Car wont start Again!

[16vmk3ash]

Right i dont know what the f*ck is going on, but the f*uckers dead!
Was running great today, came home from work fitted my new discs, went to take it out for a spin and nothing.

The engine briefly turned over, but then started acting as if i had a flat battery (clock reset it self etc.)!
So i put it on a fast charge for 1hr, went out to try it again and now none of the lights on the dash will even light up.

I have checked all the fuses and there fine, cant see any loose wires, so what the F*CK is going on?

[Cupra Turbo]

Starter motor? or maybe god is saying these words

"never laugh at 8v's again ... they are faster than your none starting 16v"

LMAO ... just joking around.

[Overseer]

something silly.. but is the abs warning light or anything else on the dash on?

[16vmk3ash]

its not the starter motor, there is f*ck all power. nothing on the dash will light up, it wont turn over, it wont atempt to turn over its just DEAD

[Overseer]

does the charger show how much juice is in the battery?

[16vmk3ash]

on my battery charger there is a bar going up to 12. When i put it on charge it was reading 6, usually when the battery is full charged it will read around 2.

[Overseer]

you say usually... what it say now?

[Overseer]

ohh and btw.. *do not* trust fuses just by looking at them

use a multimeter, i've gotten all pissed off, and had ones that had such a hairline crack u couldnt see it until u flexed the fuse

[16vmk3ash]

When i hooked it up to my charger it was reading 6, when i came back 1hr later it was reading about 6.2. it had actually lost power whilst it was been charged for some reason!

[16vmk3ash]

Also, the lights on the dash were working before i started charging the battery but not after!