Bloody hell mate your cars been in the wars. 
I hope you get it sorted soon buddy.
Let me know when your out and about in Wandsworth so I can keep off the road 

Oh that is such bad luck fella, hope it's not to costly...
When I'm out and about and I see a new car(or any other car for that matter) with these sorts of dents I also say to myself "oh look at that car, there not careful...better keep my distance)

But I know it won't stay like that for to long mate

I just hope the third one doesn't coma nocking!!