Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[DRobbo]

How do you stop a baby from spinning round on a wash line?























Hold up a spade.

[mongchops]

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

























Marry the b!tch.       

[maxamus]

Two cannibals sit down to have dinner.
One says to the other "i hate my mother in law",
the other replies "just eat your chips then"
























I'll get my coat

[mongchops]

Why did the woman cross the road?

Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?

[Uruk Hai]

Two cannibals eating a clown when one says to the other "does this taste funny to you"











Sorry    :embarassed:

[Tom H]

Most women kiss with their eyes closed....which is why it's often difficult to get an accurate description of rapists.

[mongchops]

Little black kid dies and goes to heaven. On receiving his wings he flies to God and says
"Look God, I'm an angel"
God replies "No you aint kid, you're a bat now f*ck off"

[mongchops]

Chaps.

Do you want the wife to give you the best ride you have ever had?

Next time you're tubbing it, do her from behind.

Get into your stride.

Call her by her sisters name and HANG ON!

[raferackstraw]

two men at an airport

'i can't find my wife'

'i can't find mine either, what does yours look like?'

'she's 6ft tall,blonde,big tits,long legs,miniskirt,stockings,high heels and a boob tube, whats yours look like?'
vvvvvv












'f*ck her we'll look for yours'

[DarnPB]

Mr Smith goes to the doctors for the results of his wifes blood test.
Doc; Well we've got the test results back, but there was a mix up between two Mrs Smiths and we don't know who's is who's. One is your wifes and the other is someone else.
Mr Smith; Sorry, thats not good enough. But there must be something serious or you would just say that everything is ok.
Doc; Well, its like this. One of them has aids, and the other has alzeimers disease.
Mr Smith; Oh b@llox, well thats pretty serious. How can we find out which one is my wifes?
Doc thinks for a bit, then says, ' tell you what. Go home and pick up your wife in the car. Take her to the middle of town and drop her off to do the shopping. You go home and wait. If she finds her way back safely, don't f*ck her!