Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[asif]

I'm lost with the above jokes, maybe better if their spoken out.

[MrBounce]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

His head was stuffed in Anthony Worrall Thompson's pocket.

[mongchops]

The wife said to me last night,
"If you turn off the bedside light, I'll take it up the arse"
Suppose I should really have let the bulb cool down a bit first.

[mcgee9t2]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

His head was stuffed in Anthony Worrall Thompson's pocket.

what was this off? i was watching it the other day and i cant remember

[mcgee9t2]

[harlemex]

my wife said give me 12 inches and make me bleed! so I f**ked her three times and punched her in the nose.

Where do you find these?!

most of the recent jokes on here are off sikipedia, so im gonna join in and post the top jokes from siki

i walked up to my daughter at a family party last night. "do you know how much youve embarrased me tonight?" i spat. "what do you mean?" she asked. "short skirt, little top! you look like a very *friendly* person," i snaped. "im sorry dad" she frowned. "so you should be" i replied "all of your aunts keep pointing and giggling at my errection".


i said to the missus, "when i look at you i always think of a fine red wine". "why is that?" she replied, " is it cause im fruity with a nice body?". "no." i said, "i keep thinking about bottling you."


as i sat on the edge of the bed pulling off my boxers, my wife looked at me and said "please dont do that to the dogs."


i went to the zoo and saw a sign saying "two children for £10" i might get them as a christmas present for my peado neighbour colin.

I didnt get it from siki.

[harlemex]

my wife said give me 12 inches and make me bleed! so I f**ked her three times and punched her in the nose.

Bet you got that from the ending in one of the ef**kt videos 

wtf is an ef**kt video??

[MrBounce]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

His head was stuffed in Anthony Worrall Thompson's pocket.

what was this off? i was watching it the other day and i cant remember

Dunno mate - I got it from a mate on Faceache 

[Neo Badness]

What do you call a chav standing outside a church in a white tracksuit ?


The bride.




What qualifies as sexual protection to chavs ?


A bus shelter.




What do you call a chavvy girl with a runny nose ?


Full.

[Sam]

All from Sikipedia 

Stephen Hawking turned 70 this week. You figure in that chair he could at least turn 360.




Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?

Find out after the break.





I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so I quickly followed her.

As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus.

So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"

She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too.

As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, "You dropped your purse on the floor outside McDonald's."

"Thank you so much" she said, "Where is it?"

I said, "I've just told you, on the floor outside McDonald's."