VW are bloody cr@p with their exhaust studs and nuts - specifying poxy M8 studs and nuts - it makes them extremely prone to wasteing away over time, so 12mm nuts become 11.5mm nuts and the exposed steel threads crumble away..... that said you lot have got it easy vs Waterboxer studs and exhausts on T25 Transporters

I'd be inclined to put some meas or loctite on the thread going into the head.
No, it'll burn off and the nuts will come loose.
Will copper not go soft and break up?
No, it'll waste very similarly to the steel studs.
I would of thought stainless steel would be better as the fixings won't seize, so won't snap.
They'll shear very easily instead. Stainless steel fixings are generally a lot softer and this isn't the right situation to use them. Show me the tensile rating on the stainless fixings. The peened copper nuts with the 8.8 studs are essential in this application to keep the manifold up tight.
You should use the correct VAG spec plain washers, too as standard plain ones are generally shyte quality and considerably thinner than the VAG ones.