Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[MrBounce]

There's a new Viagra Pill on the market called 007.

It makes you Roger More.

[MrBounce]

An Arab enters a taxi...
 
Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidels and certainly no radio.
 
So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door.
 
The Arab asks him: “What are you doing man?”
 
The cabby answers: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis.
So get out and wait for a camel.”

[mcgee9t2]

The ferrari f1 team fired there whole pit crew yesterday

this announcement followed ferraris descision to take advantage of the governments 'work for your dole' schemeand employ some liverpudlian youngsters.

the descision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemploymed youths from toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, were as the ferrari pit crew could only do it in 8 with millions of pounds of high tech equipment.

it was thought to be an excellent bold move by the ferrari management team as most races are won or lost in the pits giving them an advantage over all other teams.

however ferrari bit off more than they bargained for! At the crews first practice not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had resprayed,re badged and sold the car to meclaren for 8cases of stella, a bag of weed and some photos of lewis hamiltons bird in the shower

[VW BUSH]

After being told Fernado torres had scored two goals, Fabrice Muamba replied "feck me how many years was i out for?"

[haf1zur]

‎"You won't like me when I'm angry.

Because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources."

The Credible Hulk

[Lankylad78]

ARE YOU INSURED FOR SEX?

Make sure you get the Correct Insurance for the sex you are having.

Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes:

Sex with your wife - Legal & General.
Sex on the telephone - Direct Line.
Sex with your Partner - Standard Life.
Sex with someone Different - Go Compare.
Sex with a Fat bird - More Than.
Sex On the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels.
Sex with a posh bird - Privileged.
Sex with an OAP - Saga !
Sex with a transvestite - confused.com!

[bored_Welsh_lad]

I hate it when the blokes wear condoms in porn.

What's the point?

Men can't get each other pregnant.

[kempie]

What do ethiopians do on a Friday night?

Starve

[Roverdose]

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.

What's the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne will usually not come on a kid's face until around 13 or 14 years old.

[shelaghmk3gti]

what do u call a nun in a wheelchair?

virgin mobile