Any "idiots guide" to where the PCV and DV are and what to look for (maybe pics if anyone have them to hand) - don't spend any time under the bonnet :embarassed:
If yours is the standard GTI (not Edition30 of Pirelli) then the DV is located on the turbo housing. This is at the rear of the engine, near the bottom, so you need to jack up the car, or get it on a lift.
The PCV is much easier, though you need to remove the engine top cover. It is a black plastic item, on the front edge of the cylinder head above the inlet manifold.