I'm about to change from Zen, who seem unable to function p*ss-up in brewery-wise, so thought I'd try Plusnet. I looked up my phone number, but it came back not found, or something. They have an online chat function on their website, so I thought I'd use it.
Here's the transcript.
You're now chatting to Shaun.
Shaun: Hi, my name is Shaun, I'm here to help you with your Plusnet order today.
Thomas: hello, your checker seems to be struggling to find my home phone line
Shaun: Ok
Thomas: we definitely have a home phone line
Thomas: 01983 XXXXXX
Shaun: Click on address not found and then you can manually enter it in Thomas
Thomas: oh no, it finds the address, but denies the existence of the phone line
Thomas: which is with BT
Shaun: There may be a charge of £49.99 to install a new line or get an existing one reconnected, if there is a fee you will know before you complete your order online now.
Thomas: no, there's an existing phone line already there
Thomas: on the number above
Shaun: It would need activating
Thomas: can you please check it your end to see what you get
Thomas: it's active
Thomas: it's with another ADSL supplier
Shaun: The online form will check this
Thomas: yes
Thomas: it's wrong
Thomas: or not working
Shaun: Please call our Sales Number on 0800 432 0200 or 0345 140 0200, thank you. They're open 7am to 10pm Monday to Friday, and 9am to 9pm Saturday and Sunday.
Thomas: please check it yourself and let me know what response it gets
Thomas: can you do that, or are you an automated responder?
Shaun: Your line activation fee will be just £49.99 one off.
Thomas: you're not real, are you?
Thomas: either that or really not very bright
Shaun: That is what the online form states Thomas
Thomas: correct 'Shaun'
Thomas: but it's wrong
Thomas: I'd like you to have a look at why it's coming up wrong
Shaun: Yes that is correct
Thomas: no it's not correct
Thomas: it is wrong
Shaun: Please call our Sales Number on 0800 432 0200
Thomas: but you're supposed to be a specialist
Thomas: why can't you look into this?
Shaun: As i stated line is not active
Thomas: but it is
Thomas: I know it is, it's my phone line
Shaun: You would need to call and speak to our team
Thomas: but I wanted to use this facility to speak to your team
Thomas: isn't that why it's there?
Shaun: Please call our Sales Number on 0800 432 0200 or 0345 140 0200, thank you. They're open 7am to 10pm Monday to Friday, and 9am to 9pm Saturday and Sunday.
Thomas: but you're there now!
Shaun: No we work on line
Thomas: can you tell me if you're a real person?
Shaun: You would need to call the number
Shaun: Yes
Thomas: it's just I was hoping you'd be able to help me - don't you have access to any more than the online form?
Shaun: Sorry no Thomas
Thomas: oh dear
Thomas: I was hoping for something helpful from a Plusnet specialist
Thomas: can you get someone to give me a call to discuss my order on 0777 xxx xxxx please?
Shaun: Unfortunately not
Thomas: that's not very joined up
Thomas: I thought Plusnet were interested in getting my business

Shaun: I am sorry
Now, does anyone know of an ISP which is able to correctly identify its a*se and its elbow in most situations?