Calm down Thomas. Could be something very simple, most likely the battery.
We'll sort it out.

If you don't have access to a good battery, have you tried bump starting it?
When you turn the key do you only get the buzz of the fuel pump priming and then a click?
Does the radio, wipers, lights all work at full power?
Do you have a Mulitmeter to test the battery. (2.99 in the Off Topic Section

)
We need symptoms. Then it's a process of elimination.