Stupid stuff you've done on a night out with the lads

[Bellend]

Over the weekend me and two mates (brothers) went out for a few drinks and a kebab. The driver then decides he doesn't want to drive home so tells his dad we'd stay at a mates. So we do.

But he wasn't there.

Phone him, he's in London for the night meeting his mum there for the night.

So I go to my mate "what now?".

"I dunno I can't drive now" (Only had a 1/3rd of a pint but insurance won't tolerate ANY alcohol).

"Let's just break in" - me joking.

Ah well screw it lets just think about it later. So we have a few then walk back to this guys house where the cars parked. Stupid idiot decides a piece of plasterboard will secure the house from the basement with a bin propt up against it. "We could just sleep here" "let's do it" thinking that one of us three will bottle it. We don't.

So open up the basement exterior entry and jump down, get in and have a sleep while laughing. Wake up next morning "wtf we do that for?" 

Place is a total wreck (not due to us) and I decided that the boiler leaking into a bucket which is now overflowing and dripping onto a plug board which is live and sizzling isn't a great idea.

So really, we saved a housefire. Go us. 

What bout you lot?

[delirical]

"I dunno I can't drive now" (Only had a 1/3rd of a pint but insurance won't tolerate ANY alcohol).


Urmmm your mate needs a slap! 1/3rd of a pint is a couple of gulps..

Anyway, about 10 of us started a night out in Maidenhead and then jumped in a couple of taxi's to go to Vanilla in Windsor, we were all quite pissed when we got there and dying for a slash, before entering my mate noticed a small balcony next to Vanilla, just literally above and round the corner. My drunken mate decided to piss off the balcony and manged to piss all over the bouncers head, i somehow managed to get blamed for it and wasnt allowed in funnily enough, i am suprised we didnt get beaten up!!
Half of us had to find somewhere else to go drinking having already spent £10 on tickets and the other half of the group were allowed in. Bollocks!

[mwep201081]

Urmmm your mate needs a slap! 1/3rd of a pint is a couple of gulps..

1/3rd of a pint is a couple of sips. a gulp is half a pint. 2 gulps is a pint #FACT

[Bellend]

"I dunno I can't drive now" (Only had a 1/3rd of a pint but insurance won't tolerate ANY alcohol).


Urmmm your mate needs a slap! 1/3rd of a pint is a couple of gulps..

Anyway, about 10 of us started a night out in Maidenhead and then jumped in a couple of taxi's to go to Vanilla in Windsor, we were all quite pissed when we got there and dying for a slash, before entering my mate noticed a small balcony next to Vanilla, just literally above and round the corner. My drunken mate decided to piss off the balcony and manged to piss all over the bouncers head, i somehow managed to get blamed for it and wasnt allowed in funnily enough, i am suprised we didnt get beaten up!!
Half of us had to find somewhere else to go drinking having already spent £10 on tickets and the other half of the group were allowed in. nuts!

Insurance won't tolerate it if he has half a mouthful, not over the limit but he's not allowed any at all.

  How did you get the blame for that one?

[delirical]

I'm not sure how i got the blame, i was going for a piss as well but was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, think my mate hid round the corner.

I doubt a 1/3 of a pint would even show up if he were to be breathalised, fair enough to him tho, its not worth messing about with drink driving.
My friend i refer to above crashed his car on Saturday night from drink driving and almost killed himself as he had to be cut out of his car  it's his birthday today, dont think he's really in the mood for celebrating....

[Bellend]

I'm not sure how i got the blame, i was going for a piss as well but was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, think my mate hid round the corner.

I doubt a 1/3 of a pint would even show up if he were to be breathalised, fair enough to him tho, its not worth messing about with drink driving.
My friend i refer to above crashed his car on Saturday night from drink driving and almost killed himself as he had to be cut out of his car  it's his birthday today, dont think he's really in the mood for celebrating....

  Fair enough.

Ah sorry to hear that mate, stupid drink driving.

My insurance is the same, in my head it's simple, drink OR drive. No "I'll just have one" or whatever, what's the point? I like leaving the car at home so I have to get the train back home the next day rather then driving it in the morning.

Just not worth the risk.

[The Mighty Elvi]

I'd imagine your friend would look rather foolish if he and you, had been arrested and charged with breaking and entering/criminal damage.  All for the sake of a mouthful of alcohol. Which btw I would guess the insurance company would have never found out about for several bleedin' obvious reasons.

[dom]

I'd imagine your friend would look rather foolish if he and you, had been arrested and charged with breaking and entering/criminal damage.  All for the sake of a mouthful of alcohol. Which btw I would guess the insurance company would have never found out about for several bleedin' obvious reasons.

 

[Bellend]

I'd imagine your friend would look rather foolish if he and you, had been arrested and charged with breaking and entering/criminal damage.  All for the sake of a mouthful of alcohol. Which btw I would guess the insurance company would have never found out about for several bleedin' obvious reasons.

Probably. He said we could stay there aslong as his mum never found out.  but we didnt have a key (my mate has a key but was at home).

As for your suggestion, what happens if we had a smack? You fool.

[Mikester]

In my head it's simple, drink OR drive. No "I'll just have one" or whatever, what's the point? I like leaving the car at home so I have to get the train back home the next day rather then driving it in the morning.

Just not worth the risk.

Possibly the most sensible thing you have ever posted.

+1!