What's the most disgusting thing you've ever done?

[bertmort8]

on a stag do got plastered then get to hotel with the rest of the guys.

few of us go back to the room and take it in turns to go to the toilet and wank off and leave our hot sticky love pi$$ in a cup. once we were all done we then poured it into a johnny then hooked it up on the bunk bed where the stag was gunna be sleeping

we then pricked it afew times to let it dribble out. the stag was that smashed he didnt even realise, woke up with a facial haha

could have been better if we had shaved our pubes and thrown them onto his face in the morning or thru the night ...monkey face

[omex_uk]

to be honest im sure all of you have done many dirty things that you just cant remember.

some of the funniest ones i can remember is the pube splif, puking over the bar onto the barmaid, pull the pig (but go all the way) etc. none of those were me but mates.

funnyist one i did. i was soooo drunk and a girl at a party passed out and piss her self in the middle of the room. i wonder in, mutter something like "if shes drunk enough to piss her self i can piss on her". whop out my cock and take a long beer piss on her. then stumble off 

i dont remember doing this but ive been told from many different people. funny sh!t

[tweed]

I have laughed so much at is thread. keep the storys coming.

[tweed]

I once woke up with a flattened, 6 month old rotting rat on my chest with a dildo in my mouth. looked up and two of my mates where standing over me pissing themselfs. Spat the dildo out and said whats the f**king smell. I then found the rat, it was as thick as paper, stunk so bad I had to throw my top in the bin and have a shower straight away.

[jonnyb]

I got sh!tfaced in Malia last year, went for a swim to a local island (with a few mates and lasses) got back to the beach, shorts were gone.  So i walked back to the hotel in nothing but my boxers.  Realised i didn't have the keys so fell asleep ouside the door, curled up covered in sand.

Next day, down by the pool a few girls said, "are you the guy who was passed out, outside his room?"  I replied, Yeah.  They said, "O great! our mate stuck his cock on your forehead and took a picture"

Not a proud moment, but did make a cool Facebook profile pic for some time

[R32UK]

OMG.. how could I forget this one!!!

Goes back to when I was about 16/17 and used to go play football with a bunch of mates every Friday evening. After we had finished our game, a group of us would always get together and smoke/drink for a couple of hours then go to our local sit-in takeaway for some grub. After a couple of drinks and big fat biftas the group would always naturally break up into smaller groups as we made our way there.


On this occasion the group of friends I was with got to the take away first (which was split into 2 rooms) so we occupied the back room where the owner would let us drink and smoke. Anyway one of the smoker lads had lost his big bag of green stuff so we knew he would come and join us in the back room (he wasnt liked very much this lad ).

With it being early November one of the lads has a couple of loose bangers with him, so those of you remember bangers will probably remember the 'genie'. Which involves emptying out the contents and lighting them to give a geniee effect (you can probably see where I'm going with this ). Anyway we built a nice big fat one ensured the middle of the contents contained a nice generous helping of black power

This actually proved to be a smart move as when he was handed the unlit joint he refused to light it sighting something suspisious about it. Think it may have been me pi$$ing myself in the corner . The roller then sparked it up and took a few big pulls before passing it back over to him...  with every drag the 4 of us were stitches.. saying that we were laughing about something that had happened earlier.

Now I probably wouldnt ever do this again now knowing how dangerous it could be, but at the time fuelled by a few MD20/20's and washed down with a couple of Super 'T's its easy to go along with.... but when he took that last pull it really did take us all by suprise.

After the smoke cleared he had what looked like a little scrap of paper in his hand and the most shocking look on anyones face you could ever imagine!! which remained for a good 30sec before he snapped out of it.

That was some seriously funny sh1t even if i do say so myself... probably up there with one of the best I have done!!   


p.s. Dont try that at home kids

[jonnyb]

haha, i love this thread, some very funny stuff coming out here lol 

[MrBounce]

  ha ha R32's post reminded me of when me and my mate bought some fireworks when we were about 15. We got some big 4rse bangers with solid fuses and some airbomb rockets and went under Clacton Pier to set them off. And found a whole load of dead fish which the fishermen had left there.

Fish + Big Solid-fuse Banger stuffed in its mouth as far as it will go (all the way in) + lighter = F*cking mess. Fish + Airbomb rocket + lighter = one of the funniest and messiest things I've seen in a long time. We also depth-charged the ornamental fishpond in the gardens on the top promenade. Stunned fish really do float to the surface!!!

 

[VW BUSH]

sh!t in a Milk bottle

[Ninja]

Was VERY ill once on my way back from school, and literally had to jump over a train station fence to answer the call of nature. Used my maths book as loo paper. Good choice I reckon.