Ok, so the VWEO have been on the phone to me. Had a good chat and he's promised my car will be on a boat by latest Weds, and is looking at me to pick it up w/c 23rd Sep. Still a bit of a wait but not too long to go now, hopefully.
He did tell me something very interesting though - the reason for the delays. Now forget all the bs we've been told, this is what he said (which he said he can tell me now as I'm not cancelling

): Basically, its as simple as the UK marketing team opened the books too early. They were told by the factory that the factory wasn't ready to accept orders as they didn't have the components etc - but the UK decided to go ahead and press on with opening the books and marketing the car. Hence the flimsy brochure for example - the factory couldn't give them the information as they didn't have it, but the UK arm pressed forward to get 'something' out. Same with the orders, the factory literally couldn't cope with the number of new orders.
Quite why they couldn't say this in the first place is beyond me. I would have accepted this reason as a marketing f7ck up, and dealt with the wait because I wanted the car, instead of listening to varying degress of bullsh!t for the last 5 months!