that diode is a really bad idea. it'll light the full beam filament in the main headlight as well, as in the spot. also haveing spot lights on with dip beam will piss other road users off but full beam as will is really takeing the piss.
just as well that dioed will pop really quickly it'll be trying to handel roughly 14 amps the biggest commonly avalible black dioed is 3A
as for cabel size 100w x 4 = 400w. 400w @ 14.4 v = 27A id go for 2.5mm2 to carry the power. and .75 will be more than enough to throw the relays