Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 141592 times)

Offline DarnPB

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #360 on: 01 June 2009, 11:23 »
Gordon Browns wife is filing for divorce on the grounds that their sex life is non existent. The only thing he is fcuking at the moment is the country!


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Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #361 on: 01 June 2009, 16:32 »
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old cart one cold blustery day.
The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up."
The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said,
"My hands are freezing cold."
The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up."
He did, and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the cart with the daughter.
He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up."
He did, and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, "My thingy is frozen solid."
The girl replied, "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says to her mother, "Mama, Have you ever heard of
a thingy?"
Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they!"


Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline Martz

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #362 on: 01 June 2009, 23:00 »
Air France has announced that we should not worry about flying after todays missing aircraft, after all theres plenty more frogs in the pond!

Offline mumbles

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #363 on: 01 June 2009, 23:49 »
women should not be trusted!!



would you trust anything else that bleeds for a week every month and doesn't die??  :grin:
Wouldn't be fun if it was easy, but does it have to be this much fun?

Audi A4 Sport

Offline Martz

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #364 on: 02 June 2009, 11:09 »
Hang me!

1/ Statistically... 216 Air France Passengers and 12 crew won't get this.

2/ Carlsberg don't do plane flights

3/ Last year I complained bitterly when my EasyJet flight to Paris landed at an airport 30 miles outside the city centre.
    At least I didn't fly with AirFrance though. They really take the piss.

4/ Jesus turned water into Wine.
    Air France turned 228 people into the water.
    Your move Jesus.

5/ Everybody just calm down, frogs can survive in water.

6/ Dear France, our closest neighbour.
    You may think we've forgotten that you sold Exocet missiles to the Argies during the Falklands war...
    Well we haven't, so f**k YOU and f**k YOUR MISSING AIRBUS !
    Lots of Love... Blighty.

7/ What do you get if you cross the Atlantic with a French Airbus?
    Half way.

8/ Pity the French can't learn to keep their aeroplanes in the air for as long as their hands!

9/ Apparently the cause of the Air France crash was all a misunderstanding.
    One passenger shouted, "Hi Jacques" to his mate.
    The crew immediately put their hands up and the plane went out of control!

 :lipsrsealed:

Offline AlanD

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #365 on: 02 June 2009, 11:12 »
lol some of them are quite funny :D

Offline james2

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #366 on: 06 June 2009, 11:37 »
WHATS THE BEST WAY TO GET ON T.V ?                            SIT ON IT                                                           
AGU 1.8T. Mods done: R32 front bumper, turborev smic, ngk platinum spark plugs, uprated pancake pipe, demon motorsport boost hoses, forge 007 dv, forge engine cover, r-tec stage 1 map ,home made cold airfilter ,run on 98 ron fuel and castrol edge 0w 40 oil. Advanti racing alloys.

Offline james2

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #367 on: 06 June 2009, 11:53 »
WHATS THE MOST INTELIGENT THING TO COME OUT OF A WOMENS MOUTH ?                     EYESTINS COCK
AGU 1.8T. Mods done: R32 front bumper, turborev smic, ngk platinum spark plugs, uprated pancake pipe, demon motorsport boost hoses, forge 007 dv, forge engine cover, r-tec stage 1 map ,home made cold airfilter ,run on 98 ron fuel and castrol edge 0w 40 oil. Advanti racing alloys.

Offline johnsgti

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #368 on: 07 June 2009, 12:41 »
Good news for adventurous tourists who want something a bit different! You can now book an Air France flight to see the Titanic!

Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #369 on: 07 June 2009, 17:50 »
David Blaine's record of doing f**k all in a box for 48 days has just been broken by Jade Goody.


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