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1 - Definitely don't coast in N neutral. Handbook advises against and T_T has posted detailed info elsewhere.
2 - No problems, in my experience, are caused to DSG by keeping foot on brake while at standstill. I have done it continually for 52k miles without signs of any problem.
3 - I don't think you can knock it into N but have to use the gearknob button. I think I have changed into N once and immediately shifted out and no problems if just for an instant.
4 - If remapped it would be a sensible precaution to change the DSG oil and filter more often. Frequency is on my list of questions for VW Racing soon.
5 - D-mode shifts the gears at the first rpm opportunity and so keeps your revs low. S-mode is Sports mode and takes your revs to kiss the red zone before shifting gear and shifts down to deliver optimum power and revs. It's also influenced by your use of the brake pedal - All very clever stuff.
6 - Quite safe to use S-mode regularly. For my first 15,000 miles I only used D and S. I used S for overtakes and going fast in the twisties.
7 - Launch Control frequency of use? - Hmm, I don't know for certain but the process will obviously add stress to your transmission by its very nature.
8 - VW vs You using Launch Control? - If it's logged in the ECU you might have some lengthy disputes which can only be settled by the technicalities of law - All complicated and a legal case potentially expensive. VW have much much deeper pockets than you or I.
9 - High bhp won't overstress the DSG but torque over a certain limit will. The well established tuners limit torque on DSG GTI's to about 300 ft lb / 400 Nm. The Ed30 uses the same DSG. High bhp on a quattro with DSG will potentially stress the clutches because there is less 'give'/slippage than with FWD.
10 - How much is the DSG service? - Ask your VW dealer.
11 - How much a replacement clutch pack? - I dunno - They aren't commonly available at this time.
N.B.: I have answered all these questions to the best of my knowledge and stand to be corrected.
Hope this helps,