Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[asif]

Q. Why did Mr and Mrs McCann cross the road?
A. That's where they abandoned the kids

Q. What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?
A. The Pope died a virgin.

Q. What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Madeleine McCann jokes?
A. Madeleine McCann jokes will get old.

Q. What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter?
A. Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with

A new car being launched in Portugal, with space in the boot for a child. It's called the Renault McCann.

There once was a young girl called Maddie
She had such an irresponsible daddy
Snatched from her bed
She's probably dead
Raped by a Portuguese baddy

[DarnPB]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That is just so wrong!

[golf-sib]

Keep 'em rolling 

[The Mighty Elvi]

[DarnPB]

Pakistani flood jokes .......................................................
 
1. Rumour has it that the floods in Pakistan were started by a suicide plumber
2. There's a new curry been brought out in aid of the Pakistani flood disaster victims. It's a chicken bury auntie, served with nan dead and poppa gone.
3. The BNP have donated 6000 crocodiles to the Pakistani flood appeal.
4. The Queen has sent a letter of condolence to the Pakistani president. She wanted to mention that Britain has plenty of spare pakis if they want some back.
5. I bet little Mohammed isn't having to walk 3 miles fetch water now!  I think I'll ask for my £1 a month donation back.
6. What do you call a Pakistani flood survivor......................Mustafa dinghy.
7. A new film has been made about the floods in Pakistan. It's called ' Water sh!t drown'
8. What goes around comes around. Pakistanis have been flooding Britain for years.
9. From space, Pakistan looks like a giant bowl of coco pops.
9. There is a new diet sweeping Pakistan. It's called swim fast.
10. Charity single just released for the Pakistani flood disaster...........Rain drops keep falling on Ahmed

[DarnPB]

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
 
 
 
 

[mongchops]

My girlfriend threw me out the house the other day after she caught me shagging her sister.
How petty is that, a grown woman jealous of a six year old.

[asif]

My girlfriend threw me out the house the other day after she caught me shagging her sister.
How petty is that, a grown woman jealous of a six year old.

Jeez that is so wrong

[moutains]

a prostitute gets takeken to hospital with a burst appendix she asked the surgeon not to sow up the hole so she could have a bit on the side

[Steve30]

Shagged a girl with a stutter last night. I was lucky. I just managed to finish before she said no