Jokes section - **May Offend** try not to spam too much!!

[Jack3559]

Met a German vegetarian the other day. He seemed like a bit of a pessimist.



Said he feared the wurst.

[AnilS]

Try not laughing

http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=27735&page

[mumbles]

why would you wrap a hamster up in selotape?

So that it doesn't burst when you fcuk it.

[whiter_than_white]

Bought the new premiership tool box from B&Q today, taking it back tomorrow though as there are no fackin hammers!! 

[steve113]

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, gulps it down, looks in his pocket then orders another one.

He gulps that one down, looks in his pocket again, then orders another one.

He does this about 7 or 8 more times when the bartender finally asks, Every time you finish a drink you look in your pocket. What's in your pocket?

The man replies, Oh... I have a picture of my wife in there. I drink until she looks good, then I go home.

[VR6Lee]

Half the country is now covered in a giant ash/dust cloud.

ArseLOL have apologised for opening their trophy cabinet!!!! 





Go's and get's pop corn and waits for backlash 

[mongchops]

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador. ""F*ck that" says Mick"have you seen how many of their owners go blind"

[MrBounce]

I walked into a car showroom last night.

I said to the salesman, "My wife would like to talk to you about the Volkswagen Golf in the window."

He said, "We don't have a Volkswagen Golf in the window."

I said, "You do now."

[Uruk Hai]

Apparantly if Ryan Giggs wife leaves him she will only get half of everyting but she'll still have 6 more premiership medals than Steven Gerrard 

[VR6Lee]

1) You can say what you like about paedophiles, but at least they drive slowly around schools.

2) One of my friends has a butler with no left arm. Serves him right.

3) I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse. I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.