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Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 140863 times)

Offline green_rizla

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The Ultimate "Bird Puller"
« Reply #590 on: 02 May 2010, 16:53 »
Saw this on ebay ...................... Made me grin  :smiley:



THE ULTIMATE GAL PULLER. FORGET YOUR BIG SPOTLIGHTS,NOISY BACK BOX.GO FAST STRIPES ETC.  JUST LEAVE THIS IN VIEW ON YOUR DASHBOARD OR PARCEL SHELF AND SIT BACK WHILE THEY COME FLOCKING. ALL NEW AND UNUSED.12 IN ALL. FOR THE BIG BOYS OR WISHFUL THINKING ONES ARE THESE.  57MM WIDTH NOMINAL. I USED THIS TYPE UNTIL I WAS 14 THEN THEY STARTED TO PINCH ME .


Cheers to All
Peter
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If everything seems under control, then you aren\\\'t going fast enough.<br />(Mario Andretti)<br /><br />MK4 GTI 1.8 Turbo - Jazz Blue <br />Recaro Interior and all the electric stufff !!!!

Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #591 on: 02 May 2010, 18:30 »
Gave my girlfriend an orgasm last night. Ungrateful b!tch spat it out.



My wife has thrown me out for constantly masturbating in bed. She said it was getting on her tits.
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Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline VR6_Wherry

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #592 on: 06 May 2010, 13:15 »
The best engine in the world is the v@gina. It can be started with one finger. It is self lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. It's only a pity that the management system is so fcuking temperamental  :grin:
« Last Edit: 07 May 2010, 13:45 by GTI_Wherry »
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Offline asif

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #593 on: 06 May 2010, 16:01 »
What's the difference between madeline mcann and the icelandic volcano?






Madeline only ruined one holiday.

I'll get my coat :grin:
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Offline asif

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #594 on: 06 May 2010, 16:03 »
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills fan*y
Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*ck cuz Jills a fu*king tranny
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Offline asif

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #595 on: 06 May 2010, 16:04 »
A good one to text your mates.

Recent studies have shown that constantly sucking d*ck takes away the ability to speak.
Now I can understand why always text and never call.
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Offline Shady Pioneer

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #596 on: 06 May 2010, 18:05 »
Quote from: GTI_Wherry on 06 May 2010, 13:15
The best engine in the world is the girl thingy. It can be started with one finger. It is self lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. It's only a pity that the management system is so fcuking temperamental  :grin:

 :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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Offline moutains

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #597 on: 07 May 2010, 13:43 »
young lad goes to work in a morgue an old dear is brought in the youg lad tells his boss the old girl has a prawn between her legs he says WHAT the old girl has a prawn between her legs he says show me. thats not a prawn thats a clitoris lad says well it tastes like a prawn.
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Offline VR6_Wherry

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #598 on: 14 May 2010, 10:52 »
I'm not usually one for posting warnings about potential scams but I had a close miss yesterday.

I walked into B&Q and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.

Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.

Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.

Be careful out there....
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Offline VR6_Wherry

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #599 on: 14 May 2010, 16:18 »
A couple had been married for 50 years.
 
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
 
'I know,' the old man said.  'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..'
 
'Well,' Granny snickered.  'Let's relive some old times.'
 
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
 
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were
fifty years ago.'
 
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
 
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