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Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 140783 times)

Offline VR6_Wherry

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #940 on: 26 November 2010, 13:39 »
Rumour has it that James Blunt will perform at Bernard Matthews funeral.

Details are currently unclear about which song he'll sing....
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Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #941 on: 29 November 2010, 21:34 »
INSOMNIACS - Look on the bright side, only 3 more sleeps until Christmas  :laugh:
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Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline AlanD

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #942 on: 02 December 2010, 09:42 »
A policeman in the UK spots a huge black guy dancing on the roof of a Ford car.

He radios for backup.

"What's the situation?"

"A big fat black bloke is dancing on a car roof."

"You can't say that over the radio" replies the operator, "You have to use
The politically correct terminology"

"OK" he says.

"Zulu...Tango....Sierra."
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Offline Neo Badness

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #943 on: 02 December 2010, 10:04 »
What do fat birds and mopeds have in common?

They're both a great ride until your mates see you on one.
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Offline Adam88

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #944 on: 02 December 2010, 10:15 »
Quote from: Neo Badness on 02 December 2010, 10:04
What do fat birds and mopeds have in common?

They're both a great ride until your mates see you on one.

I own this T-shirt
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I was in a photoshoot with Ms. September for Playboy South Africa

Offline Adam88

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #945 on: 02 December 2010, 10:31 »
A Hippie sits next to a nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her,

She said "NO! I am married to god!!" and gets off the bus disgusted.

The bus driver said "She prays every Tuesday night at midnight in the grave yard, why dont you dress up in a hooded robe go to the grave yard tell her you are God and demand sex?"

The hippie tries this and to his surprise the nun said "Yes, but only if we have anal sex as I want to keep my virginity".

They have passionate bum sex and when they are done the hippie throws off his robe and cries "Ha ha" I'm the hippie!

The nun cries out "ha ha" I'm the bus driver!
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I was in a photoshoot with Ms. September for Playboy South Africa

Offline Adam88

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #946 on: 02 December 2010, 10:35 »
I'm sure most of you guys are aware of the passion gap trend in Cape Town particularly in the Cape Flats region. People have up this sh*t at work..

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I was in a photoshoot with Ms. September for Playboy South Africa

Offline moutains

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #947 on: 02 December 2010, 11:08 »
what do you call a russian billiard player   inoff the red. indian cloakroom attendant mahatma coat.
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Offline Neo Badness

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #948 on: 02 December 2010, 13:49 »
What do you call a Russian with 3 testicals?

Hood Dunicabllocov

What do you call a Chinese man with 1 testical?

Wha Wen Wong

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Offline mongchops

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #949 on: 02 December 2010, 16:06 »
After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
'What's that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked.
'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.
'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.
'YUP, it is' replied the drunk.
'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.
'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, 'You ASSHOLE! It's THREE-FIFTEEN in the MORNING!'

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