Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 141521 times)

Offline Ridg

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #520 on: 05 February 2010, 15:57 »
I told my mate the other day that his new nickname was going to be "John Terry".

He laughed and said; "what because you wouldn't leave me alone with your missus"?

No because you’re a c#nt I replied.

Offline stealthwolf

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #521 on: 10 February 2010, 10:12 »
A half jewish half black kid asks his mum "Am i mostly jewish or mostly black mum?"
"your just my son" replies his mum, "but why such a question?"
"Well my mate is selling his bike for £50 and i dont know wether to haggle wih him or just stab the c*nt and take it."

I actually lolled!  :grin: :grin: :grin:

Offline Rmachines

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #522 on: 14 February 2010, 12:23 »
My local curry house is holding a charity curry night in aid of the haiti disaster

The specials are: Chicken burryanti, Nandead and papagon

10 golfs and counting! 

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Offline simonpolly

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #523 on: 15 February 2010, 20:29 »
The Worlds worst joke...


A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examines the dishes.

"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!"

A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid.

"Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen. "Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!"

The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry.

"I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling.

"Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show.
*
*
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*
*
Wait for it...
*
*
*
*
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*
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*
*

That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. With mild green, hairy lip squid!"

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Offline asif

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #524 on: 16 February 2010, 00:23 »
Oh man that is poor :laugh: :grin:
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Offline justalex81

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #525 on: 16 February 2010, 09:51 »
The Worlds worst joke...


A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examines the dishes.

"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!"

A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid.

"Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen. "Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!"

The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry.

"I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling.

"Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show.
*
*
*
*
*
*
Wait for it...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. With mild green, hairy lip squid!"



don't come here again  :sick:

Offline Len

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #526 on: 17 February 2010, 12:49 »
Thats my kind of humour!  :laugh:
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Offline DarnPB

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #527 on: 17 February 2010, 12:52 »
I first heard that in 1987! :huh:


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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #528 on: 17 February 2010, 15:37 »
I dont get it!

Offline haf1zur

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