So, to summarise the answers to my query on a Golf forum about which Golf to buy...
1 ) Buy a Skoda.
2 ) Buy a Bora.
3 ) Buy a BMW.
4 ) Mk3s are driven by chavs.
5 ) Mk4s are increasingly being driven by chavs.
6 ) Buy a black Mk4 or a Mk2 shell (and presumably sit inside the latter making 'brrrm' noises).
7 ) Buy a Mk2 or Mk3 and fit a bigger engine (despite me saying I already have something quick).
8 ) Buy a Peugeot.
That about it?