Had an amusing phone conversation with the guy who booked it in for the check-up.
Him "Hi Mr Rossc0, just wondering if you could tell me the symptoms of the problem?"
Me "Sure. I started it, it died with a loud noise and now it won't start"
Him "Right, we will see what the diagnostic tells me"
Me "I've been googling the symptoms, apparently 'timing chain tensioner failure' comes up quite a bit with these symptoms"
Him "That's not possible Mr Rossc0, your car is belt driven!"
