Well, where do I start?
Or if you have the space buy a tank and fill it. I have nearly 4000 litres of diesel at the back of my garage.
That reply doesn't give the impression that you may possibly not be quite your average Joe at all.
A 4000 litre tank would be bigger than my entire garden.
A postage stamp is nearly bigger than my garden come to think of it. I'm not big on gardening by the way.
Knowing, a couple of days ago, that this thread would be forthcoming very soon, lol, I was trying to guess what the title would be and it was something along the lines of....."Ok, here....... 
I think you should get yourself in a GTD, I can't see this particular itch lessening any time soon. 
It's not really an itch, but I do have some weird thoughts in the middle of the night when there's not much to do in my little padded cell.
Good post!
I have recently jumped out of the R (although still own it for another few weeks) into a Jag XE for the same reasons. Got a DTUK box on it and it's a great mile muncher, similar to a GTD. On a Sunday morning I miss my mapped R, but the rest of the week, it's a better all rounder for Norfolk roads
Thanks!
BTW, Andrew @ DTUK used your testimonial and pic on Instagram today!
Is this why you never posted it on the R forum Andy? 
I think you're along the right lines Steve!
You need your head checked pal
That's what I love about the Scots!

(you're not wrong btw)
I was getting about 460 miles a tank in the GTD in the Winter, and i'm getting about 340 miles to a tank in the R (although the R's tank is 9% bigger). Not bad at all, although my commute has gone from 12 miles each way to 20 miles each way, if I was only doing 12 miles in the R, which helps the mpg.
After 7 brand new VW TDIs in a row, I had made my mind up that I needed an R to escape the horrendous tramping (a change of tyres probably would've sorted it). The difference in performance is huge when you really wring the R's neck (even against a GTD with DTUK box on), but a bi-turbo MK8 GTD+/GTDR with 250ps and a tuning box to get it up to 310ps might tempt me back to the black pump in future.
Right now though, I could really see myself sticking with this R 3 or 4 years (having a 5 year warranty helps with the reassurance, mine has dipped into the warranty pot a few times already).
Although the R could be faster with a box, I wouldn't dare add it. Too many people have pushed a GTI or R too far and cooked a clutch or Turbo very prematurely, not a single person here (to my knowledge) has seen a modified GTD fail in the same way. VW's TDI tech does always seem to be generously over-engineered, but the TSIs don't seem to have much more to give without considerable risk.
I love my R, it is the best car i've owned, especially with a tyre change. I was initially underwhelmed with my GTD - hugely linear power delivery and refinement seemed to make it feel so much slower than it actually was, it took the DTUK box to liven it up a bit. You might only get to use that extra 116ps for 5% of your commute, but when you do it always puts a smile on your face.
I get to use the extra 116PS about 0.00% of my commute.
Probably about 1% of my entire annual driving.
I'm getting old, I can't be arsed to rev the engine hard anymore - I like zippy and fun without doing the big speeds.
The trouble with tuning boxes on the R is that the peak figures on the graphs look to be quite high in the range where as with a Diesel the power and torque is slap bang where you're going to use it.
The downside of a tuned Diesel is that it feels really powerful at first, like you're driving a big torquey V8 then all of a sudden you run out of revs!!! Is there a happy medium? Maybe I need a V8 in my life.
I respect my R but I don't love it. I love driving it though! It just feels like an extraordinary powerful but very normal Golf - which in itself is a massive testament to the engineering that tames the power (and indeed the power itself).
Maybe I just need a different hobby instead of playing around with cars? Knitting?
Most likely I'll end up keeping the R a few years and mapping it nearer the end of the warranty, possibly adding some retrofits along the way as a bit of a project.