Much like me Dave. I don't need the extra performance that an M135i gives (although I have to say in the wet AWD would be useful), and for me an M135 lite with around 240-260ps and FWD would probably been more what I would have been after (I don't think that engines coming for a while).
I don't seems to have the problems that you have with the noise in the GTI. Either I'm going deaf (at 57) or it just doesn't bother me or my car is genuinely quieter than some ? I remember when I specc'd the GTI I baulked at the neat £33k list price, and it was only after some substantial discount bringing it down to the £27.5k mark that I started to feel better about it.
I've driven the M135i and it's a glorious hot hatch, brilliant equipment as standard and as options, fast, quiet and civilised with great (at least it appears so) build quality. But as good as it is, is it worth £44k or £38k after discount - I just don't know. I mean i'm at a time in my life where I can afford it, and TBH, with what's been happening in the world this year with COVID-19, part of me still thinks to hell with it, just get it, I could be dead this time next year (not wishing to be morbid) so enjoy life whilst you can, but that nagging part of me keeps comparing the costs against the current GTI and somethings just stopping me.
Sure the M135i (and BMW in general) might be the next level in quality over VW, but you do have to pay heavily for that privilege. As you said Dave, if I was coming from an R, maybe the difference wouldn't be so much and I would have already signed by now, but I'm not in an R, I'm in a GTI, and that's a whole rung down cost wise from an AWD BMW.
Knowing how much I change my mind, don't be surprised if in the next few days I announce that I've just ordered one. I really am that fickle (no kids, don't smoke, don't drink mortgage paid off year ago, so cars are my only vice)