Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 140710 times)

Offline Sam

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #440 on: 07 December 2009, 19:17 »
two women on there way back from a night out stop in a graveyard for a pee. one wipes her fanny with her knickers and the other with a wreath. the two husbands were in the pub the next day and the first man says "id better watch my wife, she came home last night with no knickers" the other man says "thats nothing, mine... had a card wedged in her arse saying-we'll never forget you, from all the boys at the fire station

 :grin: :grin: :grin: made me laugh like hell in the pub last night


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Offline Hoke

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #441 on: 09 December 2009, 21:39 »
Three men married wives from different countries.


The first man married a woman from China .

He told her that she was to do their dishes and house cleaning. It took a

couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and

dishes washed and put away.

 

The second man married a woman from Italy .

He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the

cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw

it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes

were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

 

The third man married a girl from England .

He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry

washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything,

but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a

little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix

himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
Grumpy old man

Offline golfvirgin

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #442 on: 09 December 2009, 21:51 »
......and the fourth bloke married a girl from Spain.
Told her to do the dishes etc . The first day he didn't see any results.....or any other fking day. In fact , all he did see was a pile of clothes getting bigger and fking bigger.

 :angry: :angry:

Offline bobbarley

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #443 on: 17 December 2009, 17:02 »

Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #444 on: 17 December 2009, 17:14 »
What's Maddie McCann gettng for Xmas this year?

















Cock. Again.


Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline Martz

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #445 on: 17 December 2009, 17:18 »
What's Maddie McCann gettng for Xmas this year?

















Cock. Again.

Oooo that low dude.

Offline Len

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #446 on: 18 December 2009, 09:15 »
What's Maddie McCann gettng for Xmas this year?

















Cock. Again.

Oooo that low dude.


Many a true word spoken in jest!
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Offline jasonwinslow

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #447 on: 18 December 2009, 16:29 »
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy...

:grin:
« Last Edit: 18 December 2009, 16:31 by jasonwinslow »

Offline robz

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #448 on: 19 December 2009, 08:19 »
lol @ above :D


Believe me its a dead ringer for you! Even says something stupid!

Offline hib747

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #449 on: 19 December 2009, 08:23 »
So I was round my new girlfriends house. We were in the kitchen doing dinner when she asked me to turn on the veg.
Apparently, fingering her disabled sister was not what she meant !!!