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Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 141959 times)

Offline asif

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1130 on: 25 October 2011, 13:55 »
Had a brief search and the main reason there aren't is because their all sh1te, well the one's i found.
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Offline OakeyDoak16v

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1131 on: 25 October 2011, 14:12 »
Quote from: Len on 25 October 2011, 13:28
Wot no Gaddaffi jokes? :rolleyes:
Whats black with two broken arms?
Colonel Gaddaffi's sun glasses.
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Offline Jord_GTI

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1132 on: 25 October 2011, 14:35 »
The BBC say that Colonel Gadaffi was found with his legs hanging out of a smelly big hole shouting for mercy.
A spokesman for Katie Price said she has never even been to Libya....
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Offline Len

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1133 on: 25 October 2011, 16:06 »
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Offline ortega277

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1134 on: 25 October 2011, 16:34 »
Bloated, gassy feeling in your stomach with acidic belching. Been for a piss four times already, and you're not even tipsy yet. Weird metallic taste in your mouth, even though you watched the barmaid pour it on draught. Hungover the next day, even though you were still perfectly coherent and co-ordinated when you went to bed. Carlsberg do do lager...
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Offline Khare

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1135 on: 25 October 2011, 16:49 »
A father and his 10 year old son are in a shop and they walk past the condom section.

The son asks "dad, what are these?"

The father replies "they're condoms son, men use them to have safe sex"

"oh, right" the son replies, with a thinking look

"yeah I've heard about them at school, in sex education"

He picks up a pack of three and asks his father

"Dad, why are there three in this packet?"

His father replies "because they are for secondary school kids. One for friday, one for saturday and one for sunday".

"oh ok" says his son. He then picks up a pack of six and asks

"Why are there 6 in this one?"

His father says "they are for college boys, two for friday, two for saturday and two for sunday"

"Wow! So who uses these?" Asks the son whilst picking up a pack of 12.

With a sigh, his father replies

"They're for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March, and all the way into December"


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Offline Ant1981

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1136 on: 25 October 2011, 17:24 »
Quote from: ortega277 on 25 October 2011, 16:34
Bloated, gassy feeling in your stomach with acidic belching. Been for a piss four times already, and you're not even tipsy yet. Weird metallic taste in your mouth, even though you watched the barmaid pour it on draught. Hungover the next day, even though you were still perfectly coherent and co-ordinated when you went to bed. Carlsberg do do lager...

You've just described carling mate.
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Quote from: Lewy on 14 September 2011, 23:39
80% of your posts are total tripe, as they are mostly replies to sh1te posts created by the morons that, unfortunately this forum attracts.

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Offline ortega277

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1137 on: 25 October 2011, 19:25 »
To be fair it sums up alot of beer these days.
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Offline VR6_Wherry

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1138 on: 28 October 2011, 16:40 »
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes
and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead until I saw the
red spot on her forehead, and realised she was just on standby.

Had to have a blood transfusion the other day.
All they had left was 2 pints of African blood, and
2 pints of Pakistani blood. It's not as bad as it sounds
I now have a 12 inch cock, and I am top of the housing list..

Took a dyslexic bird home last night,
and she ended up cooking my sock!
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Offline The Mighty Elvi

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1139 on: 28 October 2011, 16:48 »
Quote from: VR6_Wherry on 28 October 2011, 16:40

Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes
and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead until I saw the
red spot on her forehead, and realised she was just on standby.





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