Author Topic: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!  (Read 140837 times)

Offline N900 MJT

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #860 on: 11 November 2010, 13:45 »
Your ridiculous little opinions have been noted.


pmt?  :lipsrsealed:
No not PMT,im 33 weeks pregnant and have turned into a b!tch for the last 7 months lol  :evil:
Hence the reason i dot find the lilly allen joke all that funny either

Prob not a good idea to be searching through a thread that states 'may offend' and then complain that you don't agree with a joke

Offline mcgee9t2

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #861 on: 11 November 2010, 13:57 »
Can youse STFU or post a joke.

Offline MrBounce

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #862 on: 11 November 2010, 18:42 »
A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds couple in bed.  He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.   While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up & goes into the bathroom.
 
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:  'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!  He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.  I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do what ever he tells you.  Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.  This guy is obviously very dangerous.  If he gets angry, he'll kill us both.  Be strong, honey. I love you!'

His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck.  He was whispering in my ear.  He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.  Be strong sweetheart. I love you too.'




Keeping schtum. Mostly.

Offline luke

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #863 on: 11 November 2010, 23:18 »
Xbox live... the only way nerds get invited to parties.
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2018 t roc sel 1.6tdi

Offline haf1zur

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #864 on: 12 November 2010, 06:47 »
Why did the EDL supporter leave home

His mom got a tan

Offline haf1zur

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #865 on: 12 November 2010, 07:53 »
Can we have a moment of silence for the victims of 9/11.

Yes all the girls tht lost their boyfriends to C.O.D on the 9th of Nov.

Offline haf1zur

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #866 on: 12 November 2010, 07:54 »
I tried to flash an oncoming driver to warn her of a cop.... but I think it was too dark for her to see inside my trench coat!.

Offline VR6_Wherry

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #867 on: 12 November 2010, 13:22 »
A 3-year -old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. "Mum, he asked, are these my brains?"
"Not yet" she replied....

Offline MissGTI

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #868 on: 12 November 2010, 13:44 »
Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming
 :shocked:   :shocked:
Just be dub to me

Offline moutains

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Re: Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!
« Reply #869 on: 12 November 2010, 13:51 »
guy goes to the doctor says when he has a crap it comes out the shape of chips the doc asks him to go behind the curtain and crap in a bowl so he could see sure enough the crap looks like chips the doc says lean over my desk and get your trousers down the doc shouts nurse get me a big scissors the man asks what hes going to do doc says cut your string vest its to long