Normally I would try and think of an amusing p$ss take for a "maxxed" car, but that my friends, is the single most worst looking car I've ever seen. I feel genuine sympathy for the simple minded f$ckwit that decided to spunk his money (earnt god knows how) on that.
We are all justified in taking tomorrow off work to sit in a dark room and quietly weep into an original 1989 VW GTI brochure, and if your boss asks, simply send them an email link to that ebay add... They will understand.