essex f##kers

[DAVID ESSEX]

just got my pride and joy back from the mechanics and had it parked out front for 1 night before some little bastard buggered up my nice chrome door handles and nicked my stereo.
fair enough it wasn't a good one and I was going to change it before I got everything sorted but things like this just really f##k me off. I have now invested in a cheapo security camera rigged up to the tv an I dug out my old paintball gun and reloaded it with a little something extra just in case the little sh!ts return.
Obviously I can't carry the gun everywhere so I will have to invest in something a bit more professional.
anyone got any ideas of some good fairly cheap alarms any security gear for my Mk1?
Also to get it fitted how much am I looking out so I'm not taken for a ride by anyone.

[Tucker]

Sorry to here that mate hope you get the twits, there are always people out there that want whaqt you got :-[

Get a nice big dog in there, should do the trick

[DAVID ESSEX]

I dog would be nice but I suppose I have to get serious and get some sort of alarm hooked up. the other thing that pissed me off was the fact that the 1982 radio was original and I still had all the paperwork for it. I was going to stick it on ebay in a few weeks.

[redcarboy]

I had the same sort of problem with the local low life  i now have a security camera fixed to the inside of the front room window which records throughout the night so if the car does get chavved at least i have them on tape.

1.for the law.

2 For a suprise night assault.

I am thinking of linking a remote camera from the drivers side of the car to the house so that i can get an in car picture as well as an external view it's not hard to do cost about ?70 with a 30'foot  transmission radius.

[16v Matt]

Why don't you just put a curse on em count

[redcarboy]

Why don't you just put a curse on em count

HEY no joke i did that once on some one where i used to live.Thinking id like to see him run over my spirit guides told me that he was going to be dealt with as he was a most unpleasnt individual and FOOK ME a few months later he was run over one night about 1:30 am lost a kidney spent a long time in ICU and ended up in a wheelchair for 6 months can't say as i was too sympathetic towards him as was always causing trouble but scary stuff all the same was it me or was it chance who knows?

[Tucker]

If your going to spend money on a alarm then get a good one, no piont in messing about.

Could put a security light on the side of the house to, one of them ones that turn on when you walk past

[Tucker]

Why don't you just put a curse on em count

HEY no joke i did that once on some one where i used to live.Thinking id like to see him run over my spirit guides told me that he was going to be dealt with as he was a most unpleasnt individual and FOOK ME a few months later he was run over one night about 1:30 am lost a kidney spent a long time in ICU and ended up in a wheelchair for 6 months can't say as i was too sympathetic towards him as was always causing trouble but scary stuff all the same was it me or was it chance who knows?

Cant you put one on me saying going to come into plenty of money?

[redcarboy]

Why don't you just put a curse on em count

HEY no joke i did that once on some one where i used to live.Thinking id like to see him run over my spirit guides told me that he was going to be dealt with as he was a most unpleasnt individual and FOOK ME a few months later he was run over one night about 1:30 am lost a kidney spent a long time in ICU and ended up in a wheelchair for 6 months can't say as i was too sympathetic towards him as was always causing trouble but scary stuff all the same was it me or was it chance who knows?

Cant you put one on me saying going to come into plenty of money?

If i could do that then i would be getting myself the next set of lotto numbers an r32 several 16v mk2  a couple of mk3 vr6 a mk1 cab for the summer and a huge gothic castle in scotland by a loch.

[DAVID ESSEX]

Got some news today that made me very happy. I found out through work that a bloke down the road from me had the misfortune of meeting the same bastards as me. about 2 weeks ago he was woken up by the not so sweet sounds of a couple of sh!theads trying to get into merc. Obviously it takes a bit longer to get into a merc than it did to get into my mk1.
well he was woken up and saw what was going on so he ran out the back grabbed a 9 iron (a bit more loft) and legged it out to say hello. no Ive not met this bloke but his brother who I work with is built like hulk hogan so i'm sure this bloke is no dwarf.
well to cut a long story short he came out and took a swing ryder cup style and hit one kid on the back and then kicked him up the arse as he ran off.
I'm then told that my mates brother then realised what he had done and kind of sh!t himself so he ran back into his back garden and then stayed up the whole night to check if they had come back.
even though they weren't caught I'm just pleased that they felt the force of a nine iron.
oh for all those merc fans it's going to cost about ?500 quid for a new lock door handle and respray.
when I asked about the alarm I was told that it had been playing up so it wasn't turned on as the neighbours weren't happy.
don't mess with the essex boys, you all remember the film