Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[golf-sib]

What's the difference between JLS and Futurama?

There's only one Bender in Futurama.

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I was working late at the Carphone Warehouse last night when I received this text from my daughter:
'Dad,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone.
Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative.'

And as I eagerly rushed home, I couldn't help but wonder...

What the hell does 'ternative' mean?

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My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word 'C|_|NT'.

I suppose she's got a point, I really should make the effort to learn her mother's real name.

[Hulmie]

In 1872 the Welsh invented the condom using a sheeps bladder.

However in 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the sheep first

 

[asif]

Just lost a pub quizz by one point.

Question was where do most women have curly hair?

Apparently the correct answer was Africa.

Really lol'd at that one :lol:

[luke]

what do you do if your girlfriend is smoking whilst having sex?

slow down and use lubricant.

[MrBounce]

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?
























Banned from the petting zoo. 

[mongchops]

Funny old world aint it.
There were a couple of thousand Pakis at Edgbaston today.............Praying for rain!

[mcgee9t2]

Why did the sperm cross the road?



















Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk.

[DarnPB]

Saw Pakistan on Google earth today. Kind of looked like a bowl of coco pops.

[VR6Lee]

See the BNP have just donated 600 crocodiles to Pakistan flood appeal.

[archie837]

Why did the sperm cross the road?



















Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk.

Ew. LOL