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Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 140841 times)

Offline Roverdose

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1240 on: 22 April 2012, 15:54 »
A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer.
I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick.
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Offline bully79

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1241 on: 24 April 2012, 20:12 »
Chinese proverb: Man who confuse laxative and viagra........crap in bed.
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Offline asif

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1242 on: 28 April 2012, 10:15 »
Went to the chemist for some condoms.
The assistant said "do you want a bag"
I said "Oi......she ain't that bad!"

Farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep under his arm with his wife in bed. He says "this is the pig I have to shag when you're not up for sex." His wife replies "darling that is a sheep". "I know, who do you think I was talking to.
« Last Edit: 28 April 2012, 10:19 by asif »
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MK7 GT Bluemotion Tech TDi 150

Offline Ant1981

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1243 on: 29 May 2012, 18:21 »
In hind sight, I should have just updated my Facebook status to 'I've just knackered the head gasket on my 1997 Cosworth',

After I lost my job, the police arrested me and my wife's staying at her mothers because my status was set to 'I've just f**ked a 15 year old escort'.
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Quote from: Lewy on 14 September 2011, 23:39
80% of your posts are total tripe, as they are mostly replies to sh1te posts created by the morons that, unfortunately this forum attracts.

'02 VW Golf 1.8 GTi Turbo - 186,000 miles
'09 Kawasaki Ninja ZX-6R
1990 VW Golf GTi 16V - Gone but not forgotten
Currently considering next car

Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1244 on: 29 May 2012, 21:24 »
I just read that Robert Mugabe supports Chelsea.

A massive racist cnut with no morals...



















...is his favourite player.   :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
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Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1245 on: 12 September 2012, 18:14 »
"Jesus Loves You."

A soothing, wonderful thing for believers to hear in Church.

Something else entirely if you hear it in a Mexican prison.
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Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline Ant1981

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1246 on: 12 September 2012, 22:44 »
I went into a watch repairs shop and slapped my massive juicy dick on the counter.....

the young fit shop girl said 'this is a clock shop, not a cock shop'.

'I know' I said, 'I just want you to put some hands on it'.
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Quote from: Lewy on 14 September 2011, 23:39
80% of your posts are total tripe, as they are mostly replies to sh1te posts created by the morons that, unfortunately this forum attracts.

'02 VW Golf 1.8 GTi Turbo - 186,000 miles
'09 Kawasaki Ninja ZX-6R
1990 VW Golf GTi 16V - Gone but not forgotten
Currently considering next car

Offline james c

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1247 on: 13 September 2012, 12:42 »
A family are driving behind a dump truck, when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says,' don't worry that was only an insect.' to which, her son replies.'

I'm surprised it could get of the ground with a c*ck like that.'
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Offline VR6_Wherry

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1248 on: 13 September 2012, 13:34 »
*A Jimmy Carr one*

"How do you get a gay man to f**k a woman?

sh!t in her c*nt"
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Offline raferackstraw

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1249 on: 14 September 2012, 20:21 »
today i took the wife to the doctors to sort out her tourettes. apparently she doesn't have it.
 i am 'a c**t' and she does want me to 'f**k off'
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wayne gardner smokes one rothmans too many
500cc 2stroke bad for ya health
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