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General => General discussion => Topic started by: Thom89 on 15 May 2012, 22:51
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This happened last night...
Myself, my wife, and James were coming home from clothes shopping last night, general discussion in the car was about VW's, my wife bless her, out the blue, came out with this... "Was it VW that made the Beetle?" The car fell into silence for about 5 seconds. then erupted
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
Thom
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
My sister did something like this once. We were food shopping, in the snacks isle and my sister randomly came out with 'LOOK, they've started making giant mini chedders!'
She's 25
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My ex whilst on holiday in Spain did ask me if the moon was the same one that we have back at home, she then asked which one did they land on.
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Whilst driving along the M25 once I saw a plane coming into land. I mentioned to the wife that we must be near Heathrow airport. "Oh" she said. "I've never been this far south before". I asked if she'd ever been to France? Her reply?
"No. But we drove through it once on the way to Spain"!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:
It then took her a further 20 minutes to realise what a complete and utter simpleton she was!
Btw. She is a solicitor!!!!
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I can't remember the conversation, but my ex genuinely thought that phoenix's were extinct.
And she thought the sound affect pigs made was "pig pig pig pig pig pig pig".
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In the cinema and a trailer for the expendables 2 comes to. The missues then proceeds to ask "Who's Chuck Norris"
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I can't remember the conversation, but my ex genuinely thought that phoenix's were extinct.
And she thought the sound affect pigs made was "pig pig pig pig pig pig pig".
They are extinct :lipsrsealed:
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I can't remember the conversation, but my ex genuinely thought that phoenix's were extinct.
And she thought the sound affect pigs made was "pig pig pig pig pig pig pig".
They are extinct :lipsrsealed:
Not extinct! Not even real, mythical!
Thom
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I can't remember the conversation, but my ex genuinely thought that phoenix's were extinct.
And she thought the sound affect pigs made was "pig pig pig pig pig pig pig".
They are extinct :lipsrsealed:
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
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I can't remember the conversation, but my ex genuinely thought that phoenix's were extinct.
And she thought the sound affect pigs made was "pig pig pig pig pig pig pig".
They are extinct :lipsrsealed:
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
You don't own a Griffin? LOOL!
One of my workers went to the bank the teller ask what he would like as it was £200
he replied "Cash please"
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I can't remember the conversation, but my ex genuinely thought that phoenix's were extinct.
And she thought the sound affect pigs made was "pig pig pig pig pig pig pig".
They are extinct :lipsrsealed:
Not extinct! Not even real, mythical!
Thom
That's what i thought! :grin:
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I can't remember the conversation, but my ex genuinely thought that phoenix's were extinct.
And she thought the sound affect pigs made was "pig pig pig pig pig pig pig".
They are extinct :lipsrsealed:
Not extinct! Not even real, mythical!
Thom
That's what i thought! :grin:
Can you not be mythically extinct? I.e. You used to mythically exist, but the Ewoks hunted you to extinction?
On that note - Are Ewoks real?! :undecided:
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On that note - Are Ewoks real?! :undecided:
kind of.. they now pose as kualas
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I can't remember the conversation, but my ex genuinely thought that phoenix's were extinct.
And she thought the sound affect pigs made was "pig pig pig pig pig pig pig".
They are extinct :lipsrsealed:
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
You don't own a Griffin? LOOL!
One of my workers went to the bank the teller ask what he would like as it was £200
he replied "Cash please"
I say that's a good answer! :grin:
My ex thinks that a tyre is called a wheel and a wheel is called a tyre, I tried to tell her it is the other way round but she wouldn't believe me, she just said I was trying to trick her, she uses the logic of "when you get a puncture you change the wheel, the black bit is what gets the puncture, so that's the wheel"
She also thinks beef comes from a pig. :rolleyes:
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She also thinks beef comes from a pig. :rolleyes:
My mate thought beef WAS the animal!
We were playing that game where someone writes something and you stick it to your head and try and guess what you are.
He goes "Am I a beef?"
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She also thinks beef comes from a pig. :rolleyes:
My mate thought beef WAS the animal!
We were playing that game where someone writes something and you stick it to your head and try and guess what you are.
He goes "Am I a beef?"
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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A mate's sister genuinely thought that there was an oil field under every petrol station, and that when a new petrol station opened up it was because they had discovered more oil :grin:
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A mate's sister genuinely thought that there was an oil field under every petrol station, and that when a new petrol station opened up it was because they had discovered more oil :grin:
:grin: :grin: :grin:
why cannot i meet people like this everyday!! my life would be so much easier
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my mate once said whilst listening to the radio... what was this band Motown, they seem to have had alot of hits back in the day :rolleyes:
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Chelsea once said: "is that a boom box in the boot?".
She was referring to the subwoofer. Bless.
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my sisters boyfriends sister, was having a conversation with me and her mum about france and her mum said we should get the euro star one day and go, she replied "the eurostar would be so boaring just being in a dark tunel for 4 hours or so" (yes she thought it took that long to go through the tunnel) at this point my sisters boyfriend said that the tunnel was made from glass like the ones at sea life centres.
she genuinely belived him, then started saying oh were defanitly going on that to her mum, and would not belive anyone for about 10 mins when we were trying to tell her it wasnt actually a glass tunnel were you can see fishes :grin:
(http://www.simplyairlines.com/images/cityguides/barcelona/10_top_ten.jpg)
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We convinced a girl at work that Google Maps in Satellite view was real-time and that if she stood outside, we'd see her on the map.
She went outside.
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We convinced a girl at work that Google Maps in Satellite view was real-time and that if she stood outside, we'd see her on the map.
She went outside.
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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We convinced a girl at work that Google Maps in Satellite view was real-time and that if she stood outside, we'd see her on the map.
She went outside.
:grin: :grin:
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Oh these have made my day. Crease!
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We convinced a girl at work that Google Maps in Satellite view was real-time and that if she stood outside, we'd see her on the map.
She went outside.
That's brilliant! :grin: :grin: :grin:
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Thats hilarious! :laugh:
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Chelsea once said: "is that a boom box in the boot?".
She was referring to the subwoofer. Bless.
i would have thought that is a fairly common misconception.
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My GF once asked if we had the same moon abroad as we do in the UK, but what she was trying to ask was 'is it the same light' which is actually a credible question. But then went on to question why when driving alongside the see does its reflection follow you, which blew away any kind of normal question she may have proposed thereafter. :grin:
I also had a female friend ask about cows lying down before rain, we explained that alot of animals do it subconsciously even people. We then spend the entire weekend pointing out people sitting on benches and the heavy grey skys of edinburgh, we had her convinced it was true :grin:
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me and my wife were sat in living room with the kids and a kids program called rolly mole was on tv (if you have kids you will remember it)
my wife then turns round and says this rolly mole is crap why would kids want to watch a singing badger :grin:
and it even took a little wile of explaing that he was a mole as the clue is in his name.
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me and my wife were sat in living room with the kids and a kids program called rolly mole was on tv (if you have kids you will remember it)
my wife then turns round and says this rolly mole is crap why would kids want to watch a singing badger :grin:
and it even took a little wile of explaing that he was a mole as the clue is in his name.
:laugh:
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In the cinema and a trailer for the expendables 2 comes to. The missues then proceeds to ask "Who's Chuck Norris"
WHAAAT... :shocked: :shocked: :shocked:
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About 3 years ago my wife asked me where donner meat comes from.. :evil: 3 years later she still thinks there's a Turkish animal called a donner.....?
AND...mountain goats have shorter legs on one side so they dont fall down the slope. :grin: :grin: :grin:
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About 3 years ago my wife asked me where donner meat comes from..
does anyone really know the answer to this, i wouldnt even like to know whats in my bab
AND...mountain goats have shorter legs on one side so they dont fall down the slope. :grin: :grin: :grin:
:grin: :grin: thats awsome
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Just hired a garden shredder for the w.end, and it wont start! :undecided:
Missus said, "but your not doing it four times!"
I said, "what the f**k you on about!"
She replies "it says 4 stroke on it, so you have to do it four times!"
I didn't marry her for her brains thats for sure! :rolleyes: :grin:
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Just hired a garden shredder for the w.end, and it wont start! :undecided:
Missus said, "but your not doing it four times!"
I said, "what the f**k you on about!"
She replies "it says 4 stroke on it, so you have to do it four times!"
I didn't marry her for her brains thats for sure! :rolleyes: :grin:
:laugh: :laugh: brilliant!
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mine just asked why the petrol lawnmower didnt have a plug :grin: :grin:
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My GF once asked me when we were on holiday in cornwall if we were in the same timezone as home (Surrey) because she wanted to phone her mum
Also last week when putting a postcode into her satnav she couldnt understand why it was only letting her put in numbers and not letters. I told her it can only be a number first on the 2nd part of a postcode. 'No' she said, 'mine starts with a B, M778 BOY'. I then had to explain the difference between a postcode and a car registration number :rolleyes:
oh and she also asked me while watching shaun of the dead 'is it true dogs cant look up?' :grin:
shes a keeper this one
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Wife sits down with the Macbook on her knee the other night, she starts tapping at the screen, which drew my attention, so I watched out the corner of my eye, she started to get more aggressive with it! I said "whats the matter" she replied "Its not working, the screen has frozen" I said, "Its the Macbook!" took about 30 seconds for the penny to drop that it wasn't the Ipad... love my wife :grin:
Thom
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Wife sits down with the Macbook on her knee the other night, she starts tapping at the screen, which drew my attention, so I watched out the corner of my eye, she started to get more aggressive with it! I said "whats the matter" she replied "Its not working, the screen has frozen" I said, "Its the Macbook!" took about 30 seconds for the penny to drop that it wasn't the Ipad... love my wife :grin:
Thom
:grin: :grin: Simplesss
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In the cinema and a trailer for the expendables 2 comes to. The missues then proceeds to ask "Who's Chuck Norris"
i don't even want to google to find out who he is...
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That's because you don't find Chuck Norris.
He finds you.
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That's because you don't find Chuck Norris.
He finds you.
I lol'd. :grin:
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That's because you don't find Chuck Norris.
He finds you.
I lol'd. :grin:
Me too! :laugh:
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That's because you don't find Chuck Norris.
He finds you.
I lol'd. :grin:
Me too! :laugh:
+1
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http://www.nochucknorris.com/
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http://www.nochucknorris.com/
Brilliant :grin:
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Driving south down the M5 tonight and i always have the traffic program on just in case, just after an announcement my wife turns to me and says how does it know we're going south? :huh:
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Chuck Norris - Brought to you by your favourite..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T-ehXC1Ohc
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Years ago my friend was over from Canada visiting me in Edinburgh. We walking along and were waiting for the pedestrian crossing lights to change. They made that bleeping noise as it changed to .
She asks "Why do the lights make that noise"
I reply "It's to let blind or partially sighted people know the lights have changed"
She thinks about this for a minute, then says "We don't let blind people drive in Canada...."
I started pissing myself laughing and she realised almost immediately. She's a Doctor now and we still refer to the blind person driving...
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Years ago my friend was over from Canada visiting me in Edinburgh. We walking along and were waiting for the pedestrian crossing lights to change. They made that bleeping noise as it changed to .
She asks "Why do the lights make that noise"
I reply "It's to let blind or partially sighted people know the lights have changed"
She thinks about this for a minute, then says "We don't let blind people drive in Canada...."
I started pissing myself laughing and she realised almost immediately. She's a Doctor now and we still refer to the blind person driving...
:grin: :grin: :grin:
Thom
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Just sat down ready to watch England vs Italy and my sister just said, so are we going to watch football or rugby
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yesterday mam called nicki minaj nicki minge :grin:
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yesterday mam called nicki minaj nicki minge :grin:
Chuckle
Thom
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yesterday mam called nicki minaj nicki minge :grin:
Chuckle
Tom
its so immature but you cant help but laugh :grin:
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Staying in Canada watching the basketball.
Her "how far into the game is it?"
Me "We're about half way through the second quarter"
Her "Cool, how many quarters are there?"
Me "......?"
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:grin: I lol'd! :laugh:
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Talking to Mrs B about Ireland.
"It's off the East Coast of England isn't it?"
Geography is not her strong point... :laugh:
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Other half was trying to tell me off for being a bit patronising.
She said: "Stop being so condensing"
Me: "I don't think thats what you mean"
Her: "Oh, (pause), Stop being condensating"
*Facepalm*
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working for air canada for as long as I have I can 100% believe the dumb things some Canadians say :grin:
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working for air canada for as long as I have I can 100% believe the dumb things some Canadians say :grin:
Kept me amused :grin:
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Other half was trying to tell me off for being a bit patronising.
She said: "Stop being so condensing"
Me: "I don't think thats what you mean"
Her: "Oh, (pause), Stop being condensating"
*Facepalm*
I lol'd at this too! :laugh:
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"How many breeds of people do you think there are?"
:laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin: :laugh: :grin:
For a brunette she's awfully blonde some most times.
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Walkin home last night and chelse turns and looks at the moon. She says "the suns really bright tonight"
Sometimes she does make my day