You're missing out on the latest mate, the GTD is faster than the GTI, did you know that ?
honestly when i read that yesterday i was p1ssing myself! how can a taxi be faster than a proper car?!? 
It's obvious - let me explain. Taxis have to carry three fat blokes (plus driver - also fat) home from the pub. This is where the GTD's Golf R-equalling torques trumps the weedy GTI. If you are skinny, ugly and thus alone, you might just keep up in your GTI. 2WD makes the GTD much lighter than an R so it must be faster still. So, not only are GTD's faster, they are also for popular people - hence why most are the vastly superior 5 door model. DSG gives you valuable extra time to talk to all your extra mates, without having to worry about all that gears thing. Although unrelated, I should mention here that farmers also have more friends than average.
In summary, GTI's are obviously for losers who (I am told) might enjoy 'driving' their sister. Unless of course you are female, in which case you look cool and beautiful and can I have you phone number please?