Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[Guy]

DWARF BUYS A HORSE


A dwarf with a lisp visits a stud farm.

'I'd like to buy a horth', he says to the owner of the farm.

'What sort of horse?' asks the owner.

'A female horth,' the dwarf replies.

So the owner shows him a mare.

'Nithe horth,' says the dwarf, 'Can I thee her eyeth?'

So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's eyes and puts
him down again.

'Nithe eyeth', says the dwarf, 'Can I thee her teeth?'

Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's teeth and
puts him down.

'Nithe teeth... may I now see her eerth?' the dwarf says.

By now the owner is getting a little fed up, but again picks up the
dwarf to show him the horse's ears and then puts him down.

'Nithe eerth,' he says. 'Now... can I see her twot?'

'With this, the owner picks the dwarf up, and, holding him by the scruff
of his neck and the back of his belt, shoves his head deep inside the
horse's vagin@. He holds him there for a couple of seconds before
pulling him out and putting him down.

The dwarf shakes his head and says, 'Perhaps I should weefwaze that:

vvvvvvvvvvv













Can I see her wun awound?

[Tom H]

What's the difference between Madeline Mccann and Mother Teresa?












Mother Teresa died a Virgin

[mongchops]

What do two lesbians do when they are having their periods?

Fingerpaint

[mongchops]

What do you call a fat bird with a yeast infection?


A whopper with cheese.     

[Tom H]

[Uruk Hai]

I know its cruel but it is still funny

[Len]

Jeremy Beadle was going to get a minutes silence at all the Premiership games this weekend, but his family asked for applause instead.
They said he would appreciate a big hand.

[dabill]

in jeremy beadles will, he asked to have his body re-cycled as compost and spread on his own garden.

a spokes person for ITV has hinted that beadle might be back early next autumn in ''watch out, beadles a sprout!''

[Uruk Hai]

Apparantly his cremation is gonna be filmed and shown on ITV, its gonna be called

You've been flamed 

[mongchops]

A lorry driver picks up a woman hitch hiker on the side of the road.

He pulls over on a quiet stretch of road and the woman asks him what he is doing? He asks her if she wants to have sex? She says "I can't I'm on my period."

He says "That doesn't matter."

So they get in the back of the cab and he goes down on her.

A police officer drives by and sees the lorry rocking.

So he gets out and knocks on the door of the lorry.

The lorry driver opens the door and asks if he can help the officer.

The officer asks him what he is doing? He says, licking his fingers, "Eating Pizza!"