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Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 140812 times)

Offline Matty-MK3

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #580 on: 21 April 2010, 00:13 »
Quote from: VR6-Joe on 20 April 2010, 23:35
I'm voting for the Volcanic Ash Party in the election. They've stopped more immigration in 5 days than labour have in the past 10 years!


:laugh:
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Golf MK3 1.8 auto and I didn't pay a grand for the "priveledge" :grin:, auto windows all round and a AC. Oh and I've got a luggage net you pricks!

Does that make my willy look bigger?

Oh yeah it's called Helda or something....

Offline mongchops

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #581 on: 21 April 2010, 08:30 »
All flights out of UK air space are cancelled because of the imminent danger of planes crashing due to the volcanic ash cloud. This is with the exception of Air India, Pakistan Airways and all Eastern European flights who's passengers should check in normally. 

Ooer!
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dub-mike

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #582 on: 24 April 2010, 20:14 »
 Eight things girls shud say to men -
1. I'm bored, let's shave my pussy
2. Are you sure you have had enough to drink?
3. That fart was great do another!
4. Of course I swallow, love it!
5. No thats ok You watch porn, Ill wank you after i've done the washing up.
6. Just for a change put it in my arse.
7. How about u get that girl from work to join in?
8. Marriage? No way!

Sadly, Carlsberg dont do girlfriends but Thailand does!
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Offline green_rizla

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #583 on: 24 April 2010, 20:35 »
DISLEXIC PORN...............



Cheers to All
Peter
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If everything seems under control, then you aren\\\'t going fast enough.<br />(Mario Andretti)<br /><br />MK4 GTI 1.8 Turbo - Jazz Blue <br />Recaro Interior and all the electric stufff !!!!

Offline dTEA

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #584 on: 25 April 2010, 23:01 »
Quote from: whiter_than_white on 20 April 2010, 20:46
the liverpool team coach has just entered france on its way to spain, the driver sat doing 70 of the motorways, when rafa turns to the driver and tells him to put his foot down! "But what about all of the speed camera's?" says the driver, to which rafa replies "hey dont worry about that, we need all the points we can get!!!    :laugh: :laugh:
git :grin:
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Edition 30 / T5 T32 Kombi

Offline green_rizla

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #585 on: 25 April 2010, 23:09 »
A bloke goes to the doctor and is surprised to find out that his old family doctor has retired and been replaced by a stunning leggy young blonde............

She says "what can I do for you ???? ....................

Sensing that her being there, instead of the old man she replaced is a bit of a surprise for the patient she continues.............

"Please don't be embarrassed, I'm a professional. Now what seems to be the problem ???"

The bloke loops at her and says.............

"I think my cock tastes funny"
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If everything seems under control, then you aren\\\'t going fast enough.<br />(Mario Andretti)<br /><br />MK4 GTI 1.8 Turbo - Jazz Blue <br />Recaro Interior and all the electric stufff !!!!

Offline dTEA

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #586 on: 26 April 2010, 10:05 »
Wife gets ready in front of the mirror and says to her husband " i'm horrible, fat and ugly, pay me a compliment."  Husband says, "theres nowt wrong with your eyesight."

________________________________________________________

Father and son are in the supermarket.
Son:  "Dad what are these?"
Father: "Thats a 3 pack of Condoms son for Secondary School lads, 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."
Son: "What about the 6 pack dad?"
Father: "They are for University students. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night and 2 for Sunday night."
Son: "What about the 12 pack then dad?"
Father: "They are for married men, 1 for january, 1 for February, 1 for March....."

_______________________________________________________

Farmer in Blackburn see's a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts "Eyup cock, tha dun wanna b drinkin frm theer its full of hoss p1ss and cow sh1te."    The bloke says "i'm from Pakistan, can you speak a bit slower please?"  "OK" he says, " if - you - use- two - hands - my - friend - you - wont - spill - any."
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Offline green_rizla

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Leroy & Winston.................
« Reply #587 on: 29 April 2010, 20:32 »
Leroy says to Winston ....... "I had sex last night with a white woman for the first time. It was pretty lively but it made my eyes sting"

Winston looks at him............... *That'll be the pepper spray".



Cheers to All
Peter
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If everything seems under control, then you aren\\\'t going fast enough.<br />(Mario Andretti)<br /><br />MK4 GTI 1.8 Turbo - Jazz Blue <br />Recaro Interior and all the electric stufff !!!!

Offline green_rizla

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #588 on: 29 April 2010, 20:39 »
I went to a disco last night ............

Everyone was dancing and having a great time................. The dj played "jump around" and we all jumped around ........... then he played "Sit Down" by James and everyone sat down ................

The he played "Come on Eileen" ................... and I got thrown out  :huh:

Cheers to All
Peter
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If everything seems under control, then you aren\\\'t going fast enough.<br />(Mario Andretti)<br /><br />MK4 GTI 1.8 Turbo - Jazz Blue <br />Recaro Interior and all the electric stufff !!!!

Offline asif

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #589 on: 30 April 2010, 13:53 »
Quote from: green_rizla on 29 April 2010, 20:39
I went to a disco last night ............

Everyone was dancing and having a great time................. The dj played "jump around" and we all jumped around ........... then he played "Sit Down" by James and everyone sat down ................

The he played "Come on Eileen" ................... and I got thrown out  :huh:

Cheers to All
Peter
That made me PML I was laughing at my desk at work :grin:
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