Are we not talking about 2different systems here? I've had the "brake or die" flash up without acc. If I was designing an adaptive cruise control system, I wouldn't want the brake lights flashing, like those muppets you see, whose foot must be constantly flicking from one pedal to the other, so it might make sense that for minor speed control, to keep the speed as close to the set point as possible, the system just uses gentle application of the electronic parking brake. Obviously, for the anti collision system, with or without acc, you need full braking power, with brake lights!
Don't know any of this for fact, but it makes some sense to me.
To the OP, as said in previous answers, there is adjustment available in the menu for acc distance to the car in front. If you feel that there is something wrong, that cannot be accounted for by adjustment, or driving style, then, as a safety related system, you should get it checked out by your dealer asap.