Here are some of your great statements:-
1.New longer duration cams would be a waste of time - unless you have ported and flowed your head.
Bollox, cams work, ported head will just make it even better.
2.don't think you emphasized the word 'little' enough
It merely makes your car sound louder
like drilling your back box on your mk2 escort back in the day -
if it adds 1/2 a fallabella pony power I'd be surprised.
Bollox, 1/2 pony power, try about 5%
3.To be honest it's just the noise making you think it's faster mate.
Bollox, more airflow means more power
4. Induction kits are a bit of a mixed bag - like you correctly point out - they work for the older cars - but are useless on the majority of newer cars with fully computerised management systems (which merely recalulate the air/fuel ratio when extra air is admitted).
Thats the idea , more air more fuel, more power. K-jets works the same, ever heard on an air flow meter?
I'm sure i could find many other bullsh!te statements Mr.Shady
