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Guy if you want the umbrella trip i know a few females that will make you need it!! :wink: :rolleyes:
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I am concerned about your mate, is he still walking the streets?
The fecker is retired now, he's only 44 for crying out loud, he used to own a scrap metal merchant place, but he lives a humble life. Still nuts though the last time I heard.
I've had, what was like a McDonalds plastic sugar stiring spoon down the jap, after some frantic sex, down the clap clinic :grin: All clear though :smiley: Didn't hurt too much though. :rolleyes:
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Guy if you want the umbrella trip i know a few females that will make you need it!! :wink: :rolleyes:
ooh yes please!!! i'd love that... the umbrella thing not the skankers! :laugh:
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Drive a diesel ;)
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Drive a diesel ;)
Didn't you want to buy a diesel Golf originally? :grin:
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Hahahaaa. No.
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Some of my mates have done some funny things.
When I was younger/teanager me and my mates would gate crash any tean house party, but my one mate would go and find the parents bedroom and sh!t in their bed. :grin:
I've seen a female friend toss a horse off once, and lick her hands after. There was about ten of us lads watching, and we were like
:shocked: :laugh: :shocked: :undecided: :evil: :smug: :drool: :sick: :sick: :embarassed:
One of my mates picked up a used condom in a shop doorway, undone the knot, and and swallowed the contents. :sick:
The same lad also stuck his finger up a dogs arse, and sucked his finger after. :sick:
:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
your mate is guenuinly sick!
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Some of my mates have done some funny things.
When I was younger/teanager me and my mates would gate crash any tean house party, but my one mate would go and find the parents bedroom and sh!t in their bed. :grin:
I've seen a female friend toss a horse off once, and lick her hands after. There was about ten of us lads watching, and we were like
:shocked: :laugh: :shocked: :undecided: :evil: :smug: :drool: :sick: :sick: :embarassed:
One of my mates picked up a used condom in a shop doorway, undone the knot, and and swallowed the contents. :sick:
The same lad also stuck his finger up a dogs arse, and sucked his finger after. :sick:
:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
your mate is guenuinly sick!
No way that is just wrong on every single level or wrongness, your mate wouldnt happen to have a wardrobe full of white jackets with belts on them would he :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :laugh:
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One time I was having a house party with some friends and my then bf. We were drinking Malibu and wondering why it looks a bit cloudy.
Turned out someone had emptied my other half's used condom into it.
I'm not sure who it was more disgusting for, me, him or the person who actually picked up the used condom?
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I don't do disgusting things, I watch other people do them on slutload and jerk off.
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One time I was having a house party with some friends and my then bf. We were drinking Malibu and wondering why it looks a bit cloudy.
Turned out someone had emptied my other half's used condom into it.
I'm not sure who it was more disgusting for, me, him or the person who actually picked up the used condom?
That's why a man should not drink Malibu.
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Not me, but a mate was seeing this lass. and the third time he stopped over at hers she said she didn't want to have sex because she didn't want him to think she was a whore. He replied "Well what about the last 2 times ive stopped over?" After this, he was a bit pissed off, so he locked her out of her own room (this is at uni btw) filled her sink with wee wee, cum all over her bed sheets, then stole 3 quid for the taxi home.
He's a nice guy :laugh:
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Not me, but a mate was seeing this lass. and the third time he stopped over at hers she said she didn't want to have sex because she didn't want him to think she was a whore. He replied "Well what about the last 2 times ive stopped over?" After this, he was a bit pissed off, so he locked her out of her own room (this is at uni btw) filled her sink with wee wee, cum all over her bed sheets, then stole 3 quid for the taxi home.
He's a nice guy :laugh:
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
Harsh, VERY harsh, but funny :laugh:
Khare likes this :smug:
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Not me, but a mate was seeing this lass. and the third time he stopped over at hers she said she didn't want to have sex because she didn't want him to think she was a whore. He replied "Well what about the last 2 times ive stopped over?" After this, he was a bit pissed off, so he locked her out of her own room (this is at uni btw) filled her sink with wee wee, cum all over her bed sheets, then stole 3 quid for the taxi home.
He's a nice guy :laugh:
Wow.. what a c*nt..
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...so he locked her out of her own room (this is at uni btw) filled her sink with wee wee, cum all over her bed sheets, then stole 3 quid for the taxi home.
Thats actually quite worrying.
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well where do you draw the line...
girl fingering bum..
licking girls bum...
had a bird sh!t on my when doing reverse cowgirl..
drinking games involving drinking til your sick, spew back into the glass and drink the sprew...
condoms up peoples bums were a common thing through basic training..
teabagged loads of people...
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well where do you draw the line...
girl fingering bum..
licking girls bum...
had a bird sh!t on my when doing reverse cowgirl..
drinking games involving drinking til your sick, spew back into the glass and drink the sprew...
condoms up peoples bums were a common thing through basic training..
teabagged loads of people...
Reminds me of Toro :laugh:
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im sure there are loads of other ones.. lol being in the raf opens your eyes to things..
in a recent interview i got asked if i watch porn and had i seen any gay porn.. i had to reply.. do shemales include.. what about 2 men in the same hole.. i said.. im in the raf.. you walk in to peoples rooms and porn is just on in the background..
walking in on someone shagging is more a laugh than embarrasement too..
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im sure there are loads of other ones.. lol being in the raf opens your eyes to things..
in a recent interview i got asked if i watch porn and had i seen any gay porn.. i had to reply.. do shemales include.. what about 2 men in the same hole.. i said.. im in the raf.. you walk in to peoples rooms and porn is just on in the background..
walking in on someone shagging is more a laugh than embarrasement too..
what was that for?!
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higher level of security clearance.. they just do background checks etc.. so ask you questions to see if you lie about it..
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Licked a girls asshole :laugh:
+1 :drool:
+2 lol. im durty like that but she didnt like it :embarassed: lol
Why. Why would you lick a hole where waste comes out of? If you could, would you lick your own asshole?
if it looked as inviting as hers did i might but i doubt it does... :laugh:
Well if its maintained and "mint con " just like the front well its just as temping !
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had a poo in my ex girlfriends new boyfriends trainer (drunk). took the time to find a carrier bag so i could push it into the toe part, i dont know the outcome but me and my mates had a good laugh about it for a long time! my ex girlfriend soon stopped speaking to me though........wonder why?! :grin: :grin:
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
My thoughts exactly. :shocked:
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Went out on probably the most alcohol fueled night ever. Let me elaborate;
I was about 19, and decided to go for a pint with a mate. The pint was shortly followed by some cans back at his, followed by bottle of red wine, half a bottle of pimms each (:sick:) and finally a bottle of white. I was ill to say the least. Took me about an hour to manage a 10 minute walk to my house. I was living with my mum at the time, and she found me sleeping on the front room floor, in a pool of sick.. so she ushered me upstairs. She again woke me up when she found me sleeping around the bannister, half on the landing and half on the stairs. Finally made it to bed. SORTED.
Not so.. My lovely mum decided that she needed to clean the sick up from the floor/leather sofa, so she did. After cleaning the sick up, she slumped back into the sofa, and there was a pocket of sick inbetween the seat cushons, which flew up and covered her.
I GOT BOLLO*KED.
Sorry about the long post, but I felt it was a story that needed detail. :laugh:
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Right, i feel sick now. :sick: Funny tho. Thats what mums are for hey? :smiley:
Dirty Bastard! :cool:
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Licked a girls asshole :laugh:
+1 :drool:
+2 lol. im durty like that but she didnt like it :embarassed: lol
Why. Why would you lick a hole where waste comes out of? If you could, would you lick your own asshole?
if it looked as inviting as hers did i might but i doubt it does... :laugh:
Well if its maintained and "mint con " just like the front well its just as temping !
(http://s226.photobucket.com/albums/dd9/VR6Lee/29.gif)
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Well me and a load of mates went to our friends party. Must of been 18 can't really remember. Any way friend of mine came walking over looking very green. He started to be sick, it was going everywhere, so I gave him a empty pint glass to be sick in :wink: Well I started walking around offering this pint of sick to people. No one drank from it, but very close couple of times. I then walked up to one mate and offered it to him, where he then said "I will give you £20 if you have some" So I looked at it, said to myself "don't think about it, just do it!" took a mouth fall and swallowed it. It was the worse sick thing I have done!!!!! It was still warm, it was lumpy and the taste was f**king rank! My mate then grabbed it out my hand and had a mouth fall too. He then said "I aint giving you money now cuz I just had some" Thought you thingy, but was funny.
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:laugh:
You sick fucks :sick:
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When we was all in school one of our mates was very fat and would do anything for food, or money to get food. Well we got him to drink fairy liquid, that made him sick. He drank the pond water many times, best bit was because he drank it so many times the money went down, or he had to drink more. two pints was the most he ever done. Best one was for a fiver, he had to drink a half cup of orange juice, well god knows how long it was sitting there, but all on the top was mouldy.
He had a bbq once and I saw my mate grab a hotdog bun and went in the toilet. As he walked out I said what you done, he opened it and showed me. I couldn't stop laughing, he then gave to our other mate who was cooking all the meat. He knew what happened, I think it was his idea, cuz he kept a straight face. He then put a sausage in it and gave it to a mate. Yes he ate it all, He got grilled for a very long time!! And he still says it didn't have cum in it hahahaha
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on a stag do got plastered then get to hotel with the rest of the guys.
few of us go back to the room and take it in turns to go to the toilet and wank off and leave our hot sticky love pi$$ in a cup. once we were all done we then poured it into a johnny then hooked it up on the bunk bed where the stag was gunna be sleeping
we then pricked it afew times to let it dribble out. the stag was that smashed he didnt even realise, woke up with a facial haha
could have been better if we had shaved our pubes and thrown them onto his face in the morning or thru the night ...monkey face
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to be honest im sure all of you have done many dirty things that you just cant remember.
some of the funniest ones i can remember is the pube splif, puking over the bar onto the barmaid, pull the pig (but go all the way) etc. none of those were me but mates.
funnyist one i did. i was soooo drunk and a girl at a party passed out and piss her self in the middle of the room. i wonder in, mutter something like "if shes drunk enough to piss her self i can piss on her". whop out my cock and take a long beer piss on her. then stumble off :grin:
i dont remember doing this but ive been told from many different people. funny sh!t
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I have laughed so much at is thread. keep the storys coming.
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I once woke up with a flattened, 6 month old rotting rat on my chest with a dildo in my mouth. looked up and two of my mates where standing over me pissing themselfs. Spat the dildo out and said whats the f**king smell. I then found the rat, it was as thick as paper, stunk so bad I had to throw my top in the bin and have a shower straight away.
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I got sh!tfaced in Malia last year, went for a swim to a local island (with a few mates and lasses) got back to the beach, shorts were gone. So i walked back to the hotel in nothing but my boxers. Realised i didn't have the keys so fell asleep ouside the door, curled up covered in sand.
Next day, down by the pool a few girls said, "are you the guy who was passed out, outside his room?" I replied, Yeah. They said, "O great! our mate stuck his cock on your forehead and took a picture"
Not a proud moment, but did make a cool Facebook profile pic for some time :D
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OMG.. how could I forget this one!!!
Goes back to when I was about 16/17 and used to go play football with a bunch of mates every Friday evening. After we had finished our game, a group of us would always get together and smoke/drink for a couple of hours then go to our local sit-in takeaway for some grub. After a couple of drinks and big fat biftas the group would always naturally break up into smaller groups as we made our way there.
On this occasion the group of friends I was with got to the take away first (which was split into 2 rooms) so we occupied the back room where the owner would let us drink and smoke. Anyway one of the smoker lads had lost his big bag of green stuff so we knew he would come and join us in the back room (he wasnt liked very much this lad :lipsrsealed:).
With it being early November one of the lads has a couple of loose bangers with him, so those of you remember bangers will probably remember the 'genie'. Which involves emptying out the contents and lighting them to give a geniee effect (you can probably see where I'm going with this :grin:). Anyway we built a nice big fat one ensured the middle of the contents contained a nice generous helping of black power :wink:
This actually proved to be a smart move as when he was handed the unlit joint he refused to light it sighting something suspisious about it. Think it may have been me pi$$ing myself in the corner :grin:. The roller then sparked it up and took a few big pulls before passing it back over to him... with every drag the 4 of us were stitches.. saying that we were laughing about something that had happened earlier.
Now I probably wouldnt ever do this again now knowing how dangerous it could be, but at the time fuelled by a few MD20/20's and washed down with a couple of Super 'T's its easy to go along with.... but when he took that last pull it really did take us all by suprise. :grin: :grin: :grin:
After the smoke cleared he had what looked like a little scrap of paper in his hand and the most shocking look on anyones face you could ever imagine!! which remained for a good 30sec before he snapped out of it.
That was some seriously funny sh1t even if i do say so myself... probably up there with one of the best I have done!! :grin: :laugh: :grin:
p.s. Dont try that at home kids :wink:
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haha, i love this thread, some very funny stuff coming out here lol :evil:
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:grin: :grin: ha ha R32's post reminded me of when me and my mate bought some fireworks when we were about 15. We got some big 4rse bangers with solid fuses and some airbomb rockets and went under Clacton Pier to set them off. And found a whole load of dead fish which the fishermen had left there.
Fish + Big Solid-fuse Banger stuffed in its mouth as far as it will go (all the way in) + lighter = F*cking mess. Fish + Airbomb rocket + lighter = one of the funniest and messiest things I've seen in a long time. We also depth-charged the ornamental fishpond in the gardens on the top promenade. Stunned fish really do float to the surface!!!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
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sh!t in a Milk bottle
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Was VERY ill once on my way back from school, and literally had to jump over a train station fence to answer the call of nature. Used my maths book as loo paper. Good choice I reckon.
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Oh yeah i once went for a desprate sh!t an a McDonalds toilet. I was so happy to get in there i forgot golden rule number one. Check for loo roll. Anyway being on the way to a wedding, luckily had a hankerchief in my pocket.
I used it and left it on the seat for the dozy barsteward who forgot to refill the toilet roll dispenser last night!! :grin: :evil:
I know... im bad.
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Mr Bounces story reminds me of one....
Me and a few friends got a load of fireworks and were setting them off in random places for sh!ts and giggles, anyway we came up with the idea of putting one in a dog poo bin, so we lit it, chucked it in, then all ran behind the car and watched the thing explode! :laugh: Probably helped it was at night and on top of a hill but that thing was spectacular!
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Mr Bounces story reminds me of one....
Me and a few friends got a load of fireworks and were setting them off in random places for sh!ts and giggles, anyway we came up with the idea of putting one in a dog poo bin, so we lit it, chucked it in, then all ran behind the car and watched the thing explode! :laugh: Probably helped it was at night and on top of a hill but that thing was spectacular!
MacDonalds thick shake goes a long way with a banger in it... Don't be nearby - it's very messy! :laugh:
And red phone boxes get their windows blown out if you put a banger in a coke can and shut the door...
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Small wooden letter boxes dont deal too well with airbombs either... Stand well back!!
p.s. dont be fooled by the initial bang either, thats just the airbomb being fired :laugh: Its the second one you want to stand back from!
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Normally I wouldn't join with a thread like this but seeing as someone actually fessed up to fingering their own bumhole (you sir, are a very bad man) it would be rude not to contribute.........
In at number 3...... getting pissed with my mate on a questionable tia maria and coke coctail then hurling a spicy chicken pizza down the bedroom wall. Then going to bed and not clearing it up until the next day.
And at number 2..... playing tennis with someone as a child but using a dead frog instead of a ball.
The undisputed number one..... fingering my ex-girlfriend when she was on her period. I'm not proud of it. :sick:
Worthy of a mention - getting a hand job from my best mate's sister when he was asleep in the same room. When I told him about he wa surprisingly good about it. Mind you he still doesn't know that I repaid the favour. :wink:
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The undisputed number one..... fingering my ex-girlfriend when she was on her period. I'm not proud of it. :sick:
Tbh I think most of the blokes on this site have tried sex/foreplay (wouldn't do foreplay personally) during that time of the month, they just don't admit it.
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i wish that was the worst I have done :grin:
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i wish that was the worst I have done :grin:
exactly, tis more pleasurable than disgusting :grin:
tis also messier than pleasurable :laugh:
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Almost forgot. When I was at primary school I used to stop at the shop sometimes and buy some Rhubard and Custard sweets. One f*cker kept hassling me to let him have one so I took one out of the packet and went and wiped it round the rim of one of the bogs, then gave it to him.
He was really grateful for my act of kindness, when in fact he was eating a sweet with someone elses piss on it.
I almost felt bad. Almost.
That still ain't as bad as fingering your own bum hole though......................... :grin:
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Worthy of a mention - getting a hand job from my best mate's sister when he was asleep in the same room. When I told him about he wa surprisingly good about it. Mind you he still doesn't know that I repaid the favour. :wink:
you gave him a handjob when his sister was asleep? :huh:
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got another couple for you performed by my mate who is now a responsible fireperson
1, back in 1984 when me and me best mate were on leave from the army we used to stay at his mums place in maidstone and after many nights on the piss we decided it would be a good idea to sh!t on a cashpoint :huh:
and see the reaction
in them days you used to get a panel that slid back after inserting your card so you could enter you pin
so me mate has a crap in a plastic bag at home and off we goes, on the bus to maidstone town centre, put a card in and then emptied his log onto the machine, removed his card, panel slides back and we sit on a bench opposite for the fun to begin :grin: :grin:
we were p!ssing ourselves laughing for an hour until we fooked off to the pub :grin:
2, when above mate was in training at catterick he got a bad case of constipation, after visiting M.O. he got meds to make him crap like anything, but this fella he was in training with was taking the p!ss mercilessly as he had to stay in bed
so while this piss taking fella went off for a 5mile run my mate went for a crap and took the fellas bottle of coke and wiped the rim round his arse and put the top back on
about an hour later when p!sstaker came back gasping for a drink he takes a big swig from his bottle and the pulls a hair out of his teeth :sick:
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One of my mates picked up a used condom in a shop doorway, undone the knot, and and swallowed the contents. :sick:
The same lad also stuck his finger up a dogs arse, and sucked his finger after. :sick:
er no way
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There are some sick f@cks out there, including half of you lot :sick:
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Did a search for two girls and one cup............. never again :lipsrsealed:
Curisoity did kill the cat that time! :sick:
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Worthy of a mention - getting a hand job from my best mate's sister when he was asleep in the same room. When I told him about he wa surprisingly good about it. Mind you he still doesn't know that I repaid the favour. :wink:
you gave him a handjob when his sister was asleep? :huh:
hahahahahahahah!!!!!!!
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Worthy of a mention - getting a hand job from my best mate's sister when he was asleep in the same room. When I told him about he wa surprisingly good about it. Mind you he still doesn't know that I repaid the favour. :wink:
you gave him a handjob when his sister was asleep? :huh:
hahahahahahahah!!!!!!!
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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You bunch of barstewards. :sad:
Even if I had given my best mate a handjob (which I didn't - lets justs clarify that), it still wouldn't be as bad as fingering my own bumhole............. :grin:
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i'm not sure... i would rather finger my own bumhole than give my best mate a handjob :lipsrsealed:
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i'm not sure... i would rather finger my own bumhole than give my best mate a handjob :lipsrsealed:
Agreed.
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i'm not sure... i would rather finger my own bumhole than give my best mate a handjob :lipsrsealed:
Agreed.
+2.... although finger up my own ass is still just the lesser of two really bad things... haha!
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gotta say ( and i have done some dodgy stuff ) popping a finger up ones own bottom wins hands down compared to tossing a mate off.
and ya mates sister pppfffttt. try ya mates mum :afro:
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gotta say ( and i have done some dodgy stuff ) popping a finger up ones own bottom wins hands down compared to tossing a mate off.
and ya mates sister pppfffttt. try ya mates mum :afro:
one of my mates is now living with his best mates mum after a 3 month affair that his mate didn't know about!!!! hahaha!!! :grin:
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This thread is genius HAHAHAHHAHAH! YOU f**kD UP PEOPLE!
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Due to the official secrets act I can post all the details.
but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
and to those who said your mum - after 3 years in south wales and the the pleasure of the " valley commandos"
I raise your your mum to " your Gran " :lipsrsealed: :laugh:
Did you ever play freckles ? :laugh:
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Due to the official secrets act I can post all the details.
but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
and to those who said your mum - after 3 years in south wales and the the pleasure of the " valley commandos"
I raise your your mum to " your Gran " :lipsrsealed: :laugh:
Did you ever play freckles ? :laugh:
Official Secrets Act - Sorry No Comment :laugh:
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Same here :laugh: :laugh:,did you ever do the funnel ? :laugh:we once had a yank stay in our mess deck while he was on cross pole,we held him down and poured cider down his big gob :laugh: :laugh:he freaked out screaming No No i`ve heard about that apple stuff :laugh:
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:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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Most disgusting thing I've ever done is what Chuff taking a sh!t! :sick: :evil:
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We knew you were ghey an all Shady but really never took you for having Coprophilia Shady :sick:
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Most disgusting thing I've ever done is what Chuff taking a sh!t! :sick: :evil:
what about getting locked in it afterwards :lipsrsealed: :grin: :grin:
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Most disgusting thing I've ever done is what Chuff taking a sh!t! :sick: :evil:
:grin:
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BUMP!!! ohhh how i had a good laugh!!
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hahaha! wondered if this might pop up again.... :sick:
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hahaha! wondered if this might pop up again.... :sick:
Oh god i think i've heard enough of things popping up places!!.... :sick:
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:grin:
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Loved this topic last time around.
Please don't add some more stories, im disgusted by them morbidly fascinated lol
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Loved this topic last time around.
Please don't add some more stories, im disgusted by them morbidly fascinated lol
lol :sick:
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about 10 years ago when i was about 15/16... NYE i was drunk off a 1ltr bottle of cider.. i had a poo in some bushes and fell in it and i was wearing white jeans....
i got a good hiding off my mum and dad that night :grin:
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hopefully they removed the soiled pants first :grin:
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My mate Simon use to be proper crazzy his nickname was Knobby all the boys had been on the lash and we was all back at his house when his dog walks in and throws up on the floor knobby being slightly mad and pi#sed decides to eat said dog sick :sick: :sick:
My other mate Brad had been out on the p#ss with us goes home and goes to bed then decides to get up and go a p#ss but manages to get the hallway confused with the bathroom so there he is pi#sing up the wall when his dad comes out and shouts at him "What the hell are you doing?" At which point Brad has turned round still in mid flow and pis#es all over his dads feet :laugh: :laugh:
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about 10 years ago when i was about 15/16... NYE i was drunk off a 1ltr bottle of cider.. i had a poo in some bushes and fell in it and i was wearing white jeans....
i got a good hiding off my mum and dad that night :grin:
I can see why thats discusting. Fashion faux par!!
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about 10 years ago when i was about 15/16... NYE i was drunk off a 1ltr bottle of cider.. i had a poo in some bushes and fell in it and i was wearing white jeans....
i got a good hiding off my mum and dad that night :grin:
I can see why thats discusting. Fashion faux par!!
Hahahahahahaha!!!! thats fcuking awesome!!
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Built a nuclear bomb
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My mate has a habbit of pissing in wierd places when hes drunk. One night he stayed at his gfs house (weekend after he had pissed in her bed) and actually woke up needing a pee. Got out of bed in a daze and god knows where he thought he was but he ended up opening the wardrobe, taking a step in and pissing all over ALL her clothes! :grin:
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i stopped at a mates house years ago. we had won a football tournament and had beer on tap for free all night.
many barrels later ... apparently i got up off his bedroom floor, opened up a drawer and pissed in it haha
i thought he was blagging me when he said but the evidence was there
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Nice work, a draw doenst even resmble the entrance to any kinda bathroom ive ever been in!
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Bump!!!!
I'm sorry but this is so funny i had to bump it up :evil:
I'm sure Shady can add to this! :laugh:
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Bump!!!!
I'm sorry but this is so funny i had to bump it up :evil:
I'm sure Shady can add to this! :laugh:
I already did didn't I? :grin:
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oh god! not this again.. haha!!! :grin:
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Possibly the best thread on the forum :D
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someone should sticky it.. :lipsrsealed: not that it isn't sticky enough already :grin:
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Possibly the best thread on the forum :D
I thank you :cool:
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watersport :lipsrsealed:
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watersport :lipsrsealed:
Someone is clearly a fan of Golden Showers. :grin: :grin: :grin:
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it was ....................... Interesting to say the least
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it was ....................... Interesting to say the least
HAHAHAHA! :grin: There's something you can tell the grandchildren. :tongue:
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or the time when i had my misses in her bay window and 3 couple walked passed , stopped an watched for a good 5 mins before one of them cheerily waved an they all walked off
Or ive been escorting the last couple of months
i dont think ill ever have grand children
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or the time when i had my misses in her bay window and 3 couple walked passed , stopped an watched for a good 5 mins before one of them cheerily waved an they all walked off
Or ive been escorting the last couple of months
i dont think ill ever have grand children
:grin: :grin: :grin:
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:grin: :grin: HAHAHA!!! this thread makes me laugh :grin:
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watersport :lipsrsealed:
I thought this is the norm.. I'm pretty used to getting pissed over in the shower
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watersport :lipsrsealed:
I thought this is the norm.. I'm pretty used to getting pissed over in the shower
haha! :grin:
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Shot dead three baby robins with my Webley air rifle.
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i'm a good god fearing boy so i have never done anything disgusting
however one of the rankest i can think of is a lad at uni who used to down a top optic pint, vomit it back into the glass and then take money to drink it back again, over and over. 1st down 50p in, next £1, so on and so on until he passed out. :grin:
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I knew if i linked this in the other thread it would be resurrected! :laugh: :laugh:
Best thread ever! has to be read from the start!!! :shocked:
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Shared a room with dan_apps
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v92/twior/R-Tech%20Jan%20RR/IMG_0048.jpg)
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On my mates stag do he passed out at 11pm so we did what all good mates would do, took him to a different hotel, plonked him in there spat in a jonny and used a biro to shove it up his arse.
To this day he hasn't mentioned it to anyone, sti things he got bummed
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I ate a load of the cubes out of a Urinal once....... Alcohol related incident. Very, very sick and spent the night in Hospital getting my stomach pumped..............
Ahh, the good old days of being a student :undecided:
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Burst, emptied and flushed out an abcess on a cow's hip.
Basically a huge spot filled with two litres of lumpy, liquified flesh and pus, which I then washed out with a garden hose.
Oh and removed many cases of 'retained afterbirth' in cows - that's where the placenta doesn't let go, so the whole thing sits there until it's gone off sufficiently that it comes out with a tug. That is the definition of stench.
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I ate a load of the cubes out of a Urinal once....... Alcohol related incident. Very, very sick and spent the night in Hospital getting my stomach pumped..............
Ahh, the good old days of being a student :undecided:
just how stupid are you? :huh:
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On my mates stag do he passed out at 11pm so we did what all good mates would do, took him to a different hotel, plonked him in there spat in a jonny and used a biro to shove it up his arse.
To this day he hasn't mentioned it to anyone, sti things he got bummed
That... My friend... Is genius...Pure GENIUS!!
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I ate a load of the cubes out of a Urinal once....... Alcohol related incident. Very, very sick and spent the night in Hospital getting my stomach pumped..............
Ahh, the good old days of being a student :undecided:
just how stupid are you? :huh:
LOL!! Yeah, tell me about it, thought I was dying at the time. Still, 24years on, I've learnt my lesson.
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I ate a load of the cubes out of a Urinal once....... Alcohol related incident. Very, very sick and spent the night in Hospital getting my stomach pumped..............
Ahh, the good old days of being a student :undecided:
just how stupid are you? :huh:
LOL!! Yeah, tell me about it, thought I was dying at the time. Still, 24years on, I've learnt my lesson.
hmmm... this is a lesson that most people don't need 24 years to learn :undecided:
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I once went down on a girl that had a dirty poopy hole!! :sick:
I must stress i didn't know this before i started :lipsrsealed:
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I once went down on a girl that had a dirty poopy hole!! :sick:
I must stress i didn't know this before i started :lipsrsealed:
:grin:
Urrrrr thats disgusting man!! :shocked:
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I once went down on a girl that had a dirty poopy hole!! :sick:
I must stress i didn't know this before i started :lipsrsealed:
looks like the old "dip test" needs some modification to cover the dirty non-wipers :grin:
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So does that meani "win" this thread? :embarassed:
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Year before last I woke up in the early hours after a very heavy night out and did the biggest wee of all time on the landing.
I woke up the next day and went downstairs to find towels all over the kitchen surfaces and all over the floor and thought "hmmmm, how odd". A very unimpressed mother brought it to light that someone had p!ssed all over the landing the night before and it had soaked through and started dripping from the kitchen ceiling :sick:
I wasnt very popular
-
So does that meani "win" this thread? :embarassed:
Not a chance, read through this entire thread. You'll laugh so hard that you might end up posting back in here due to uncontrollable body fluids!
-
I f**ked this fat chick for a bet once:
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-sjc1/hs195.snc3/20254_237660091573_733336573_3833791_7263591_n.jpg)
She has a VW polo, Chances are she might see this.
Anyway, it was a bet, my buddy and me where late teens at the time and playing whore bingo, He had jailbait left on his and i had fat chick, it was a race to see who could finish the line first, I knew this girl was hot for me so i called her up and she was drunk on a night out, so anyway, i pick her up and take her back to her place and suddenly get cold feet looking at her giant ass, So i call my friend who lives in the area to ask her to help me out and the b!tch doesnt answer, She still has the abusive voicemail i left from the fat chicks toilet on her phone.
Anyway, i toss the condoms out the window, i figured i could tell her i couldnt rubber up and didnt want a baby and make a quick exit, Thats when she said the imortal lines......'Thats alright love, you can fvck me up the sh1ttaaa!'
So i did, I got her to suck me off and then jammed it in her dirtbox as hard as possible, i didnt want to touch her so i was pulling on her shirt (i didnt let her get undressed) she was screaming about how much me grabbing her clothes turned her on, I was trying hard not to make pelvis to buttock contact anyway, after about 20minuites i figured that i could at least pass it off as an amature effort and pulled out, grabbed my clothes and just bolted out of the door (after all, i dont like even fat chicks to think im bad in bed!).
I picked my buddy up from a girls house on the way home, he found me sat in my golfs bucket seat with vomit down the door, it was either a combonation of her fat ass or me smoking a 10pack of benson and hedges to relieve the stress of what i had been through, but whatever it was, it caused me to vomit violently down the side of the door.
Turns out he took a 15 year old girl home that night and nailed her silly. my fvcking about in the toilet cost me valuable time and cost me the title of whorebingo 2007. :sad:
(just to redeam my self, this is my current girl for over a year:
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs511.snc3/26858_416059945762_557065762_5897127_5477009_n.jpg)
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hahahahahaha that had me in stiches!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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So does that meani "win" this thread? :embarassed:
Not a chance, read through this entire thread. You'll laugh so hard that you might end up posting back in here due to uncontrollable body fluids!
In a way im glad someone has done something worse than me, :smug: but im aslo slightly desturbed that some people out there have done worse things than getting sh1t on there chin :sick:
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Took a drink of my pint using a used tampon. You work it out. Shiney liney challenge. Got a £1 for doin it
-
So does that meani "win" this thread? :embarassed:
Not a chance, read through this entire thread. You'll laugh so hard that you might end up posting back in here due to uncontrollable body fluids!
In a way im glad someone has done something worse than me, :smug: but im aslo slightly desturbed that some people out there have done worse things than getting sh1t on there chin :sick:
You don't wanna see 2 girls one cup then.
I once took a sh!t in the newspaper boys trolly.
-
bought a ford
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bought a ford
+1 :embarassed: But it is VW powered :smug:
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I f**ked this fat chick for a bet once:
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-sjc1/hs195.snc3/20254_237660091573_733336573_3833791_7263591_n.jpg)
She has a VW polo, Chances are she might see this.
Anyway, it was a bet, my buddy and me where late teens at the time and playing whore bingo, He had jailbait left on his and i had fat chick, it was a race to see who could finish the line first, I knew this girl was hot for me so i called her up and she was drunk on a night out, so anyway, i pick her up and take her back to her place and suddenly get cold feet looking at her giant ass, So i call my friend who lives in the area to ask her to help me out and the b!tch doesnt answer, She still has the abusive voicemail i left from the fat chicks toilet on her phone.
Anyway, i toss the condoms out the window, i figured i could tell her i couldnt rubber up and didnt want a baby and make a quick exit, Thats when she said the imortal lines......'Thats alright love, you can fvck me up the sh1ttaaa!'
So i did, I got her to suck me off and then jammed it in her dirtbox as hard as possible, i didnt want to touch her so i was pulling on her shirt (i didnt let her get undressed) she was screaming about how much me grabbing her clothes turned her on, I was trying hard not to make pelvis to buttock contact anyway, after about 20minuites i figured that i could at least pass it off as an amature effort and pulled out, grabbed my clothes and just bolted out of the door (after all, i dont like even fat chicks to think im bad in bed!).
I picked my buddy up from a girls house on the way home, he found me sat in my golfs bucket seat with vomit down the door, it was either a combonation of her fat ass or me smoking a 10pack of benson and hedges to relieve the stress of what i had been through, but whatever it was, it caused me to vomit violently down the side of the door.
Turns out he took a 15 year old girl home that night and nailed her silly. my fvcking about in the toilet cost me valuable time and cost me the title of whorebingo 2007. :sad:
(just to redeam my self, this is my current girl for over a year:
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs511.snc3/26858_416059945762_557065762_5897127_5477009_n.jpg)
I prefer the top photo.....
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The fat one's got a tash!! arghhh :sick: :sick:
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To be fair the top one is less fat, more chubby.
nick
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imo its same chick, just been on a diet :wink:
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To be fair the top one is less fat, more chubby.
nick
more cushion for the pushin :undecided:
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I dont even think shes that fat?! :lipsrsealed: Ive definately done worse anyway. :grin:
Anyway,most disgusting thing ive done - couldnt get my key in the door when i got home from the pub the other week and in my state, desperate for a dump, managed to get my trousers half down before releasing. Half on the wall of my house and half down my skanks - lovely!! Needless to say the mrs found it hilarious.
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found some laxatives at a friends house years ago when i was little, put them in his mums and dads cuppa's :grin:
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bought a ford
+1 :embarassed: But it is VW powered :smug:
v6 galaxy? :laugh:
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To be fair the top one is less fat, more chubby.
nick
more cushion for the pushin :undecided:
More rump for the pump!! :smiley:
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She's not fat, she's big boned.
Anyway, fat birds try harder.
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or they let you smash the backdoors......... either way, its win
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prefer the look of the top lass to the bottom lass.. :undecided:
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gotta agree wiv ya there guy the top bird looks like fun but the bottom looks like hassle :huh:
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I f**ked this fat chick for a bet once:
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-sjc1/hs195.snc3/20254_237660091573_733336573_3833791_7263591_n.jpg)
I love how you still have the picture :D Quality, she looks like she likes it in the $$$h111tttaaaa
Me and my friends have done/had terrible things done to us!
1) My brother was teabagged by a guy while he was sleeping on a flight back from thailand.. Needless to say he woke up with a set of nuts in his mouth :sick:
2) Had a pull a pig night! We all had some munters and then my friend takes it one step further and strolls down the garden path with a a fat chick in a wheel chair :grin: :laugh: :grin:
On a tangent, its ok if a girl rams a finger in YOUR backdoor though right?!? :huh:
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One of my mates had to pull a dead foetus out of a woman.
Then he had to go back in to get an arm!
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You didnt want to make pelvis to buttock contact?
You have your bare cock up her ass...
I wouldn't have gone there in the first place mate.
james
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One of my mates had to pull a dead foetus out of a woman.
Then he had to go back in to get an arm!
Disgusting things, not creepy :grin:
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great thread.
i used to work as a lowly office junior and was obviously responsible for the tea making duties. we each had our own mugs. one of the guys was a complete arse. he would go out of his way to upset people.
anyway, i did a multitude of things to his mug. pissed in it, put it down the toilet, spat in it, wiped my sweaty pit on the rim. thought about doing a sanchez on it but unlike others on this thread, i do draw the line at sticking my finger up am arse.
btw fielder, she looks alright to me (apart from the tash)
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great thread.
i used to work as a lowly office junior and was obviously responsible for the tea making duties. we each had our own mugs. one of the guys was a complete arse. he would go out of his way to upset people.
anyway, i did a multitude of things to his mug. pissed in it, put it down the toilet, spat in it, wiped my sweaty pit on the rim. thought about doing a sanchez on it but unlike others on this thread, i do draw the line at sticking my finger up am arse.
btw fielder, she looks alright to me (apart from the tash)
you could always stick your finger up someone else's arse and then sanchez it?
just a thought like :lipsrsealed:
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sadly your advice comes 8 years too late
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Most Disgusting thing i have ever...
Said
Chattin to a hot but rather flat chested girl at the bar who thought far too much of herself. So i asked her 'if you didnt have any feet would you wear socks?' she replied 'obviously not'. So I said 'then why the f**k are you wearing a bra?
Most Disgusting yet best night out in a while...
Back at uni and i was not planning on going out and felt it was neccesary to have a "quiet one" , numberous litres of Rum and enough class B's to kill a pony i find my self in a club. I wake up the next afternoon i and my friends have no memory of how i got home. i search my phone for clues.To discover a mystery number.. i text it " I found you sleeping outside the club so i paid for your taxi home your dick was out"
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i search my phone for clues.To discover a mystery number.. i text it " I found you sleeping outside the club so i paid for your taxi home your dick was out"
oh it was you, thanks for that dude!!!!
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your dick was out"
I didn't find this disgusting until I see your email address.....then I was confused and intrigued....
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your dick was out"
I didn't find this disgusting until I see your email address.....then I was confused and intrigued....
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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Ive done lots - so ill just tell you the latest one.
Yesterday was round the local pub with a few mates drinking playing pool.
On 1 game i broke off potted all my yellows and had black left for a 7 baller.
So to take the p!$$ i dropped my jeans and pants and went to pot black.
The fella that i was playing, thought i was cheeky so poked the butt of his cue up my ar$e
Felt nice :lipsrsealed: :grin:
But i still potted the black.
Now the fella a bit gutted being 7 balled went of to the toilet (probably to pull his self the w@nker)
Now having a butt of a pool cue up my ar$e was quite amusing to the pub - So to make it more interesting i then picked up
The cue and put the end in the fellas pint :evil:
2 minutes later the fella comes out the toilet and downs his pint
The pub errupted in laughter and the fella Fcukd off
What will i get up to today :smiley:
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To be fair the top one is less fat, more chubby.
nick
I damand sweet size 6-8 prefection lol :grin: You have to be THIS thin to ride the Field-myster lol
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long story short....
Head of Sixth forms name was Susan, I used this email address for applying to university and jobs...
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Going back to the uni days....
Was out on the lash one night, lost my house keys, woke my girlfriend (and all her housemates) up at 4am demanding somewhere to stay. Woke up at 5am feeling ill, promptly threw up all over my girlfriend and her bed (somehow managed to avoid getting it on myself! :smiley:). I then proceeded to pass out leaving my girlfriend to clean it all up....needless to say I wasn't too popular the next day :grin: :grin:
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girlfriends mother saw my cock... with her daughters hand attached to it.
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on holiday a few years ago with my mates and someone kept eating my choc hobnobs :angry:..... so knocked one off and spunked in the tube of biscuits!!
next day they were all one but no-one owned up to it :grin:
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My friends and I no longer use the /10 rating system, we use the beer rating system, which in essence is how many pints will it take to make someone attractive. We were rating girls in a club when one overhears us giving her a 10. She seemed pleased until we explained and consequently gave me a slap.
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hmm been on true lad tease?
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Miley cirus
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my mate can suck himself off.
he's not shy about it either.
same mate needed a number 2 when out on a night out. sadly there was no tiolet roll in the gents so he went to the bar to ask for some.
barman said there wasnt any so out of protest he shat in the girsl sink (nob)
anyway, midsh!t a girl comes out of her cubicle, see's my mate and premptly gets off with him, mid sh1t.
wrong on many levels
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your mum
-
your mum
disgusting not dirty :undecided:
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Me and my friends are TrueLad...
A degree in Motorsport Engineering £35,000
Building a Website with your friends to show the world what your to
Scared/Ashamed to put on Facebook or just bring up in normal conversation PRICELESS
-
I got my girlfriend to agree to give me a blumpkin, Not got round to it yet, It's pretty serious and i dont know if i will be able to look at her the same way again after that :grin:
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I got my girlfriend to agree to give me a blumpkin, Not got round to it yet, It's pretty serious and i dont know if i will be able to look at her the same way again after that :grin:
Dude!!! if you do that you are a true hero!!
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While living in amsterdam,
Had been out on the pi$$, curry's, kebabs and class a's for 3-4 days with couple of mates,
me and "joe" decided to head back to my place for a few spliffs and a nosh up.
Unknown to me as i'd been gone for days my landlady at the time was having a new toilet fitted, so in our bathroom there were 2 toilet bowl's..
One plumbed in, one not....
After a spliff "joe" feels a bit queasy and promptly goes to the toilet to be sick..
makes it all the way to the toilet(good on him) puke's....sh!ts(3 day beer sh!t) and pisses in the unplumbed toilet.
Didnt say a word!!!!, called a taxi and he headed home.
next morning!!!oh i was in trouble!!
hungover, angry dutch landlady and a pile of pi$$,puke and poo to clean!!
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Resurrection of this thread FTW :grin:
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Ha I love this thread! So gross! :D
-
While living in amsterdam,
Had been out on the pi$$, curry's, kebabs and class a's for 3-4 days with couple of mates,
me and "joe" decided to head back to my place for a few spliffs and a nosh up.
Unknown to me as i'd been gone for days my landlady at the time was having a new toilet fitted, so in our bathroom there were 2 toilet bowl's..
One plumbed in, one not....
After a spliff "joe" feels a bit queasy and promptly goes to the toilet to be sick..
makes it all the way to the toilet(good on him) puke's....sh!ts(3 day beer sh!t) and pisses in the unplumbed toilet.
Didnt say a word!!!!, called a taxi and he headed home.
next morning!!!oh i was in trouble!!
hungover, angry dutch landlady and a pile of pi$$,puke and poo to clean!!
:sick:
My mate was destroyed last week, he sh!t the bed!
He also shat on a box of our mates family photos and ruined them, and a well expensive duck feather quilt. :shocked:
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go back to the first few pages where i can't remember who , but someone accidentally shoves a finger up thier 5hitty ar5e. :laugh:
EDIT : it was Toro - http://www.golfgtiforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=115721.msg1012542#msg1012542
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chattin to a bird in a night club then went back to hers, as we got out the taxi i realised it was a mates house! ran a mile hahah looking back i should have gone in and f**ked her but that may have caused problems :grin:
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My mate and I where out in town some years ago and he pulled this girl with flid legs took her home and Fu@ked her and one time we where out he pulled another bird took her to this park knobed her and went down on her she was on the blob he met us in the chippy later with a bloody beard around his face he is one sick Fu@ker I could probably go on all day adout him lol :sick:
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^ thats rough, but my cuppa soup is all over he laptop now lmao :D
-
my mate was brewing a sh!t throughout the whole of reading festival because he didnt want to use the gammy toilets. On the last day he shat in my mates saucepan and left it in his tent, when the guy found it he brought it out stuck it in the middle of a busy path with a sh!tty old radio on top of it playing music
we waited and watched... To the person who took that radio your face made our camp one of the happiest for HOURS
:grin:
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Its prob not the worst thing i have done intensionally but more of an accident!
When I was a fair few years younger and sleeker I went to play football in the rain on a muddy field! I quite fancied myself as a young peter schemical, anyway to cut a long story short I had no goal keeping gloves, went for a save and stuck my hand in the biggest warmest dog turd ever! Needless to say my football career ended that day!
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There is a fair few new members since this, let the posting commence!! :evil:
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:D you legend!!
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oh dear.... This sh!t again... hahaha!! Some pretty rotten stuff in here! :grin:
brings back the memory of brown digit...
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:D
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some say he still roams the forum...
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Invited some Irish lads back to mine after a night clubbing, and one of them fell asleep so we absolutely terrorised him... One of his mates stuck his cock in the lad's mouth and took pics....which were promptly put on Facebook and his Mum (a devout catholic) was tagged in every single one of them.... and they did the same as someone said above, spat in a condom and poked it up his arse...photos also on facebook. I think he's been disowned :/
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And my old lodger was a borderline alcoholic, so we got him hammered and dared him to drink two drinks... for the first one it was a pint, and it contained:
"Colon Blow" Xtra Hot Chilli Sauce, BBQ Sauce, Crushed Wotsits, Cold pre-cooked baked beans, Mouthwash, Herbs & spices, Hot Chocolate Powder, Lemonade, Budweiser, Milk, and had a topping of Squirty Cream topped with Chocolate Sprinkles and bits of Burger (I have video evidence) he downed the it in two or three attempts before vomiting....
We also made him drink another concoction in a sherry glass which had the same kind of ingredients but some mustard, plum tomato, and some other bits too.... Needless to say he spewed all over the alleyway down the side of the house....and when he was hanging out his a*se in the morning, I made him go and clean it up...and he vomited again....repeatedly.
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Also dared my mate Steve (while drunk) to down a jug of day old gravy.......and he did it. He wasn't sick, but I was!
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Oh and another one of my lodgers (female) and I used to go out on the razz probably 5 nights a week, and drink our own bodyweight in vodka.....well she used to get so hammered she'd just pass out....numerous times I'd poured water on her mattress and she woke, thinking she'd got so drunk she'd wet the bed...She'd come downstairs red-faced and teary eyed every time...she even went to the doctors about it! Needless to say she's too scared to get drunk now she's married!
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But my personal one, I drank so much in my local nightclub that I threw up against someone's wall of their house after I left, beforehand I'd been sending the usual drunken booty-call texts...and after being sick I had a reply, someone was on their way to my house...so I jumped in a taxi, bit of a chewing gum...and went back to mine and did the inevitable... When I woke up the next morning I didn't realise that where I'd thrown up so much liquid it was all over my shoes and in my handbag but the bootycall hadn't even noticed even though all I could taste and smell when I woke up the next day was puke! When they got home, they text me saying someone had thrown up all down their wall and their front door.... :evil:
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I got caught short in a scrapyard and took a dump in the boot of a metro.
Wiped my arse on the seat, jobs a good'un.
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My mate and I where out in town some years ago and he pulled this girl with flid legs took her home and Fu@ked her and one time we where out he pulled another bird took her to this park knobed her and went down on her she was on the blob he met us in the chippy later with a bloody beard around his face he is one sick Fu@ker I could probably go on all day adout him lol :sick:
typical cov lad lmao he's name isnt martin by any chance is it? lol
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Yes! I love this thread! Well done Wherry :afro:
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Right, this real sick so beware. I have read through this before but havent posted but now think what the hell.
When i was 18, been sleeping with girls for a few years, but hadnt received my 'brown wings'. All my mates were talking about how good it was, i had to try and persuade my missus at the time. Weeks of telling her how much i wanted to do this, finally got me my own way!
So the night comes and were shagging normally, i reach over and pump some lube onto my index finger and gently slip it up her arse to stretch it abit before entry, only to find my finger is not alone! :huh:
Not being one to give up easily, i should have stopped here but didnt, i wanted them wings :undecided:. I bent her over and slipped it in the wrong'un and had my wicked way, dont know how i managed as the sensation was weird :laugh: but i finished up inside it, withdrew my manhood from her now stretched hole, which was then closely followed by a man-fat covered log :sick: :sick: :sick:
Can anyone compete with this?
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not a patch on the above but I was out one evening drinking heavily with my mate and I felt a bit ill so I decided to go walkabout. Found a nice bit of car park, proceeded to be violently sick everywhere then laid in it all and passed out.
My missus and sister found me about an hour later thinking I was dead.
They said they have never seen so much sick from one person. Got up next morning, DROVE to work (something I happily admit to be ashamed of and would never do again) then told everyone to leave me alone for a few hours (Duty Managers perks). Had a Maccy D's at lunch time then was right as rain for the rest of the day :embarassed:
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Oh and another one of my lodgers (female) and I used to go out on the razz probably 5 nights a week, and drink our own bodyweight in vodka.....well she used to get so hammered she'd just pass out....numerous times I'd poured water on her mattress and she woke, thinking she'd got so drunk she'd wet the bed...She'd come downstairs red-faced and teary eyed every time...she even went to the doctors about it! Needless to say she's too scared to get drunk now she's married!
harsh but funny
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Yes! I love this thread! Well done Wherry :afro:
Free bump just for you, gotta be more stories since!
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Drove around in a Saab diesel for a just over a week the other week and rather liked it .
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17th birthday, got mortal, went to bed, got up in night, went to toilet but threw up on the way and covered the landing, made it to toilet, finished off spewing, walked back to bed and went back to sleep, didnt realise id walked back through sick and had covered everywhere.
sickest i did (drunk, seeing a pattern here?) went down on a woman (cant remember her name, she was as drunk as i was ) at a mates house, managed to get a big clot of blood in my mouth (she didnt tell me she was on, i think) so me thinking i was funny went back downstairs and put it on a plate in the kitchen table. mates thought it was sick but funny, we cooked the clot and put it on another mates bacon sandwich in the morning, now that i did get a kicking for!
thank god ive grown up now
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I just bought a Tigaun :rolleyes:
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I just bought a Tigaun :rolleyes:
Ive seen people banned for less.
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I just bought a Tigaun :rolleyes:
Ive seen people banned for less.
Just until the mk7 arrives Al , its on order 2 yrs time when Vw get there sh!t together :rolleyes:
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I just bought a Tigaun :rolleyes:
Ive seen people banned for less.
Just until the mk7 arrives Al , its on order 2 yrs time when Vw get there sh!t together :rolleyes:
Don't you mean the MK6? :rolleyes:
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Bump, can't let this thread die!
Best thread ever!!!!!!!!!!!! :grin:
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Used the loo at Glastonbury
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I'll always re bump this, i'll never forget it!
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Lots of new members to spill the beans too :grin:
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:laugh: Brilliant thread. Not got round to reading all of it yet so this may have already been covered.
A mate of mine who is a bit like Ballotelli i.e. "Why always me??!!" once brought a bird home. He decided to give her a right good tonging on the sofa before taking her to bed to finish her off.
Another mate and me awoke in the morning to find a large red stain on the sofa that hadn't been there before!
The best part is that she very clearly made no attempt to advise my obliging friend that it was the "wrong" time of the month!!! :grin:
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pulled out and found sweetcorn on the end of it :embarassed:
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Man... Your boyfriend must have been sooo embarrassed.
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Fingered my bumhole.
......and we're just letting this go with no comment are we? :huh:
suprising that no one cares! ...where's sharpie?
:huh: indeed we need answers here ToRo!
Well I was drunk and I kinda slipped off my toilet mid wipe?
hahahaha :grin: :grin: :grin: thats funny!
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Had an "accident" when I've had far far far too many................................on a couple of occasions. :lipsrsealed:
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Got off with a lass from school at a house party, then barfed all over her. Shame as she was tidy.
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What ever the f**k it was i tried to shag last night. dont even think she was human! Munterhunter!
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What ever the f**k it was i tried to shag last night. dont even think she was human! Munterhunter!
:grin: :grin: was some1 with a fat chick last night :grin:
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What ever the f**k it was i tried to shag last night. dont even think she was human! Munterhunter!
:grin: :grin: was some1 with a fat chick last night :grin:
To be fair there wasn't much on telly.. :grin:
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What ever the f**k it was i tried to shag last night. dont even think she was human! Munterhunter!
:grin: :grin: was some1 with a fat chick last night :grin:
bit too much free champagne. :grin:
made up for it by getting with some minter though at the end of the night :grin:
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What ever the f**k it was i tried to shag last night. dont even think she was human! Munterhunter!
:grin: :grin: was some1 with a fat chick last night :grin:
bit too much free champagne. :grin:
made up for it by getting with some monster though at the end of the night :grin:
did she have a rear like a number 15
(http://i1210.photobucket.com/albums/cc419/barrym381/stock-photo-4560152-red-london-double-decker-bus.jpg)
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Not sure if it is disgusting or just sick....
I was pleasuring this bird at a house party...long story short she fell asleep. But I didn't realise and kept on going for about 5minutes before I realised :sad: :lipsrsealed:
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Not sure if it is disgusting or just sick....
I was pleasuring this bird at a house party...long story short she fell asleep. But I didn't realise and kept on going for about 5minutes before I realised :sad: :lipsrsealed:
that mate is just :sick: :sick: no means no :grin: :grin:
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my god there are a lot of males with serious issues on this site.... i would never ever admit to having done even the less harsh stuff.. biros up bums.. soggy biscuites??
nutters!!!
:laugh: :grin:
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Not sure if it is disgusting or just sick....
I was pleasuring this bird at a house party...long story short she fell asleep. But I didn't realise and kept on going for about 5minutes before I realised :sad: :lipsrsealed:
that mate is just :sick: :sick: no means no :grin: :grin:
I gota set this record straight as it could get bent out of shaped rapidly. It was NOT rape in any sense of the word. The girl actually became my girl a few weeks later and we enjoyed a happy 2 years together...Every cloud has a silver lining see :grin:
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Not sure if it is disgusting or just sick....
I was pleasuring this bird at a house party...long story short she fell asleep. But I didn't realise and kept on going for about 5minutes before I realised :sad: :lipsrsealed:
mustnt have been that good :wink:
never had a girl fall asleep on me, but ive fallen asleep mid way through a blowy before :grin: she wasnt happy in the morning
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Period sex, it got messy, blood everywhere! She was a dirty b!tch though and i was off my pickle at the time, looked like a murder scene when we woke up the following morning! :laugh:
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Period sex, it got messy, blood everywhere! She was a dirty b!tch though and i was off my pickle at the time, looked like a murder scene when we woke up the following morning! :laugh:
I used to call that jetwashing the fanny!
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Period sex, it got messy, blood everywhere! She was a dirty b!tch though and i was off my pickle at the time, looked like a murder scene when we woke up the following morning! :laugh:
I used to call that jetwashing the fanny!
Oh my days, that sh!t is funny!!
Why did you stop? :huh:
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Period sex, it got messy, blood everywhere! She was a dirty b!tch though and i was off my pickle at the time, looked like a murder scene when we woke up the following morning! :laugh:
I used to call that jetwashing the fanny!
Oh my days, that sh!t is funny!!
Why did you stop? :huh:
Marriage. :lipsrsealed:
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Period sex, it got messy, blood everywhere! She was a dirty b!tch though and i was off my pickle at the time, looked like a murder scene when we woke up the following morning! :laugh:
I used to call that jetwashing the fanny!
Oh my days, that sh!t is funny!!
LMFAO! It's true though, once they've reigned you in it's game over for sh1t like that!
Why did you stop? :huh:
Marriage. :lipsrsealed:
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I went to the toilet at Glastonbury
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lol reminds me, at the last ever weston wheels in 05 i think it was, my mate got brutally pi$$ed up and when he was in the portaloo a load of scousers he'd been taking the p1ss out of the night before saw him and pushed the sh1tter over door down, twas a grizzly task getting him out, he passed out upon exiting, covered in sh1te, p1ss and vomit and my mate adz and i had to drag him accross the whole campsite to the oposite end to get him in the shower, was pretty f**ked up at the time but i can't help but laugh now! Good times :grin:
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ex came on her period whilst i was inside her, also farted whilst she had her head in my lap, but that's nothing compared to some of these stories :grin: :grin:
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you farted on her head?! thats awesome, now know how i'm getting my own back on the missus tonight!
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My house mate would really piss me off, so I decided to get my own back on her. I came on her pillow, put weed in her coca-cola, removed all of her posters and drew massive thingyes behind them in permanent marker before replacing them, and put garlic powder in her cereal. The latter was so harsh as she was anorexic and would only eat cereal.
I also threw a half finished chicken carcass under a hall mate's bed after she grassed me up to campus watch for making too much noise during a party.
I also came in a condom and put it in a mate's tea. After he found it I then chased him down the road with it. After he had returned, me, our house mate and his best friend decided to scare him by pretending to have a threesome in his bed. We had got down to our underwear and assumed funny positions before he came into the room. The look on his face was priceless and I then commensed to chase him down the street with the condom again. This time I was still only dressed in boxers and had a brief encounter with a passing police van. Luckily they saw the funny side immediately and all was good.
Not really disgusting, but funny. I had sex with a girl on a boat. Afterwards we wrote on the seat, "P.S. We had sex here, might wanna wash off the cumstain".
I also took a sh!t on a guy's Porsche 911, who we didn't like.
Once I was having sex with my ex in a friend's bathroom. After we had finished, I threw the condom out the window (as you do), thinking nothing of it. It was only when I went to close the window that I realised that it had landed on the window below to her hallmate. Awkward :/
I once threw up mid conversation at a bbq, before swiftly returning to that conversation. To make matters worse, it was onto the actual bbq.
I took a sh!t down a slide in the playpark as a kid
Chundered in a graveyard.....low point to say the least.
Done the period thing a few times.
But I can honestly say that I've never pulled a Toro.
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Living in (scabby) staff accommodation in a hotel where I worked in the 90's...
Got absolutely wasted one night with the bosses son (he was 16 at the time), and he crashed out in the bath in my bathroom. We had literally drunk anything we could get our hands on in a massive game of "pass it round" with several other staff during an illicit/unofficial staff party (the bar manager had raided the cellar for anything they couldn't get rid of liqueur wise and donated it to our party), and this curdled in my stomach quite quickly. I got up halfway through the night, staggered into the bathroom and vomited massively in the bath, forgetting he was there...
Woke up in the morning to go to the loo to find him still asleep covered in a massive technicolour yawn. Woke him up, hosed him off fully dressed with the shower head, leant him some clothes and sent him off to work his shift in the kitchen cleaning pots and pans, with him absolutely hanging. I think he lasted ten minutes before he was out the back being sick.
I got sacked soon after, go figure :grin:
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fingered a bird in in my bedroom. then went down stairs and started eating M&Ms and half way through the packet realised i had period all over my hand and i had been eating it on the M&Ms. :sick:
theres loads of other things iv done but that one seems to stick in my mind :grin:
oh and another one that comes to mind was back in my clubbing days i bought a couple of pills took them. then as i was already wasted i through up. but as i didnt want to wast the pills as it was my last tenna i spent on them i through up in my hands then searched for the pills and ate them again. not proud of that but you did ask :grin:
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oh and another one that comes to mind was back in my clubbing days i bought a couple of pills took them. then as i was already wasted i through up. but as i didnt want to wast the pills as it was my last tenna i spent on them i through up in my hands then searched for the pills and ate them again. not proud of that but you did ask :grin:
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: needed that laugh, class
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oh and another one that comes to mind was back in my clubbing days i bought a couple of pills took them. then as i was already wasted i through up. but as i didnt want to wast the pills as it was my last tenna i spent on them i through up in my hands then searched for the pills and ate them again. not proud of that but you did ask :grin:
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: needed that laugh, class
+1 Thats the best thing i've heard for weeks! :grin:
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oh and another one that comes to mind was back in my clubbing days i bought a couple of pills took them. then as i was already wasted i through up. but as i didnt want to wast the pills as it was my last tenna i spent on them i through up in my hands then searched for the pills and ate them again. not proud of that but you did ask :grin:
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: needed that laugh, class
+1 Thats the best thing i've heard for weeks! :grin:
Brilliant :grin: :grin: :grin:
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Just read this back to front all the way to the start, best time I have ever spent on a thread :grin: also nice to know there's some others on here that puff :laugh: thought it was frowned upon on here.
Anyway I did the whole period sex thing and was feeling pretty good about it. Earlier that year a mates older brother told me I wasn't a man till I had blood on my sword. Obviously coming from a mates older brother that's known as an animal I knew I needed to get sticky and red :smug:
It was all fine and dandy until literally 2 or 3 hours after getting my lad points, I went for a piss, peeled back my foreskin to find a nuggety lump of blood nestling underneath :sick:
Still at least I'm now a man :cool:
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Figured if we are going to revive old threads, this can't go a miss! :grin:
Come on then.. what ya got to add?
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Pissed on myself.
by choice?
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Figured if we are going to revive old threads, this can't go a miss! :grin:
Come on then.. what ya got to add?
Re: Annoying habbits (VR6 Wherry)
« Reply #1 on: 05 September 2012, 13:14 »
"I don't do this, but see it often. Revive old threads that people stopped caring about years ago"
You f**king hypocrite :wink:
My worst thing would be once midway through having sex with my best mates sister :lipsrsealed: she complained it was hurting her cervix, now I'm no Dirk Diggler, but I'm a big lad and everything's in proportion, I knew at the time I was holding back ( about 2" inches lol) and then she has a lightbulb moment and says, "ah, hang on a minute" and she pushes me back and then pluffs out this little red devil, looks at it vacantly, flashes it in my face and then pings it against the wall and says,"now it should all fit in"........to be honest it was a right turn on (I was thingyed on 'e')....next morning the first thing i see when I awake is a reddy, brown outline of a tampon on the wall. Dirty b!tch :drool:
In fact I can better that :shocked: I was once having a threesome with a notoriously filthy girl, my best mate was giving it stacks and she was noshing on the old chap. Once he'd done his bit :-----, the girl intimated she wanted me inside in her, but it was a definite no go without a rubber, it became apparent at this point that the one and only rubber was still on my mates dick. Anyways he ditched the glove on the floor next to me, as she carried on noshing. Me being the thingy that I am, picked it up quick snap, turned it inside and out, put it on and proclaimed I'd found another jonny. And sure enough I was in there like swimwear. Best thing about it all was I nearly made my best mate a dad. Worst thing about it all, was trying to fit a rubber on, that had already been unravelled. Not easy. But well worth it. :laugh:
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not that discusting. but always scratch and sniff.
This made me be sick in my mouth a little bit :sick:
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Due to the official secrets act I can post all the details.
but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
and to those who said your mum - after 3 years in south wales and the the pleasure of the " valley commandos"
I raise your your mum to " your Gran " :lipsrsealed: :laugh:
I hope some of these mates were girls dude. No bloke in their right mind, even after a bottle of absinthe, would eat a 'bourbon' covered in their mates baby batter. :sick: :wink:
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Probably involving poo in a sexual act some years ago.
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Probably involving poo in a sexual act some years ago.
Wrong on so many levels :smiley:
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Used a festival port-a-loo.
Thank god for wellies!
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Watched 2 girls 1 cup......... (Y)
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Watched 2 girls 1 cup......... (Y)
I love the reaction vids to 2 girls 1 cup....amazing!
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I love this thread....well done for bringing it back to life Wherry :afro:
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not that discusting. but always scratch and sniff.
This made me be sick in my mouth a little bit :sick:
after just sayin you used a jonny after your mate :grin: :grin: who gives a sh!t if it was inside out still rank :grin: :grin:
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not that discusting. but always scratch and sniff.
This made me be sick in my mouth a little bit :sick:
after just sayin you used a jonny after your mate :grin: :grin: who gives a sh!t if it was inside out still rank :grin: :grin:
Wearing it inside out means my old chap only had the birds juices touching it, whereas any baby batter left from my friend was deposited inside the female. It's a win win :smug:
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not that discusting. but always scratch and sniff.
This made me be sick in my mouth a little bit :sick:
after just sayin you used a jonny after your mate :grin: :grin: who gives a sh!t if it was inside out still rank :grin: :grin:
Wearing it inside out means my old chap only had the birds juices touching it, whereas any baby batter left from my friend was deposited inside the female. It's a win win :smug:
you said she was a well known slag an your happy her juices wer touchin you why not just go bare back :grin:
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hahahah game over :grin:
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not that discusting. but always scratch and sniff.
This made me be sick in my mouth a little bit :sick:
after just sayin you used a jonny after your mate :grin: :grin: who gives a sh!t if it was inside out still rank :grin: :grin:
Wearing it inside out means my old chap only had the birds juices touching it, whereas any baby batter left from my friend was deposited inside the female. It's a win win :smug:
you said she was a well known slag an your happy her juices wer touchin you why not just go bare back :grin:
Because she said no glove, no love. Slag or no slag mate, I ain't gonna turn down sex from someone with a body off baywatch and a snatch as tight as a mouses waistcoat :drool: plus which when you're battered beyond all sense of realistic control, I tend to be led by my thingy...
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not that discusting. but always scratch and sniff.
This made me be sick in my mouth a little bit :sick:
after just sayin you used a jonny after your mate :grin: :grin: who gives a sh!t if it was inside out still rank :grin: :grin:
Wearing it inside out means my old chap only had the birds juices touching it, whereas any baby batter left from my friend was deposited inside the female. It's a win win :smug:
you said she was a well known slag an your happy her juices wer touchin you why not just go bare back :grin:
Because she said no glove, no love. Slag or no slag mate, I ain't gonna turn down sex from someone with a body off baywatch and a snatch as tight as a mouses waistcoat :drool: plus which when you're battered beyond all sense of realistic control, I tend to be led by my thingy...
a slag with a snatch like a mouses waistcoat :grin: :grin: that would be a 1st unless she was a 50p ride for the teenagers :grin:
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2-0 to barry :grin:
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:grin: :grin: :grin:
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2-0 to barry :grin:
not want to score points but thats just rank turnin a jonny inside out :sick:
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2-0 to barry :grin:
not want to score points but thats just rank turnin a jonny inside out :sick:
aye, would have just filled her gob instead :grin:
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^ or it could have been that my old chap made her seem tight.... :smug:
And to be fair in my original post you'll note that I used the term 'notoriously filthy' and not the term 'slag', that was you reading it incorrectly..I've had filthy virgins too does that mean they must have cavernous snatches too?
2-0 to barry :grin:
not want to score points but thats just rank turnin a jonny inside out :sick:
Yeah retrospectively I didn't show much respect for my best mate, but it IS the most disgusting thing I have ever done.....apart from destroying your grans anus :wink:
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2-0 to barry :grin:
not want to score points but thats just rank turnin a jonny inside out :sick:
aye, would have just filled her gob instead :grin:
or slapped ma pal an took the jonny off him before he got it on :grin: :grin:
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^ or it could have been that my old chap made her seem tight.... :smug:
And to be fair in my original post you'll note that I used the term 'notoriously filthy' and not the term 'slag', that was you reading it incorrectly..I've had filthy virgins too does that mean they must have cavernous snatches too?
2-0 to barry :grin:
not want to score points but thats just rank turnin a jonny inside out :sick:
Yeah retrospectively I didn't show much respect for my best mate, but it IS the most disgusting thing I have ever done.....apart from destroying your grans anus :wink:
now if your going to start slagging my gran who has been dead since before you had pubes feel free :grin: :grin:
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Necrophilia is a favourite pastime of mine..... :kiss:
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Necrophilia is a favourite pastime of mine..... :kiss:
is that cause chicks dont like fattys :grin: :grin:
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No. It's because I don't like to cuddle after sex :wink:
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No. It's because I don't like to cuddle after sex :wink:
there may be hope for you yet then of becoming a normal man :grin: :grin:
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I doubt I'll ever be normal. What normal person would enter into this kind of two way verbal sparring session...... :laugh:
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I doubt I'll ever be normal. What normal person would enter into this kind of two way verbal sparring session...... :laugh:
well atleast i have not even thought of shagging any1 granny :grin: :grin: never mind turning jonnys inside out :smug:
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I doubt I'll ever be normal. What normal person would enter into this kind of two way verbal sparring session...... :laugh:
well atleast i have not even thought of shagging any1 granny :grin: :grin: never mind turning jonnys inside out :smug:
Oh mate I don't stop at grannies....I'm one f**ked up Herbert :shocked:
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I doubt I'll ever be normal. What normal person would enter into this kind of two way verbal sparring session...... :laugh:
well atleast i have not even thought of shagging any1 granny :grin: :grin: never mind turning jonnys inside out :smug:
Oh mate I don't stop at grannies....I'm one f**ked up Herbert :shocked:
we already know that :grin: :grin:
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Well I'm glad we've been able to get intimate with one another this evening, I like to keep it in the family :wink: :grin:
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Well I'm glad we've been able to get intimate with one another this evening, I like to keep it in the family :wink: :grin:
prob normal for you folks down in devon :grin:
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You're not wrong dude. You ought to come down you'd love it. As long as you can survive without heroin and battered mars bars for a bit :grin:
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You're not wrong dude. You ought to come down you'd love it. As long as you can survive without heroin and battered mars bars for a bit :grin:
:grin: :grin: more of that nasty stuff down south mate :wink: an a bet you would kill for a mars bar right now :grin:
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You're not wrong dude. You ought to come down you'd love it. As long as you can survive without heroin and battered mars bars for a bit :grin:
:grin: :grin: more of that nasty stuff down south mate :wink: an a bet you would kill for a mars bar right now :grin:
Are you sure..... http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/home-news/breivik-glasgow-is-heroin-trade-hub.14527270
I'm more into Marathons than Mars :wink:
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You're not wrong dude. You ought to come down you'd love it. As long as you can survive without heroin and battered mars bars for a bit :grin:
:grin: :grin: more of that nasty stuff down south mate :wink: an a bet you would kill for a mars bar right now :grin:
Are you sure..... http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/home-news/breivik-glasgow-is-heroin-trade-hub.14527270
I'm more into Marathons than Mars :wink:
yeah lets listen to everything in the papers an take it as true :wink: an its more than just 1 marathon thats got you needing to diet
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Well it was Anders Breivik :wink:
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What better way to show i am back then to bump this up! i'm sure there are loads of new members on here! :grin:
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i done this to my 1st car :sick:
http://www.barryboys.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=26630
Its the black n reg punto.
also the civic was my friends car at the time :undecided:
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i done this to my 1st car :sick:
http://www.barryboys.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=26630
Its the black n reg punto.
also the civic was my friends car at the time :undecided:
a thought my mr2 was bad but that punto and saab 9000 just proved it wasnt that bad :grin:
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I love this thread, it makes me so happy when I see it's been bumped again :grin:
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I love this thread, it makes me so happy when I see it's been bumped again :grin:
It's only ever me that bumps this up and i never have anything to add to it lol :grin:
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Best. Thread. Ever!
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I suppose it's worth bumping this one again! :grin:
Just for you Dom!
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:sick: We don't need reminding of this thread :laugh:
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Figured if we are going to revive old threads, this can't go a miss! :grin:
Come on then.. what ya got to add?
Re: Annoying habbits (VR6 Wherry)
« Reply #1 on: 05 September 2012, 13:14 »
"I don't do this, but see it often. Revive old threads that people stopped caring about years ago"
You f**king hypocrite :wink:
My worst thing would be once midway through having sex with my best mates sister :lipsrsealed: she complained it was hurting her cervix, now I'm no Dirk Diggler, but I'm a big lad and everything's in proportion, I knew at the time I was holding back ( about 2" inches lol) and then she has a lightbulb moment and says, "ah, hang on a minute" and she pushes me back and then pluffs out this little red devil, looks at it vacantly, flashes it in my face and then pings it against the wall and says,"now it should all fit in"........to be honest it was a right turn on (I was thingyed on 'e')....next morning the first thing i see when I awake is a reddy, brown outline of a tampon on the wall. Dirty b!tch :drool:
In fact I can better that :shocked: I was once having a threesome with a notoriously filthy girl, my best mate was giving it stacks and she was noshing on the old chap. Once he'd done his bit :-----, the girl intimated she wanted me inside in her, but it was a definite no go without a rubber, it became apparent at this point that the one and only rubber was still on my mates dick. Anyways he ditched the glove on the floor next to me, as she carried on noshing. Me being the thingy that I am, picked it up quick snap, turned it inside and out, put it on and proclaimed I'd found another jonny. And sure enough I was in there like swimwear. Best thing about it all was I nearly made my best mate a dad. Worst thing about it all, was trying to fit a rubber on, that had already been unravelled. Not easy. But well worth it. :laugh:
this was a dirty c**t :sick:
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Due to the official secrets act I can post all the details.
but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
and to those who said your mum - after 3 years in south wales and the the pleasure of the " valley commandos"
I raise your your mum to " your Gran " :lipsrsealed: :laugh:
I raise you freckles Chuff!
Oh the drunken shame, especially with a room full of people throwing up over each other (literally) afterwards!
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Figured if we are going to revive old threads, this can't go a miss! :grin:
Come on then.. what ya got to add?
Re: Annoying habbits (VR6 Wherry)
« Reply #1 on: 05 September 2012, 13:14 »
"I don't do this, but see it often. Revive old threads that people stopped caring about years ago"
You f**king hypocrite :wink:
My worst thing would be once midway through having sex with my best mates sister :lipsrsealed: she complained it was hurting her cervix, now I'm no Dirk Diggler, but I'm a big lad and everything's in proportion, I knew at the time I was holding back ( about 2" inches lol) and then she has a lightbulb moment and says, "ah, hang on a minute" and she pushes me back and then pluffs out this little red devil, looks at it vacantly, flashes it in my face and then pings it against the wall and says,"now it should all fit in"........to be honest it was a right turn on (I was thingyed on 'e')....next morning the first thing i see when I awake is a reddy, brown outline of a tampon on the wall. Dirty b!tch :drool:
In fact I can better that :shocked: I was once having a threesome with a notoriously filthy girl, my best mate was giving it stacks and she was noshing on the old chap. Once he'd done his bit :-----, the girl intimated she wanted me inside in her, but it was a definite no go without a rubber, it became apparent at this point that the one and only rubber was still on my mates dick. Anyways he ditched the glove on the floor next to me, as she carried on noshing. Me being the thingy that I am, picked it up quick snap, turned it inside and out, put it on and proclaimed I'd found another jonny. And sure enough I was in there like swimwear. Best thing about it all was I nearly made my best mate a dad. Worst thing about it all, was trying to fit a rubber on, that had already been unravelled. Not easy. But well worth it. :laugh:
this was a dirty c**t :sick:
(http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/family_guy_thats_nasty1.jpg)
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Due to the official secrets act I can post all the details.
but a game called " soggy biscuit " is properly the worst :sick: involves a lot of alcohol - a few mates and a biscuit :grin:
and to those who said your mum - after 3 years in south wales and the the pleasure of the " valley commandos"
I raise your your mum to " your Gran " :lipsrsealed: :laugh:
I raise you freckles Chuff!
Oh the drunken shame, especially with a room full of people throwing up over each other (literally) afterwards!
haha
i didnt think anybody would have been actually sick enough to play freckles.
me and a mate once convinced a couple of girls that freckles is a drinking game and got them to agree to play it. we decided not too :D then told them what the game consisted of and they decided they wouldnt play :D