Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 141955 times)

Offline mongchops

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #310 on: 17 March 2009, 08:47 »
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her f*cking appendix out!"


Offline mongchops

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #311 on: 17 March 2009, 08:56 »
Isn't it ironic: Jade Goody's head looks like an egg, and it'll be in a box this Easter.



Jade Goody has stated that she is "ready to go to heaven".
Looks like cancer isn't going to be the last bad news she hears.


Just seen a hearse with just married on the back.


Jade Goody has been advised by doctors to take plenty of rest, increase her pain relief medication and not to bother buying any green bananas.


I heard that Elton John is going to release a charity record for Jade Goody.
It'll be called "Cancer in the Minge".


Jade Goody's latest therapy includes mud baths.
The doctors admit they will serve no medical purpose whatsoever but will get her used to the smell of freshly dug earth.


The woman who turned up at Jade Goody's bedside with a hammer also had screws, nails, wood and a measuring tape.
She also apologised for being a fortnight or so early.

Offline AlexB

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #312 on: 19 March 2009, 17:54 »
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson.

Offline ToRo

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #313 on: 19 March 2009, 18:00 »
What's the difference between Jade Goody's cancer and her husband?

One's eating out her pussy, the other's Jack Tweed.

Offline JC

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #314 on: 20 March 2009, 16:19 »
aint read this for months but here goes ( properly a repost  :laugh: )


Jade goody is going to be in Panto this Christmas .
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.Oh no she isnt  :grin:

Offline Martz

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #315 on: 21 March 2009, 18:10 »
Walkers have launched another new flavour to the range of crisps, Seman flavour. It will me marketed as a Diet Crisp for women. During the trials only 15% of women swallowed, the other 85% spat them out.

Offline JC

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #316 on: 24 March 2009, 09:20 »
Day one in heaven  & Jade Goody is already up for Eviction  :tongue:

Offline JC

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #317 on: 24 March 2009, 09:25 »
For Sale,

Blond Wig,

Unused Mothers Day present

Contact Jack Tweed

 :grin:

Offline Len

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #318 on: 02 April 2009, 16:29 »
Best laugh I had today!
This may not be funny after I have written it down but cracked me up at the time!

A woman was chatting to some of us and was telling us about her son and how well he was doing at college. he is doing several languages and a colleague came out with "Oh he is a cunning linguist then!"

She didnt get the joke, but I just burst out laughing!
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Offline RandomJord

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Just to bring the funtimes back!
« Reply #319 on: 03 April 2009, 22:35 »
So if you missed this, Southpark Queefs Vs Farts

Its immature, and amazing, watch the whole thing for, 'the road warrior'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10RHzNHLj3k
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