Do you know anyone with a valve spring compressor? You say that your mate in the trade would do it for you but at a price. Just ask him if you can borrow his spiring compressor over a weekend.
As for skimming the head, that is the best idea. If you opt for just a clean up, don't use wet and dry! It comes in various grades and if you are too keen on cleaning the head, you will remove material as well as the crap. Use scotch brite to clean things up with a little fuel, (wear gloves) or a spirit of some kind. If skimming, ask them to take the minimum off, purely to plane the surface smooth. You then should not have an issue as to which head gasket to use. A standard one will suffice.
Porting...do not use stone grinders. The grit can get lodged in the cylinder head material without you seeing it and cause problems later. Use carbide hi-speed grinders, but be aware, you will take off alot of material very quickly. You do not need to spend megga amounts of money on tooling, compressors etc. A cheaper version of the dremmel can be bought for a fraction of the price, and as you probably will not be using it that much, it will suffice.
You talked about stages earlier in this thread. This does not refer to the tune of your engine, but the torque of the head bolts. I cannot remember the torque figures, but the first stage of torque will be X, the second stage of torque will be Y and the third stage of torque is, I think a further turn of 90 degrees in one movement.
BTW, if you do the valve stem seals yourself, when using the valve spring compressor, wear goggles in case the valve collets decide to take flying lessons into your eyes.
