I have many stories to tell as I've had a long and illustrious (?) career.
One of them is this:
When I was a red-raw scientist in Audiology, I ran a clinic for the very elderly to prescribe hearing aids. It was at this time the NHS had upgraded form the bodyworn (BW) type to the behind the ear (BE) type. The latter were audiologically and acoustically much better and clothes-rub of the BW aids had been eradicated and also because the patient could be bilaterally aided.
One day, I saw this very sprightly and smart 90 year old lady who wished to be upgraded. She was a perfect candidate and I duly processed her request. Three weeks later, I fitted her with her new BE aids. She was delighted and skipped out of the clinic full of the joys of spring.
However, she was back the next day with her 94 year old husband and they both looked ill pleased. I asked her what was wrong, and without going into too many gory details, she told me that the new aids did not suit her way of life (lifestyle we call it nowadays). I was now quite curious and wished to know more. Well I certainly got TMI. She said that every time they were intimate in the Biblical sense, the hearing aids whistled and 'put her husband off his stroke!' Stupidly, 'how so,' I asked. I was now really fascinated by the unfolding saga. She explained to me in graphic detail the positions they adopted during their love making and how he liked to manipulate her. As this rather unseemly and incredible process was being performed the aids themselves fedback and it was very difficult for her husband to regulate them properly as they were behind her ear. I again stupidly suggested she not wear aids during their love making. This was not an option for either of them. They needed to hear the love making chants and grunts which made the whole thing more enjoyable. I went on to suggest alternative positions. She retorted angrily saying that for the last 70 years they had performed in this manner and no hearing aid was going to change that. She further went on to tell me that they had been intimate everyday of their marriage, except when he had to go to war. But as he was a good man, he made up for lost time when he got back. They had 9 children and 30 grandchildren.
So, to cut a long story short, she wanted to have her BW aid back, as this way, 'her husband could regulate her more easily!'
I duly obliged.
Funny, but true.
