Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[MrBounce]

Snow eh? The weather girl just said that she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself "She'll be fcuking lucky with a face like that!"


Since it started snowing all my wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse I may have to let her in...

[mongchops]

When I was a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then, of course, there was that awkward silence as he dressed and left.......

[Guy]

What do you call a woman with two cnuts?










N-Dubz

[Bellend]

What do you call a woman with two cnuts?










N-Dubz

 

Oh wait, Spam, I need a joke.

Well, I am one. 

[golf-sib]

Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world".

Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.

[golf-sib]

The wife just gave me a massive bollocking for throwing a snowball at our son.

To top it off, I've been banned from the maternity ward.

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My mate said, "f**king hell, I was so drunk last night".
I said, "Not as drunk as me"
He said, "Course I was, did you see that girl I went home with? She was a f**king minger"
I said, "That's nothing. Did you see the girl I went home with?"
He said, "Didn't your wife pick you up?"
I said, "Yep"
He said, "Fair point".

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FIFA blames Panorama for 2018 World Cup bid failure.

FIFA says: "England crossed the line."

Ohhh, you f**king noticed that one this time did you?

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"Now that doesn't look like a foot"

Thought the sock.

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BBC News: Earliest Snowfall in 17 years.

And there was me thinking January was before November.

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When traveling in extreme wether conditions the govenment have advised everyone to take with them, a bottle of water, some energy bars, a shovel, a hazard light and a blanket.

I looked a right twit on the bus this morning

[Agreeable Slick]

Yes, because that is going to make the guys and gals in there so much more receptive to talking to the wider forum.

f**king imbecile.

Thought I would come down to your level

 

[Ktuludays]

i was walking down the street yesterday and someone drove past and threw a block of cheddar cheese at me

i thought.......that's mature

[luke]

i was walking down the street yesterday and someone drove past and threw a block of cheddar cheese at me

i thought.......that's mature

walking down the road and someone threw a pint of milk, i thought, how dare he

[Dave_IOW]

i was walking down the street yesterday and someone drove past and threw a block of cheddar cheese at me

i thought.......that's mature

walking down the road and someone threw a pint of milk, i thought, how dare he

had to read that twice and have a think