GolfGTIforum.co.uk

Model specific boards => Golf mk6 => Topic started by: Rolfe on 07 May 2010, 19:40

Title: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Rolfe on 07 May 2010, 19:40
Bizarre accidents with the MkVI, we have a winner.

(http://www.b5-dark-mirror.demon.co.uk/duck1.jpg)

(http://www.b5-dark-mirror.demon.co.uk/duck2.jpg)

I was at an election count last night, and didn't leave till 4am.  I had a drive of almost an hour and a half to get home (it's a big constituency), and dawn was gradually breaking as I travelled.  Somewhere the other side of Lockerbie, I came over a small rise to see (momentarily) two wildlife specimens apparently necking in the middle of the road.  I had no chance to stop, and they had no chance, period.  I knew I'd killed whatever they were.

By the time I got home I'd almost forgotten about it.  I garaged the car and went in to bed.  This afternoon I went out to take the election stickers off the windows and go fetch a prescription from the chemist.  I was rather taken aback to realise I'd driven all the way from Lockerbie with a dead duck wedged in the front grille.

The good news is that the damage is only to the plastic honeycomb grille and a new one is on order.

Rolfe.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: dubcruiser on 07 May 2010, 19:45
That's Sunday roast sorted then!!  :grin:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 07 May 2010, 19:45
Love can kill you or set you free! :smiley:
Are you going to cook the poor bird?
Beautiful picture though slightly morbid.
Suits the political landscape. :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Rolfe on 07 May 2010, 20:02
There's an SNP badge visible in one of the shots, and I'd just like to say this is by no means to be taken as a metaphor.   :evil:  The SNP increased its share of the vote by a couple of percentage points and held all its seats from 2005.   (And anybody who thought we could hold Glasgow East was in cloud cuckoo land.)

Rolfe.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Jimble on 07 May 2010, 20:06
Can i have it? you know you can't eat your own roadkill! :evil:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 07 May 2010, 20:07
Can i have it? you know you can't eat your own roadkill! :evil:

She will you know. :evil:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: gossa on 07 May 2010, 20:09
That is frecking awesome Rolfe!!
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: GtiJames on 07 May 2010, 20:17
There's an SNP badge visible in one of the shots, and I'd just like to say this is by no means to be taken as a metaphor.   :evil:  The SNP increased its share of the vote by a couple of percentage points and held all its seats from 2005.   (And anybody who thought we could hold Glasgow East was in cloud cuckoo land.)

Rolfe.

nice duck!

re snp increase in vote... i take it a few people came off the dole then, not enough in my opinion looking at the labour vote  :sick:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: GolfTi on 07 May 2010, 20:22
Missed you Rolfe.

I'll give you a fiver for the Duck if it's still fresh.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 07 May 2010, 20:26
Missed you Rolfe.
I'll give you a fiver for the Duck if it's still fresh.

She'll probably give you the duck if you fit her grille! :grin:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: tezyuk on 07 May 2010, 20:50
Quack quack  could of been worse
lucky its only the grill :grin:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 07 May 2010, 20:58
Quack quack  could of been worse
lucky its only the grill :grin:

I'll have to starve as I like grilled duck. :sad:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: PenguinGTI on 07 May 2010, 21:23
Shame about the duck
...

however...


Truly magnificent photo  :grin:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 07 May 2010, 21:24
What happened to the other very s!utty duck?
Don't these birds read the highway code?
Sorry about your grille.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: DDRFan on 07 May 2010, 21:29
I know I shouldn't really laugh but this has got to be the funniest thing I will ever read on this forum. LOL

a few years ago i hit a pigeon on the motorway, i vaguely remember the pigeon had tried to fly across but a tall lorry that I was following had hit it and seems like it instantly killed it, and the dead lifeless carcass just dropped towards my car. i instantly knew it was going to hit me, but i daren't change lanes because i wasn't fully aware whether there was traffic in my blind spots, so i just sort of carried on driving and then cringed as the pigeon hit somewhere around the front bumper.

i got to work and checked, there seemed to be no visible damage to the car, no more than before anyway!
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Rolfe on 07 May 2010, 21:38
What happened to the other very s!utty duck?
Don't these birds read the highway code?
Sorry about your grille.

It's almost certainly a two-dimensional silhouette on the road between Lockerbie and Lochmaben.  I think they were courting.  I just got a very quick impression of two figures sort of rearing up, confronting each other, then bang-bang.  I wasn't even sure it was birds - I wondered if it could have been boxing hares.  I had intended to check the car when I got home, but it was about 5.15am and I was totally zonked.  I thought there might be a few feathers.  I didn't expect an entire mallard!

Rolfe.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 07 May 2010, 21:40
Now who's the tough bird! :laugh:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 07 May 2010, 21:54
How much does the grille cost?
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Rolfe on 07 May 2010, 22:00
Quite honestly, I didn't ask.  I'll find out when I make the booking to have it fitted.  The car was already provisionally scheduled to go in for a couple of days to have a nasty scratch sustained during the deep snow fixed, and I just called into the garage to ask if a grille could be ordered for fitting at the same time.

I'm feeling a bit resigned about it.  Presumably nasty surprise #3 is still awaiting.

Rolfe.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 07 May 2010, 22:04
Quite honestly, I didn't ask.  I'll find out when I make the booking to have it fitted.  The car was already provisionally scheduled to go in for a couple of days to have a nasty scratch sustained during the deep snow fixed, and I just called into the garage to ask if a grille could be ordered for fitting at the same time.
I'm feeling a bit resigned about it.  Presumably nasty surprise #3 is still awaiting.
Rolfe.

For God's sake don't even think on these lines. Bad karma. :lipsrsealed:
Let's say the result of the National Election is the 3rd surprise which ever way you look at it! :smiley:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Snoopy on 07 May 2010, 23:05
What happened to the other very s!utty duck?
Maybe it ducked?
(thats worse than the other posts on here  :lipsrsealed:)
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: denyason on 08 May 2010, 00:43
funny :grin:  i'd leave it there till it rots!!!  u could say its some sort of trophy, because the car is a 'beast'.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Rolfe on 08 May 2010, 22:28
I should maybe explain that the photos have a little unpremeditated artistic licence.

When I saw the duck wedged in the radiator grille, my first instinct was to pull it out, and deposit the corpse in the bin.  I then left on a short errand, and while I was out I called into the garage to report the damage and request the necessary part be ordered.  While I and the garage owner were examining the grille, we removed a couple more bits [ETA: of the grille, not the duck!] that were loose inside.

It was only as I was returning home, I thought about telling the forum, and then I realised the natural response would be, pictures or it didn't happen.  So when I got back, I retreived the corpse from the bin and replaced it for the photoshoot.

It doesn't look quite the same.  It was originally more wedged, and I think the head might have been inside and the arse sticking out.  But it looks better like this.  And it's close enough!   :evil:

Rolfe.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 08 May 2010, 22:31
You are de best! :laugh:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Jimble on 08 May 2010, 22:33
LMFAO!!!!! :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 08 May 2010, 22:37
I am now reacting as I got choked laughing and the wine just dripped out of my nose. I am a bit merry and I thought I was bleeding!
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: topher on 08 May 2010, 22:38
It was only as I was returning home, I thought about telling the forum, and then I realised the natural response would be, pictures or it didn't happen.  So when I got back, I retreived the corpse from the bin and replaced it for the photoshoot.

:grin:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Jimble on 08 May 2010, 22:39
Rolfe, you're a legend! That's gonig the extra mile for the forum! :laugh:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 08 May 2010, 22:42
When I die, Rolfe will be my undertaker.
Such respect for the dead is unheard of.
And she's got a black car!
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Jimble on 08 May 2010, 22:51
Don't say it's black! it is definately blue! she's very proud of that fact! :laugh:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 08 May 2010, 22:56
Don't say it's black! it is definately blue! she's very proud of that fact! :laugh:

I'm dead meat now!
Same colour as Snoops's lubed wagon, I presume.
Now, if it was Snoops's car, the duck would have slipped off beautifully.

PS: OF! It's the darker blue, is it not? Nearly black at night.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Rolfe on 08 May 2010, 23:35
Blue Graphite, you peasant.   :rolleyes:

Rolfe.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: PenguinGTI on 08 May 2010, 23:37
Well am1w and some others have been responsible for a couple of threads entitled "what do you give your mk6 to drink"

I think this thread should be entitle "what do you give your mk6 to eat"  :laugh:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 08 May 2010, 23:44
Blue Graphite, you pheasant.   :rolleyes:
Rolfe.

 :laugh:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Rolfe on 08 May 2010, 23:51
Good point.  Pheasant was my best guess as to the species of the casualty until I saw the actual mallard.  The roads round here are positively infested with the damn things.  They breed them to shoot, and only hit about 80%, leaving the others flapping around in everybody's hair.

Rolfe.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: am1w on 08 May 2010, 23:56
Good point.  Pheasant was my best guess as to the species of the casualty until I saw the actual mallard.  The roads round here are positively infested with the damn things.  They breed them to shoot, and only hit about 80%, leaving the others flapping around in everybody's hair.
Rolfe.


I think you should take up shooting and not use your beautiful blue car as a shotgun replacement. It's a rather uneconomical way of controlling wildlife. :laugh:

PS: You should post those pictures on the www! Classics in the making.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Saint Steve on 09 May 2010, 09:50
Quality :laugh:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Snoopy on 09 May 2010, 10:37
Blue Graphite, you peasant.   :rolleyes:

Rolfe.
Am1w your getting in more trouble  :grin:

Rolfe, i think you need this mod for your car

(http://i918.photobucket.com/albums/ad28/p3asa1/2010-04-09182529.jpg)
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: simonpolly on 09 May 2010, 16:41
When i shouted DUCK i meant swerve. :grin: :laugh:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: DDRFan on 09 May 2010, 23:16

PS: You should post those pictures on the www! Classics in the making.
I guarantee somebody will say "fake".
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Wayne on 09 May 2010, 23:40
Quality  :smiley:
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: Rolfe on 09 May 2010, 23:52

PS: You should post those pictures on the www! Classics in the making.
I guarantee somebody will say "fake".

As I said above, that would be right, too.  I should really have taken the photographs before I pulled the corpse out of the grille, but I didn't think of it at that point.  Then when I did, I didn't bother recreating the exact original positioning, which if I recall correctly was arse-out.  Also, some loose bits of grille had been tossed aside as well.

It's more artistic, but it has lost a degree of realism.

Rolfe.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: denyason on 10 May 2010, 00:18
hey rolfe, did u eat it? it would of been a waste of some roast duck.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: DDRFan on 10 May 2010, 00:35
...
It's more artistic, but it has lost a degree of realism.

Rolfe.
I was just kidding :)

i showed the photo to a guy at work and he told me about his episode in his old Ford Focus and a pigeon... somehow driving along he decapitated a pigeon, at the time he hit it the body just seemed to bounce off the bonnet, but after a while the bonnet seemed to be a bit loose, so at home he opened the bonnet to find the pigeon's head roll off onto the floor. Somehow the head must have got jammed inbetween just under the bonnet and the top part of the grille.

These are things that you would never believe unless you actually experienced it yourself.
Title: Re: Quick! Get the orange sauce!
Post by: andykram on 10 May 2010, 19:37
Ducks eh?
I saw three of the daft duckers waddle into the hole in the wall foyer of HSBC on Park Row in Leeds yesterday. Somehow they activated the automatic door opening when all three landed in front of it and they promptly walked in. P*ss funny.
And if you're quick Rolfe they might still be there - you could eat one or maybe shove it through the other side of your grille. Two ducks will always be better than one!!!!