Good morning all,
My morning was going well until I stuck my key in the ignition. Car is a 17 plate Mk 7.5 GTI 230PS with around 65k on the clock and had been running flawlessly until this morning.
When I tried to start the car nothing happened and the following messages came up on the dash.
Error: Brake Workshop!
Error: Electronic Parking Brake
Front Assist Not Available
Error: Workshop! Only leave vehicle in Position P
Error: Cornering Light (AFS)
Check Left Dipped Headlight Beam
Check Right Dipped Headlight Beam
I feel like the car basically told me to F off

Has anyone seen this before?
Unfortunately I have no diagnostic equipment so it will have to go back to the wizards at my local VW garage. The AA is on the way so I'll update the thread with their findings.