Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[Len]

Either way a joke surely? 

[Hulmie]

An Aid relief song has been made to help raise funds for the pakistani flood victums.

there calling it " Raindrops Keep Falling on Ahmed"

[Hulmie]

A lad pulls a 58 yr old women in a nightclub, she looks real good for her age
On the way home the lad thinks i bet her daughters fit

with that the women says " How would you like a sportsmans Double"
"Whats that" he says
"Its a mother and daughter threesome" she replies
"WOW yes please" he says

Just as they get through her front day, she turns the hall lights on and shouts upstairs
"Mum are you still awake"

 

[archie837]

A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER:$2
HAMBURGER:$2.50
CHEESEBURGER:$3
CHICKEN SANDWICH:$3.25
HAND JOB:$50

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun wrinkled golfers. She glides down the bar to the old golfer. "Yes" she enquires with a wide knowing smile "may I help you"?
The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers "I was wondering young lady". "Are you the one who gives the handjobs"?
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "yes sir","I sure am".
The old golfer leans in closer and into her left ear and says softly "Well wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger".

[DarnPB]

Freddie Mercury died recently,
 
 Not true really,
 
but he went to heaven
 
& God said to him
 
"You did a great job whilst on Earth Freddie,
 
so I'm going to give you a new life.
 
What would you like to be?",
 
Freddie replied,
 
"I'd like to be the England goalkeeper.
 
" God asked him why he chose that.
 
To which Freddie said
 
"Because I'll have 10 assholes in front of me,
 
50,000 pricks behind me,
 
 
 
 
 
 
&
 
 
 
 
 
I won't catch a thing!!!".

[Adam88]

The England Soccer Team jokes are getting a bit old dont you guys think?

[Len]

One continuous joke!

[DarnPB]

If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't support!!

[Adam88]

a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it!

[Neo Badness]

Friend told me to watch Titanic, but take a box of tissues.

Dunno what she was on about, I couldn't knock one out for the whole 3hrs.

===============================

Just lost a pub quizz by one point.

Question was where do most women have curly hair?

Apparently the correct answer was Africa.