Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 140767 times)

Offline mongchops

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1030 on: 02 March 2011, 19:34 »
I was driving home from work today, on the motorway.

Glancing to my right I noticed an attractive business woman overtaking me at a good 90mph, eyes fixed firmly on her rear view mirror as she was putting on her lipstick!

I was so astonished I almost spilled my beer over my mobile phone.

Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1031 on: 04 March 2011, 19:25 »
I heard that Justin Bieber has a 10 inch c0ck.

It's in his 4rse and belongs to Usher.


Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline fozziie

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1032 on: 06 March 2011, 19:21 »
I heard that Justin Bieber has a 10 inch c0ck.

It's in his 4rse and belongs to Usher.

it doesn't count as a joke if its more than likely a true story

Offline Jay

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1033 on: 08 March 2011, 18:21 »
How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take?













































Enough to kill Two and a half men.
Passat B5.5 2.3 V5 170, with all the extras.

Want some online storage? Click here to sign up for a Dropbox account.

But for the purest engine experience, displacement has no replacement. All other methods are simply attempts to artificially recreate the benefits of displacement.

Offline Adam88

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1034 on: 10 March 2011, 10:04 »
What do you call a msulim girl that cant sing?



shehummmmmmmm
I was in a photoshoot with Ms. September for Playboy South Africa

Offline mongchops

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1035 on: 11 March 2011, 12:11 »
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple
bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around
his throat.
Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to YOU?"
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a
difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.
We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed
one of the cows had something white at its rear end."
"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf
ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of
the cow's arse.
Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!'"

"I don't remember much after that "


Offline mongchops

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1036 on: 11 March 2011, 12:15 »
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife, Carolyn, that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.
Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.
Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, 'Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live maybe we could make love again?'
Carolyn agreed and again they made love.
Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realised he now had only eight hours of life left.
He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said,
'Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die.'
She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.
Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours.
He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. 'Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we....?'
His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said,
'Listen Barry, I'm not being funny....





...but I have to get up in the morning and you don't.


Offline myvr6isarocket

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1037 on: 11 March 2011, 21:06 »
Rescuers in japan have called in Elton John, George Micheal and Graham Norton to help search through the rubble for injured victims. Their work could prove invaluble as they are experts in seeing japs eyes covered in sh!t

Offline mongchops

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1038 on: 12 March 2011, 13:45 »
I was going to donate to the relief fund in Tokyo til I watched telly and saw a bloke with two motorboats in his front garden.

Offline Dannygood

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #1039 on: 14 March 2011, 09:49 »
I know how the japanese feel .......
...after 30 aftershocks icant find my house either!!!