The former, you just flick the light-control stalk as if you were flashing the lights for a moment, immediately after you take the ignition key out. Then the lights will come on when you open the door. There's a function in the MFD to extend the time they stay on for - default seems to be 10 seconds.
The latter, the car should just do it, on the factory settings, if it's parked in the dark. What happens when you operate the remote unlock? Do the lights not come on when the indicators flash? They should. Again, the default is 10 seconds and you can extend this.
Rolfe.