Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[harlemex]

my wife said give me 12 inches and make me bleed! so I f**ked her three times and punched her in the nose.

[AlexMozza]

my wife said give me 12 inches and make me bleed! so I f**ked her three times and punched her in the nose.

Where do you find these?!

[Khare]

my wife said give me 12 inches and make me bleed! so I f**ked her three times and punched her in the nose.

Bet you got that from the ending in one of the ef**kt videos 

[mcgee9t2]

my wife said give me 12 inches and make me bleed! so I f**ked her three times and punched her in the nose.

Where do you find these?!

most of the recent jokes on here are off sikipedia, so im gonna join in and post the top jokes from siki

i walked up to my daughter at a family party last night. "do you know how much youve embarrased me tonight?" i spat. "what do you mean?" she asked. "short skirt, little top! you look like a sl*t," i snaped. "im sorry dad" she frowned. "so you should be" i replied "all of your aunts keep pointing and giggling at my errection".


i said to the missus, "when i look at you i always think of a fine red wine". "why is that?" she replied, " is it cause im fruity with a nice body?". "no." i said, "i keep thinking about bottling you."


as i sat on the edge of the bed pulling off my boxers, my wife looked at me and said "please dont do that to the dogs."


i went to the zoo and saw a sign saying "two children for £10" i might get them as a christmas present for my peado neighbour colin.

[VR6_Wherry]

At yesterday's Chelsea training session John Terry got the ball and dribbled it round Malouda then Ramires, Cole, Sturridge, Essien, Mikel, Kalou, Drogba and finally Anelka. Villas Boas shakes his head and shouts "CONES JOHN, I SAID DRIBBLE ROUND THE CONES"

John Terry has written an open letter of apology to Anton Ferdinand. "Good golly Anton, I'm sorry about all this monkey business. It was only a little black humour really and it's all gone bananas. What do you say we call a spade a spade and end this whole dark episode between us? Feel free to swing by for a drink sometime, John"

[VR6_Wherry]

why do women have legs?

have you ever seen the mess that slugs leave behind!??

[ortega277]

In the car, I said to my wife, "You've been driving this haven't you?"She said, "How do you know?"I said, "Because the clutch is knackered."She said, "Don't blame me, I've never used it."

[MrBounce]

"It's amazing just how sociable polar bears can be."

Thanks Attenborough, it was a f**king disaster when I brought one to the pub with me.

[Jord_GTI]

Missed out on Movember?
Why not raise funds for victims of sexual violence next spring by taking part in Rapril.

[mongchops]

My neighbour just confronted me about items missing off of his washing line.

I almost sh!t his pants!