Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 141943 times)

Offline ben1.8T

  • I live here
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,838
Bubba had shingles
« Reply #250 on: 10 October 2008, 11:17 »
Bubba Had Shingles

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bubba:


Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.'

So she wrote down his name, address, medical i nsurance number and told him to have a seat.
 
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.'

 So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles.'
 
So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.'
 
The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??' 
Golf SOLD. Replaced with a Yamaha Raptor 660 quad and loving it. This will be replaced in August with a Raptor 700. Sold the quad now got a Vectra GSI 2.5 V6 and its the nuts.

Brands Hatch massive. MEMBERSHIP ACCEPTED!

Offline Komenda

  • I live here
  • *****
  • Posts: 632
Re: Bubba had shingles
« Reply #251 on: 10 October 2008, 11:23 »

A farmer in Devon has seccessfully grown a field of vibrators. Unfortunately he now has a problem with squatters............................I'll get my coat.

Offline AlanD

  • Serious forum addict
  • *
  • Posts: 9,946
  • MK5 2.0T 16v
Re: Bubba had shingles
« Reply #252 on: 10 October 2008, 12:43 »
Little girl takes a shower with nan, points down and says whats that? Nan says "its my beaver". Next day little girl takes shower with mum and points down and says "I know what that is, its your beaver". "oh yeah" mum replied, and how do you know that? "Nan told me, but I think hers is dead because its tongue is hanging out !"

:D

Offline T1 11JKE

  • GTI forum regular
  • ***
  • Posts: 122
Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #253 on: 04 November 2008, 21:09 »
SPASTIC WALKS UP TO ICE CREAM VAN AND ASKS FOR AN ICE CREAM  'WHAT FLAVOUR'  asks the man  'NOT REALLY BOTHERED' he replies  'IM GONA f**kIN DROP IT ANYWAY' !

Offline TheRaven

  • I live here
  • *****
  • Posts: 619
  • "I am female, I think the boobs are a giveaway..."
Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #254 on: 05 November 2008, 17:24 »
How do you stop a man from drowning?

Take your foot off his head!  :tongue:
Professional Freelance Equestrian Photographer

www.ravenphotography.co.uk
www.ravenphotography.uk

Offline JC

  • 10k hero
  • *
  • Posts: 13,429
  • Back in the North.
Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #255 on: 07 November 2008, 22:22 »

What have Felipe Massa and Jean Charles de Menezes got in common.................................







........................


















both f**ked by a Glock  :laugh:

Offline TheRaven

  • I live here
  • *****
  • Posts: 619
  • "I am female, I think the boobs are a giveaway..."
Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #256 on: 10 November 2008, 16:42 »
I'm always at bloody work...  :sad:

Professional Freelance Equestrian Photographer

www.ravenphotography.co.uk
www.ravenphotography.uk

Offline mongchops

  • GTI forum regular
  • ***
  • Posts: 100
Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #257 on: 10 November 2008, 20:05 »
Cluedo is a lot harder when there isn't a black guy to blame it on.



Police are warning people to be on the lookout for Muslim suicide bombers over christmas,who are set to launch a wave of terror with a new 'Alphabet Bomb'.

If one of them f%ckers goes off,it could spell disaster.



Downs Syndrome jokes seem to be rearing their ugly heads again.



I met a wonderful woman over the internet. She was kind, funny, intelligent. Of course, she turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy.
The sex was a bit crap.



Me and my girlfriend practice safe sex.

She now only comes round when my wife's at work.



My niece died from a lisp. I didn't know you could die from a lisp.

I'll never forget my last words to her though: "What the f%ck's a thnake?"




Offline mongchops

  • GTI forum regular
  • ***
  • Posts: 100
Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #258 on: 10 November 2008, 20:08 »
2 gays, one dies.
When about to be cremated, the widowed gay asks the priest if his partner could be cremated and his ashes made into a curry
“Why?” asks the priest
“Because I’d just like to feel him dribbling out my arse one last time”

 :shocked:

Offline mongchops

  • GTI forum regular
  • ***
  • Posts: 100
Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #259 on: 10 November 2008, 20:13 »
A woman walks into the local police station, battered and bruised with her clothes all torn.

"What happened to you?" asks the sympathetic desk officer.

"Please help me. I've been graped" replies the distressed woman.

"Surely, you mean raped" asks the officer.

"No, there were a bunch of them"


Sorry!    :embarassed: