Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[MrBounce]

What do you get if you cross a pirate with a paedophile?

Aaaarrrrrgghhhh Kelly

[pickles]

my m8 big bob, what a joke pmsl 

[Jack3559]

Artist found dead in home, details are sketchy.

[bully79]

Breaking news: Bobby Brown has been found dead in his hotel room,his suicide note simply said "Two can play that game".

[mongchops]

A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door, a brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak.

Then, a gnarly old boy tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."

[Dannygood]

Whats pink and sits on the door mat ......



witney houston's valentine card!!!!

[VR6_Wherry]

The editor of The Sun says that he is touched by the messages of condolence on Whitney's mobile phone.

[PenguinGTI]

Whats pink and sits on the door mat ......



witney houston's valentine card!!!!

She got one?

[Roverdose]

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the
city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally
stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads,
and have a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high class neighbourhood.....big,
stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of
all... NO PUBLIC TOILETS.  He really, really has to go, after all those pints of
Guinness.

He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent
buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who
says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE
TO GO, and I just can't find a public toilet."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me".  He leads him to a back
"delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which
he opens.  "In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you want."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever
seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges, and huge
beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly
relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really
decent of you... is that what you call 'English Hospitality'?"

"No, sir" replies the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy".

lol radio 4 humour

[mcgee9t2]

whats black, wrinkled and floats in the bath?
no not  whitney houston you sick c*nt..

its trevor mcdonalds nutsack...